DP talking a lot about another woman?

[ange877]

AIBU to feel upset/uncomfortable or is this normal?

DP and have been together 4 years and have a baby together.

He started a new job last year and met a new male colleague whom he's become good friends with.

DPs new friend has a wealthy gf. I've never met her only seen her in passing. By wealthy I'm talking a lot of family money, drives a Lamborghini, flying first class to lovely holiday destinations etc etc

It doesn't usually bother me what other people have as such, but my DP has taken to bringing up this woman and her wealth/what she has/what they are doing several times a week which I think is excessive and more than just passing convo, especially as I don't know her and she's no one really to our life.

It's stuff like "oh there's a such and such car, that's the same colour as Brian's gfs car"... "can you believe Brian's girlfriend has so and so"... "oh did I tell you Brian's gf got a new fancy watch"... "oh hey look there's a Lamborghini on TV like Brian's gf has".... "did you know Brian's girlfriend has bought them first class tickets to so and so"

Yes DP I do know as you've mentioned it 25 times this week!

I've been smiling and nodding generally but tonight I've asked him if there is any reason he keep talking about this other woman and what she has constantly, is it because he would like these things?

I would say my DP IS materialistic to an extent...

He says that he can talk about this lady as much as he wants and it's my issue if it's making me feel odd, and that I'm insecure and need to look at myself.

Maybe I am?

I think you should focus on the way he spoke to you when you raised an issue that was making you feel insecure or less valued in your relationship.

It doesn't really matter what that issue was.

A loving partner would have responded sensitively and with concern for your feelings and tried to understand, whatever the issue.

He responded dismissively and told you it's a "you" issue.

If my husband did that it would be a pretty big step in the direction of a divorce.

The girlfriend is the least of your worries.
What a nasty little worm he is.
The minute you queried it he turned viciously on you. Ugly little man.
As for the "didn't settle" remark.
Vile.
Not the words of a man who loves you.
Take this as a heads up that you are with a nasty prick.
Quietly get yourself organised.
Tell family and friends the truth and be ready.
He doesn't respect or particularly care for you and it's only a matter of time.
Be ready.
I'm so sorry.

The problem is when it's good it's so good. When he's nice it's so nice.
But I think if he could get "better" he'd be off.

You are seeing him clearly, and that is so helpful.
This is painful but unfortunately it is what it is.
Now you know, you have time to prepare for what looks like an inevitability.
Make sure you have any paperwork regarding his salary, etc. so that you can make a CMS payment quickly.
Thank goodness you returned to work.
There is no need to rush any decision.
Take your time and suit yourself, but it would be wise to be quietly prepared.
Accept support from family and friends.

Maybe you need to think about whether or not you could get ‘better’

Your partner sounds like he has a severe case of the green eyed monster. Riddled with jealousy of his mate for having a wealthy GF. Hopefully he'll come to terms with it and it'll pass and it won't turn into a case of 'I could have that too..' and resentment or devaluing of you because you don't provide the same. The slightest whiff of that, or any comparisons, and I'd have him on his way.

"He says that he can talk about this lady as much as he wants and it's my issue if it's making me feel odd, and that I'm insecure and need to look at myself."

What a horrible comment.

He fancies her as well as covets her bank balance.

He sounds a real peach, wanting a woman to provide for him.