Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I find it so hard to believe the best in my partner

2 replies

TurquoiseTurtle55 · 10/06/2024 14:22

I love him to absolute bits and he’s never given me any reason to doubt him or not trust him.

However, I get really scared because I’ve had my fair share of heartache and horrible men. I hear stories all the time about how frequent cheating is, how all men ‘have needs’ etc.

My boyfriend and I are both homebodies, we’re both 27 we enjoy staying in, doing puzzles together, going on long walks, you know all the typical ‘boring’ stuff.
I recently went through a stage of realising I no longer enjoy partying, drinking, even going to pubs etc and I did struggle with being comfortable with this for a while. I always felt, and still sometimes do, feel as if I should be doing these things.

My boyfriend is similar and no longer enjoys going out, partying etc.

I just worry so much - I know he used to be a big partier, has had a few flings, drunk a lot etc. so I guess I just worry that I’m stopping him from doing all of that stuff. He said I’m absolutely not. Sometimes when I’m busy he’ll go for drinks etc with his friends and I worry that he’s doing that because he’s finally getting away from me. He said absolutely not, he’d rather be with me!

I guess I just worry that all boys secretly want to be doing that stuff. And also secretly had needs. I know he has slept with a fair few girls before me. He’s adamant he just wants me now but I still get scared. I’ve been really unwell the last few weeks so we haven’t been very active and he’s been really supportive BUT I worry that he must be doing something else about it because he must have needs etc etc.

So… how do I stop feeling like this?? He’s given me no reason or any suspicious actions etc but I just can’t help but have no faith in men!!!

OP posts:
TurquoiseTurtle55 · 10/06/2024 16:08

Anyone?

OP posts:
DreadPirateRobots · 10/06/2024 16:10

You need to address your own insecurities, through counselling, journalling, learning to sit with your anxiety and not seek reassurance, whatever it takes.

He can't fix this for you. He will never be able to reassure you "enough". And it is deeply wearing to have your partner always seeking reassurance and panicking every time you're out of their eye line or having a life.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread