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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel frightened of being home

22 replies

GreeneryGrass · 10/06/2024 14:38

Hello all,

Will try to keep this as brief as I can but there's some detail and I don't want to miss anything important. Please kindly advise, I'm in completely unchartered territory here and I'm really upset about this whole thing.

Bought our house a year ago. Me, DH and our 1 year old. Typical working class, family filled estate. Some antisocial people once in a blue moon like most places, but generally a very quiet estate.
Since we moved in, we've had the police at our door 4/5 times, all because of our neighbour. Single, older male, living alone.

He had letters of abuse posted through his door when we first moved here. Police insisted it's a personal incident and no risk of harm to us.
Then, more police presence outside his home. Watching his house, in his house over the months. We've said nothing beyond greetings to him. A few other incidents where they ask if we heard him fighting with someone in his home, we didn't. We later heard knocking on our wall, we reported it to 101 and they told us to ring 999 if this happens again. We thought this was a bit extreme, is it? We assumed they meant in that time, not just generally.

A few weeks ago I get a knock at 9pm from the police. Same Neighbour has been assaulted on his drive and in his home. They insist it is again an internal incident and nothing for us to feel threatened by despite my voiced concerns.
Then, two days later, his windows are smashed out. The police are back around, again insisting it is all related. At this point I am explicitly telling the police I am incredibly concerned about where we've moved to and who is living next door. They say they'll have more police coverage and will ensure they keep an eye on us too, but that it really is all connected and nothing that will involve us.

I have recently been told by another person with much more experience in our area that this man was outed online recently as being a child s*x offender and generally a very mentally unwell man. Address included on the post, allegedly hence the attacks. This post has since been deleted, I haven't seen it.
I was then told he terrorised the previous owners here by braying on their door and wall, and does similar to his other neighbour. This might add up with the request for us to ring 999 if we hear him knocking?

This brings me to now. He's just been braying on my sons wall half an hour ago. Loud enough to wake a heavily sleeping toddler and set off his white noise machine (which isn't always the most sensitive). I was about to ring the police but what if he is just doing DIY? Do I ring 101 and report it as a precaution or am I wasting police time for reporting what could easily be explained as DIY?

FYI, under Sarah's Law, I have requested details on if this man is indeed a listed offender, but won't find out for up to 45 days. My mind is spiralling. Did the last owners not need to inform us of an abusive neighbour? I really don't know. Please advise me if you can, TIA xx

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 10/06/2024 14:44

What do you mean by braying and how does it sound like DIY? I've not heard that word used in this context might be a regional thing.

As police are involved and have previously spoken with you I might call 101. But I'm not sure normally you would otherwise be reasonable for complaining about noise at 3pm in the afternoon.

StormingNorman · 10/06/2024 14:55

I don’t really have any useful advice but didn’t want to read and run. It sounds awful!

As the police have told you previously to get in touch over a minor disturbance, I would ring them about the braying. Nip it in the bud.

Limth · 10/06/2024 15:10

Sounds awful.

But excellent that the police are involved already.

As they've requested you to do, ring 999 each and every time he starts up banging on the wall. If you think its 'just DIY' and you don't want to call 999, don't but take a date/time stamped recording. This will build a picture/pattern of all the 'non-999 but loud DIY' situations that you've been subjected to.

If he's a sex offender who's been outed, you're at no risk from the people targeting his house. So don't worry about it.

Your son living next door to him is another issue though.

GreeneryGrass · 10/06/2024 15:20

Thank you everyone. Sorry, maybe braying is a regional term! Pounding on the wall, like banging very very loudly. It didn't sound like a hammer or anything like that, if that helps paint a picture. I wish I'd recorded it but I just didn't think in the moment, I just thought about getting to my son.

I'd be on edge even if I didn't have my son but knowing what this man could be capable of and having him next door is absolutely terrifying me. Surely if he has a history that needed to be disclosed at the time when we were buying? Am I wrong?

