Before I begin, Iām in therapy for issues like this š
Anyway, I like to keep the peace, and recognize this is due to my parents constantly using me as a referee during fights between themselves or my siblings. I recognize I always tried to find the middle ground to keep everyone happy.
Thing is, I think itās followed me into adulthood. Iāve often taken on tasks at work that have stretched my capacity, I feel enormous guilt saying no to anyone, and Iām very easily swayed by opinions. For example, Iām in the process of choosing a new vet for my dog. I went to one my sister recommended and it was fine, but they were very detached. Whereas another one I went to for a different matter were so kind to both myself and my dog. Really felt they cared.
Iāve decided to choose the other vet as her main vet, and find myself actually scared to tell my sister because she didnāt have a good experience with them 20 years ago when they were under different management. Sheās held a grudge, as have my parents, and itās making me afraid to tell her that I, an adult, have made a choice different to hers. I feel like I have to justify my choice or that I should just go with what my older sister says because she must know better (another issue is me never believing Iām capable of making good choices - even though I live life so safely I have never taken a risk in my life?! I recognize this is because my parents/siblings always took control of my life and never let me decide for myself).
Also worried about making the wrong choice for my dog. Her usual vet retired and the practice closed down š