To think I might upset my mum by asking this

[fao]

Please bear with me and please be kind with respect to the religious references I am about to describe as I appreciate some people might think it's make belief etc.

My mum has travelled to Saudi Arabia to perform Hajj - in a nutshell it's a pilgrimage made by Muslims and essentially pray to God for anything you want. It is supposed to be a very special and once in a lifetime opportunity and culturally, if you know someone doing it you might ask them to make a specific prayer on your behalf.

And so, I did give her a written list of things (almost like a wishlist) I would like..
One of those points was "for God to give me the ability to look after my parents financially".
My parents are not rich - my dad is not allowed to work for health reasons, my mum works in a school but is quite unwell and would like to retire but can't afford to. They are both early 60s.

If you were a parent who was for lack of a better way to put it, poor, and read that your DC wanted to have the means to look after you financially would you feel bad/upset?

YABU- yes, as a parent I would feel bad/why would you write thay
YANBU- no, as a parent I wouldn't feel bad, seems fine

Hmmm I'm not sure really.

I get the whole religious pilgrimage thing btw, as I was raised by Catholic parents and it sounds similar to visiting Lourdes.

But depending on the parent and your relationship with them, it could come across as a bit of a 'dig', or as something to purposely make them feel bad.

Only you know your parents and relationship.

Hi OP. AIBU is probably not the best place for this. we have a Muslim mumsnetters board for exactly these kind of questions. you might be better served moving it over there?

personally depending on the culture (especially if you are south Asian or middle eastern), I wouldn't reccommend it. also could have been worded better as you are aware caring for our parents is seen as a great privilege from an Islamic perspective as it is a source of immense reward. a better phrasing may be, "Ya Allah, please grant me the opportunity and capacity to care for my parents in the best possible way and in a way which pleases You".

anyway, I assume your mum has already departed for hajj, so don't worry about it. Allah SWT knows what is in your heart. and probably your mum will be too tired, busy and overwhelmed to really notice the wording! hajj is a transformative experience, I doubt she will be focused on the fine print of the duas you asked for!

only you know how she’d react. but if there was even a doubt she’d take it negatively you shouldn’t have ruined her hajj with that prayer - as you said it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Maybe it would be been better to say money to look after “family” rather than “parents”

anywya I think it’s fine and yanbu to have asked that