To stop giving baby things to my brother?

[miniorange]

As my children are growing out of needing things, I have been passing them on. These things are often expensive and sometimes have high sentimental value. I'm happy to hand them down, but I do expect a thank you!

Have recently passed some thing on that they need, again, no thank you.

Aibu to just stop, and give the things to charity instead?

Step-sibling. Going through a slightly distant patch.

I'm happy for them to have everything. They're low earners (largely by choice, I don't pity them or anything) and we're comfortable.

Just quite like a quick 'thanks'

Yeah, then I think, oh why not. It's for my niece so who cares.

My main issue is the lack of manners

They don’t want your stuff 🤷‍♀️

You should so sure of yourself 🤣

Personally I would focus on doing something good for your niece rather than stressing out about thanks.

That's the parents' job.

I think I'd still pass the stuff on. If you see them then perhaps you could mention that your parents never pass on any thanks.

@miniorange that’s even worse - asking via your parents. Just say to parents brother needs to ask for himself. Just start selling/donating.

If it’s all going through your parents then maybe they just aren’t passing on the thanks? I.e. they get the photo, say yes that’s great thank you, and parents don’t pass that on? Then when they actually receive the item in their mind the thanks have already been sent

Maybe, I've always managed to say thanks to the right person though, so they can manage it too!

If you want your niece to have and enjoy these things and like the idea of them passed on to family then I'd let it go personally.

Don't give him anything else

I'd stop handing things over and if anyone queries it, say you never received so much as a thank you even once, so you assumed the items weren't actually wanted. I would have zero qualms about doing this. It is basic manners to just drop a quick message to say thank you.

Next time parent asks "have you still got XYZ?"

• Not really. I've sold it to friend who's collecting it next week.

"But your step brother could do with it. I told him you had one".

• Sorry friend has already paid me.

Change subject. Then sell or donate item. Any money could be put in baby's savings account.

I would text and say "Did mum pass on the jumperoo to you? Only I never heard anything more about it, just wondered if you actually received it!".

And to your Mum I would say "Did you pass on the jumperoo to Dave? I haven't heard anything from him, so was wondering if he actually received it."

And next time your Mum suggests you pass anything on, say " Oh I thought they didn't want anything else, they haven't been in contact at all since I passed on the jumperoo, not a thank you or a phone call. So I'm going to give the pram to the charity shop."

I would say the following, "Hi DB, I have given you a few items of clothing/toys now but I never seem to get any feedback. Just wondering if you would still like me to pass stuff on, or if not needed or wanted I could sell, or give to those in need". Let me know your thoughts. DS.

If I was the brother I'd definitely send a message or a photo of niece using the donated item saying thank you. Even if I had said thanks via the parents(?)
But I'm big on manners!