Thanks everyone for being so kind, I'm really scared about this situation to be honest.

OP posts:
Niegenug · 10/06/2024 15:22

If the previous owner had reported your neighbour for anti social behaviour, then yes they had a legal requirement to refer to it on the property information form. If they didn't, you can sue them.

GreeneryGrass · 10/06/2024 15:25

Do you think I could ring the estate agents we used to ask if there was anything they were aware of regarding the neighbour? Or should I not get them involved?

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 10/06/2024 15:28

Will your solicitor have a copy of the property information form?

Aquamarine1029 · 10/06/2024 15:28

The police are obviously very, very aware of this man and his issues, so I would call every single time there is a problem. I would also put up cameras and have a security system installed right away. Record everything.

WallaceinAnderland · 10/06/2024 15:29

we reported it to 101 and they told us to ring 999 if this happens again

You've already been told by the police what to do.

StormingNorman · 10/06/2024 15:29

Would you be looking to sell now you know about the neighbour? It’s worth being aware that if you contact the police, you may also have to declare it when you sell.

GreeneryGrass · 10/06/2024 15:31

WallaceinAnderland · 10/06/2024 15:29

we reported it to 101 and they told us to ring 999 if this happens again

You've already been told by the police what to do.

I understand, I haven't done so yet as I thought it was just for the time period that last incident was happening. I didn't think it was for in general life, but I'm more swayed towards phoning now.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 10/06/2024 15:31

Were these issues supposed to have been declared to you before you bought the home? I would be investigating this thoroughly.

GreeneryGrass · 10/06/2024 15:32

StormingNorman · 10/06/2024 15:29

Would you be looking to sell now you know about the neighbour? It’s worth being aware that if you contact the police, you may also have to declare it when you sell.

I honestly don't know, I think I need to see when the report comes back and see from there. I don't think I know enough to decide, I don't want to move but I don't know anything really at the minute

OP posts:
GreeneryGrass · 10/06/2024 15:33

Aquamarine1029 · 10/06/2024 15:28

The police are obviously very, very aware of this man and his issues, so I would call every single time there is a problem. I would also put up cameras and have a security system installed right away. Record everything.

Thank you. We're going to order Ring (or alternative brand) doorbells tonight and get these set up as soon as they arrive.

OP posts:
GreeneryGrass · 10/06/2024 15:33

Aquamarine1029 · 10/06/2024 15:31

Were these issues supposed to have been declared to you before you bought the home? I would be investigating this thoroughly.

Thank you. Where would you start? Do I ring the estate agents? Someone else mentioned solicitor?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 10/06/2024 15:36

GreeneryGrass · 10/06/2024 15:33

Thank you. Where would you start? Do I ring the estate agents? Someone else mentioned solicitor?

I would go to a solicitor. The estate agents are only going to care about covering their arse and their best interests, not yours.

GreeneryGrass · 10/06/2024 16:10

I've reported it to the police. Going to ring solicitors now.

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 10/06/2024 16:14

Ah thanks @GreeneryGrass I assumed it was something to do with noise but to me braying is making the noise of a donkey so your meaning makes far more sense. 😄

MaggieFS · 10/06/2024 16:14

Oh gosh what a thing. Yes, it's definitely one for your solicitor who handled your purchase. Depending on what was in the property information the previous owners gave you may take it from there. Perhaps ask mn to move this over to legal once you know.

WallaceinAnderland · 10/06/2024 16:21

Bear in mind OP that you will also have to declare this if you want to sell.

Sauvblanctime · 10/06/2024 16:28

Yanbu, sounds scary x

Sauvblanctime · 10/06/2024 16:33

https://offenders.org.uk/

you can put your area in here & it tells you who has been convicted.

Latest Offender - Jennifer Mallee

Sex offender who attacked two women in nightclub toilets.

https://offenders.org.uk/

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