To WFH due to a headache?

Paperplace · 2024-06-10T08:21:58+00:00

I didn’t sleep well last night. Fell asleep at 11:30, woke up at 1:30am and have been awake since. Got up with a banging headache, called my boss and asked to WFH as it is supposed to be an office day. He said yes that’s fine. I got a message from one of my colleagues on my team saying it’s making our team look bad because I’m not actually unwell and could’ve just taken some paracetamol and come in, as it is important that all of the team is together in office days for our meetings etc. I said yes but I don’t feel well. She said it’s only a headache and it’s not an illness that I can spread and so I should just take some tablets and get on with it. This woman is in her 60s and has been at the company for 20 years. So she isn’t afraid to say whatever she wants to people. I am in my late 20s and have only been there 6 months so I think she’s trying to act like she can tell me what to do. At the end of the day, my manager said it was fine. AIBU?

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 10/06/2024 09:24

Just say "mind your own biz"

She shouldn't know anything about your health anyway unless you've told her yourself.

It's none of her bees wax why you're off, whether that's from a stubbed toe to bereavement.

PenelopeFeatherington · 10/06/2024 09:24

It's not any of her business, but I do think that wfh blurs the boundaries somewhat, if you're too ill to work you shouldn't be working.

Singleandproud · 10/06/2024 09:25

I would screenshot the messages and send them to your manager. If he has shared the information that you are off with a headache he shouldn't have without your permission.

ILikeALemonWedgeInMyGin · 10/06/2024 09:25

Tell her your manager is fine with it and it's nothing to do with her so she can mind her own business.

Tdcp · 10/06/2024 09:25

If you manager has said it's fine then it doesn't really matter what the colleague has said. If she isn't in a senior role she has no business telling you what is and isn't acceptable.

Floofydawg · 10/06/2024 09:25

Nowt to do with her. Your manager has agreed it.

tvisstillon · 10/06/2024 09:27

I'm probably missing the point here but our work policy is basically 'if you're too sick to come in, you're too sick to work'. So in this scenario with a really bad headache, not sure how working from home will fix that? Rather than looking at a screen you probably need to take a sick day, take some meds and wait for it to pass. If you were one of my staff, I'd have told you to take it as sick and rest up till you felt better.

Having said that, if it's none of your colleague's business what's been agreed between you and your manager. I wouldn't even get into conversation about it. Her opinion is irrelevant.

Hope your head feels better soon!

DrJump · 10/06/2024 09:28

If you are sick don't work. If you have a headache but can work then go to work.

Original poster

Paperplace · 10/06/2024 09:28

Singleandproud · 10/06/2024 09:25

I would screenshot the messages and send them to your manager. If he has shared the information that you are off with a headache he shouldn't have without your permission.

Well I messaged the team to say that I won’t be in the office today. And she messaged me to ask what was wrong. I told her because usually she’s fine! I didn’t think anyone would have a problem with it.

I asked if I could WFH because I’m well enough to work but working from home gives me the flexibility to try and sleep a bit longer before starting, and i don’t have to sit under the very harsh office lights which will definitely make me feel worse. If I was really poorly with a virus or something I’d just call in sick completely

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Bcdfghjk · 10/06/2024 09:28

Email manager with screenshot of her messages.
I hope it was you that told her you have a headache as your manager shouldn't be revealing health issues to anyone else

CelesteCunningham · 10/06/2024 09:28

Is she senior to you?

If not, I'd email her and cc your manager thanking her for her concern but that you have agreed with manager to WFH.

Original poster

Paperplace · 10/06/2024 09:29

CelesteCunningham · 10/06/2024 09:28

Is she senior to you?

If not, I'd email her and cc your manager thanking her for her concern but that you have agreed with manager to WFH.

no she isn’t senior, she just thinks she is because she’s been there so long

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Maddy70 · 10/06/2024 09:32

Just say. I cleared it with my line manager. I dont need nor have asked for your permission

Original poster

Paperplace · 10/06/2024 09:32

tvisstillon · 10/06/2024 09:27

I'm probably missing the point here but our work policy is basically 'if you're too sick to come in, you're too sick to work'. So in this scenario with a really bad headache, not sure how working from home will fix that? Rather than looking at a screen you probably need to take a sick day, take some meds and wait for it to pass. If you were one of my staff, I'd have told you to take it as sick and rest up till you felt better.

Having said that, if it's none of your colleague's business what's been agreed between you and your manager. I wouldn't even get into conversation about it. Her opinion is irrelevant.

Hope your head feels better soon!

Yeah I get this. Usually I do just call in sick if I’m unwell but I do think I’m well enough to work. It’s one of the perks of the job really that it’s so flexible. A few weeks ago my manager worked from home all week because he had a cold and felt really rough. We don’t get paid for sick days so hardly anyone takes them anymore and just works from home instead. Whether that’s right or wrong, it’s just the way it is where I work so if I can opt to work from the comfort of my own home when I feel a bit shit, and my boss says it’s fine, I’m gonna take it.

and thank you 💝

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snoopyfanaccountant · 10/06/2024 09:33

I have WFH on an office day with a headache because I didn't feel safe driving due to the lack of sleep.

DaniMontyRae · 10/06/2024 09:34

I don't get this "if you're too ill to come in then you're too ill to work" stance. I have ibs, if it flares up badly then I can't do my 3 hour commute on public transport but I can work from home where I have a toilet accessible at all times. If I have a headache, like the OP, I can sleep in until 9am instead of 6.30am and have a nap in my lunch break.

