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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To search DS's room?

5 replies

NoDetentions · 10/06/2024 06:39

DS14 with some issues around food including over eating. He has ASD and processing issues. He went to the corner shop on Saturday and spend his entire month's pocket money. He put a packet of sweets in the cupboard which he still hasn't touched (v. unusual). On Saturday evening he said he felt sick and didn't eat much (again very unusual). He also went straight to bed instead of asking to watch tv. I told him he wouldn't be in trouble but that I needed to know what he had eaten so I knew if he was ill because of that or a stomach bug. He was adamant he had only bought the sweets he had put in the cupboard. He didn't have a fever although didn't look 100% right.

He ate normally Sunday breakfast and lunch but after a spending a bit of time in his room he didn't eat much in the evening, again claiming to feel sick. He had cheese on toast for breakfast this morning, then tried to bargain with that as he felt still ill he would have this morning off school. Or maybe he should go in the morning and have this afternoon off school 🤔

I asked for his phone to check through (homework or test due so he's worried or guilty about) and discovered he'd spend £20 at the shop. I asked him again what he'd eaten and he said only the sweets. When I said he must have bought something else as he'd spent £20 he said he "couldn't remember ". When I told him I needed to know in case he'd eaten something that had made him ill he still "couldn't remember".

How bad a mother would I be to not believe he doesn't remember and check his room once he's left for school?

YABU to check his room, trust him, he's 14.
YANBU to check his room

OP posts:
Mindymomo · 10/06/2024 06:45

Yes, I would check room, rightly or wrong, you need to know if there’s anything going on that you can help with.

AmelieTaylor · 10/06/2024 06:47

He's 14, if I felt the need to check, I'd do I, without a care.

However, what could a 14 year old buy for £20 that makes any difference to what it is?? It hardly matters if it's an enormous amount of sweets or biscuits does it?

hopefully he'll learn from it. Though at 14 (with or without ASD) probably not the first time.

BusyMum47 · 10/06/2024 06:47

100% check his room. He's clearly lying to you & you've got his best interests at heart.

4thebest · 10/06/2024 07:00

I'm on the fence a bit with this. I have been through My sons room on several occasions but this was due to an overdose and self harming . So had to make sure nothing sharp amd no tablets in his room.

I'm not sure if I would do it over 20.00 on sweets. I would say I'm pretty sure your sick because you have eaten to many sweets . And you wasted your money you now got to wait a month till you get your next set of money.

MarieJG87 · 10/06/2024 07:22

Yes I would check his room. I think this would be different if he was 18 but he's a child!! I wouldn't even debate this & if it was my child I would tell him that's what I'm doing & do it whilst he's there. This isn't me being rude but people need to stop pussy footing around there children!

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