To think this is a terrible idea? Visitor

[TheCheeseThief]

Have my DM coming to visit tomorrow for a week and eldest has just been sick everywhere. Clearly a stomach bug.
My youngest is immune compromised and will end up in hospital if he catches it.

My DM is still insisting on coming to visit. Obviously the more people in the house more likely it is to pass onto everyone! She's also going away with a elderly family member soon as she gets home and risks passing it onto them if she catches it (which she most likely will)

AIBU to think she's being selfish? Love my DM but last time she helped when DC were poorly we all caught it and were very poorly and this time I only have the one bathroom!

Not to mention she's using public transport so if she's to poorly she'll end up stuck here. 😑

I wouldn't let her come op, it will only add to the nightmare. I hope you and particularly your youngest manage to avoid it.

Tell her tomorrow is a no go but as the visit is a week long you will let her know in a few days if she can come for the second half (which will only be if nobody else gets sick). She probably won't get to comes it probably will get passed round, but it might appease her for now.

I disagree. Being sick once does not indicate it’s a stomach bug.

Let your mother come

I'd cancel, you don't know for definite it's a bug and it'll definitely spread but it's not really worth the risk!

He's been feeling sick all day, and had eggy burps. I thought he was pulling my leg for a day off (he does this a lot) and then just threw up.
He's in bed asleep which is very very unlike him only happens when he's actually poorly.

I'm trying to cancel but she's saying it's fine she'll get over it by the time she goes home.
Going to be a bloody nightmare!!

I undertake that you feel that way mum but I'm putting my foot down. Let's chat tomorrow and see if it might work for the following day, but right now it's a firm no from me.

Understand not undertake!

Are you close to her?

No means no.

how often does she visit? how far away does she live?

She visits 2/3 times a year, but I only saw her a month ago. She's around 4 hours away.

No mum; it’s really not fine. You’re welcome to come another time when everyone is better but you are not welcome at the moment as it’s too much for me. I’m glad you understand. Thanks and bye!

was she driving or had booked train?

rather than say don’t come, why not just say 48 hours late

only 2/3x a year…. she’s probably really been excited about it

She's getting the train so can't really change the day on her tickets without paying more. I'm just baffled that she's still insisting on coming when it's more likely to spread and she knows my youngest can't risk catching it. 😩

Tell her no, your concern is not about her becoming ill but about the number of sick people in the house and having only one bathroom.

She also doesn't know how long it will take her to recover enough to be fit to get home.

I think a message which says you are not prepared to deal with more ill people in the house so she can't come at the moment but she would be welcome on x date.

because she’s booked her travel
she only visits 2/3 times a year

and she’s really bloody excited about visiting no doubt

why don’t you offer to pay for the change in ticket?

do you actually want her to come?

I love spending time with my mum that's just a ridiculous comment.

I just don't want her to get poorly, I only have the ONE bathroom, if I get it which I most likely will as I was scrubbing sick out of a carpet I'll need to sleep downstairs so my partner doesn't catch it which I can't if she's here staying.
I also don't want her to get stuck here for weeks if she's too poorly to go home. I also don't want her giving it to my elderly grandmother who will end up very poorly! Also I don't want anymore people here as risk passing it onto my diabetic child!

well then offer to pay for change of ticket

She's your mother, not a dictator.

Call her, say "mum, I'm cancelling your visit, I have to put my children's health first and as a brilliant mother yourself, I know you'll be completely understanding about this and agree to stay home."

Job done.

I'm just baffled that she's still insisting on coming when it's more likely to spread and she knows my youngest can't risk catching it.

It's reasonable not to want a visitor while you're looking after a sick child, but I doubt your mother's presence in the house is going to make it any more likely that your other child will catch it. Your youngest child has already been in contact with their puking sibling. If they're going to get it, they're going to get it whether your mum visits or not.

If you want to tell your mum not to come, that's fine - you can say that you can't cope with hosting her for a week while also looking after a sick child and you don't want an additional person throwing up, especially when you've only got one bathroom. But saying 'You can't come because your presence will be the thing that puts youngest child in hospital' would just be odd.

That's true, I think I was just in panic mode I don't like sick bugs but I'm even worse about bugs since youngest got their Illness.
Eldest is asleep now after puking episode so definitely a bug, youngest is okay checked his numbers and stuff and seems fine. I've dettoled everywhere and got the windows open so hopefully that helps.
Me on the other hand I've started feeling hot so probably.... a good idea for my mum to come look after us all because I don't know how I'll cope if I start being sick!

😂🙈

@TheCheeseThief Are you OK, OP? Is your youngest still bug-free?