To move dd10 to another school?

[Feckinlego]

Dd was bullied last year, by her so called friends. School managed the situation and the bullying has more or less stopped. There are still dirty looks, the odd comment, and a lot of animosity. There has been animosity, bad atmosphere and general nastiness between the girls for 3 years really. My dd just can't get over it. She us hyper sensitive to these girls movements, doesn't understand what constitutes bad or good behaviour, is struggling to find her place with her other friends, and is just generally more unhappy and her self esteem has plummeted.

However, I admit I have become so permissive over the last couple of years with her, that she runs rings around me. I'm constantly trying to make up for her unhappiness by entertaining her, taking her places, buying her things etc. I don't trust my own judgement with her anymore. So when she asks to move school I'm scared it's the wrong decision. I don't want to send the message that you can run away from problems, or that mum will swoop in and fix everything. But equally I am her advocate and I want to protect her and keep her safe and happy.

Aibu to move her?

Hi, this is so hard, as a mum, we just want to protect them, maybe a talk about what she thinks will be better at a new school, and that things have to change, have you tried out of school activities, brownies b? For confidence
I have been in this situation so I know how hard it is x

Would she end up back with them at secondary? X

I wouldn't move her now. She will go to secondary shortly. She isn't being bullied at the moment and she isn't at any risk. Is the school doing anything to supporit her? My old school offered different therapies and social communication and friendship building groups. I would focus on building confidence. Join outside of school groups like a martial art and a social thing like brownies (If you can't afford it you can apply for help with girl guiding uniform and trips).

This series of books are good
www.amazon.co.uk/You-Are-Awesome-Confidence-Bestseller/dp/1526361159/ref=asc_df_1526361159/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310856639426&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=7831313853827049153&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046010&hvtargid=pla-439310250380&psc=1&mcid=d5f518d085df36b8afa6e2605ca641e4

Ahh that's so sad to hear. You say she has friends, would she not miss them if she moved? A previous poster said maybe wait until secondary as she isn't far away from that and moving could just make matters worse. Maybe try an out of school activity like brownies or scouts(?) to build some confidence.

Thank you all. To answer some questions, yes she will end up back with those girls in secondary school. Her school have helped with extra support classes etc, classes about bullying etc. She has had a very expensive course of play therapy which helped at the time. We are on a waiting list for counselling. She does lots of activities but has had to drop some because the bullies were there. Her friends are affected by the bad atmosphere and are all generally mean to each other in general.

Move her and don’t choose the same secondary school as those girls. She needs a fresh start.

Its not running away - adults can move jobs if they aren’t happy.