And what about colds? Being able to wfh helps limit the spread of viruses. One of the key benefits of wfh is the flexibility it offers. So the colleague should butt her nose out and realise this isn't the 1990s anymore.

CelesteCunningham · 10/06/2024 09:37

DaniMontyRae · 10/06/2024 09:34

I don't get this "if you're too ill to come in then you're too ill to work" stance. I have ibs, if it flares up badly then I can't do my 3 hour commute on public transport but I can work from home where I have a toilet accessible at all times. If I have a headache, like the OP, I can sleep in until 9am instead of 6.30am and have a nap in my lunch break.

And what about colds? Being able to wfh helps limit the spread of viruses. One of the key benefits of wfh is the flexibility it offers. So the colleague should butt her nose out and realise this isn't the 1990s anymore.

Edited

Yeah exactly. I'm asthmatic and get awful coughs with every cold. My health improved significantly when I moved to a more flexible job (long before covid) and could skip the commute, stay in my warm house and rest physically while doing my work. Started doing that as soon as I felt a cold starting and my rate of chest infections went way down.

Back21970 · 10/06/2024 09:37

She is overstepping for sure - I’ve worked from home because I’ve felt a bit poorly before, probably not ill enough to be off sick but certainly not feeling up to getting on public transport.

I understand it’s a privilege to have a job you can do this in, but I would assume it would be the same for her so don’t get why she thinks it’s her place to give you a hard time.

slipmet · 10/06/2024 09:39

"If you're too ill to come in, then you shouldn't be working at all" is a load of rubbish. If you have a long commute or the office is loud or bright it can make you feel so much worse so being able to work from home and get the job done is great. I have WFH on days when I'm too ill to come in the office but can actually do the job. Being able to WFH and getting a few extra hours in bed, being near your own toilet, staying in comfy clothes when you're ill is priceless and hopefully helps you get better quicker.

Horseebooks · 10/06/2024 09:40

Standard for us to WFH when sick. If you’re REALLY sick like ‘can’t send an email’ sick then you say so, but just a shitty cold or a bad headache or something, it’s generally accepted that you might be a wee bit less than full power but you’ll do bits and pieces from home. It works really well for us

Moveoverdarlin · 10/06/2024 09:45

I’d say…

Hi Jenny

If Gary (boss) doesn’t have an issue, I can’t see why you do???

Then I’d say to Gary later, ‘Sorry about today, hope it didn’t leave anyone in the lurch with me WFH, I was fine to work but my head was banging and I had no sleep, I felt dreadful. It’s just Jenny is giving me loads of stick, saying everyone has to be in on office days and that a headache isn’t contagious. I got everything done as normal and I’m feeling better, I’ll be in the office tomorrow.

BizzyOldFule · 10/06/2024 09:45

You are unwell - reasonable to work from home and your boss says yes. No issue.
The only reason you opened this thread is - I suspect - to make an ageist comment about your colleague.

Original poster

Paperplace · 10/06/2024 09:49

BizzyOldFule · 10/06/2024 09:45

You are unwell - reasonable to work from home and your boss says yes. No issue.
The only reason you opened this thread is - I suspect - to make an ageist comment about your colleague.

Noo no no not at all. I meant it to highlight the point that she has been at the company years and so she feels she has the right to say things like that. You’re right, I didn’t need to state her age, I could’ve just said she’s been here a lot longer. But that’s the reason why she is like this… she calls herself the mum of our group. And everyone jokingly says “we work for Kath, this is Kaths team” as a joke. So she acts a bit superior than the rest of us, when she has the exact same job title. Saying all that, usually she is absolutely fine and I get on with her well. Which is why I told her the reason for WFH. I didn’t think she’d have a problem with it

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BizzyOldFule · 10/06/2024 09:59

Fair enough - but we see a lot of the stereotype of the older woman on here - the woman who is "out of touch", "set in her ways", "thinks she can tell us all what to do". It doesn't do anyone any favours - especially women. And often the person who has been there years has seen it all before - several times. Doesn't mean they are right but doesn't mean they should be dismissed either.

Ageism works the other way too - I see a lot of the "snowflake" stereotypes - which I also take issue with.

Your colleague doesn't sound very nice - that's true, but she was probably not very nice when she was in her twenties, thirties and forties too.

(Our organization is really good about WFH and I always do when I feel below par - not having to do the commute and being able to lie down at lunch time makes a huge difference)

Original poster

Paperplace · 10/06/2024 10:05

BizzyOldFule · 10/06/2024 09:59

Fair enough - but we see a lot of the stereotype of the older woman on here - the woman who is "out of touch", "set in her ways", "thinks she can tell us all what to do". It doesn't do anyone any favours - especially women. And often the person who has been there years has seen it all before - several times. Doesn't mean they are right but doesn't mean they should be dismissed either.

Ageism works the other way too - I see a lot of the "snowflake" stereotypes - which I also take issue with.

Your colleague doesn't sound very nice - that's true, but she was probably not very nice when she was in her twenties, thirties and forties too.

(Our organization is really good about WFH and I always do when I feel below par - not having to do the commute and being able to lie down at lunch time makes a huge difference)

Yes that’s true, I shouldn’t have mentioned that. I didn’t mean it like that, I was just trying to give context that’s all, but totally get your point and agree with it

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