Is this really true about cost of having a child?

[Childcostss]

Me and dh want a baby in the next year and have started to ttc. We have saved 10k to pay for childcare costs and felt pretty confident that given the new funding, this would cover it all before school starts. We’ve estimated we will need around 600 a month for clothes, food, trips out etc when he or she starts school. We thought this was a high estimate… but, chatting with friends over the weekend some were saying age 1 to 5 is the worst (all the costs of car seats and furniture etc and childcare)… others said they felt it got FAR worse when school started.

This has worried me a bit as I want to go part time after maternity leave but dh doesn’t earn well (less than 30k) and no prospect of earning more in the role he is in. It’s just made me apprehensive… I don’t want to be permanently skint but I’m also 34 and don’t want to wait too long either!

🤣 me too, I don't really touch it but my little one has to have it apparently

lol at the fruit thing - organic berries were a serious expense at ours during the toddler years! And I spent a shitload on mango.

Depends where you live, is £65 a day in our area so is £776 with the 2 funded days (plus top ups) and TFC

But it's only 15 hours free from 9 months to 3 years which is rolling out in Sep 2024. That is still 2 years and 3 months of mostly paid childcare. I don't know why people are saying 30 hours. It only kicks in the term starting after child turns 3 years old.

yes we spend a small fortune on their organic soft and exotic fruit too but in reality it’s just a luxury, would just go for much cheaper organic vegetables if (and when there was a time) we couldn’t afford to and likely to be able to achieve the same level of nutrition

Ha, I know what you mean. Punnets just get hoovered up when you have kids and teens.

If you send them to a state school many of the uniforms you can buy in Tesco cheaply!

P.S my two year son would have three bananas a day if I and his tummy would let him.

30 hours from 9 months from September 2025, the OP hasn’t even conceived yet so should be eligible by the time they need it

30 hours from Sep 2025 hasn't been rolled out yet and it will depend on the Tory government coming back which is too optimistic. Labour haven't agreed on it so the only policies which have been rolled out will stay but any new policies far in future may not materialize.

I’ve never paid a penny for childcare but there's no way a kid costs £600 a month on top of that.

You’ll be absolutely fine OP!

OP, don't rush to go part-time, it wouldn't be much fun to raise a family on a relatively low income.

You said that your partner's salary isn't likely to go up a lot, what about your earning potential?

Clothes and most baby equipment can be bought pre used of marketplace or eBay. The huge costs seem to be childcare, unless you have your Mum or MiL able and willing to help you out.

On average for food, shoes, clothes and activities? Probably £120. We don’t have any childcare costs for him.

I like others would re-think the nursery costs, our son was in nursery four days a week 8:30-4pm and it was just over £1,000 a month, so your £10,000 wouldn’t have gone very far, but it would have been a great starting point.

Mine isnt that expensive - but I agree wholeheartedly with the outlay on the fruit! Especially if they eye up a pre cubed watermelon box in the shop 😂

I would question your childcare estimates though. Im essex. 4 days a week 8-6 daily place. We get 30 free hours and we use tax free childcare too. My bill before the hours p/m was £1400-1500. Its now between £750-850. I roughly pay in £650 p/m to the childcare account.

You'll make it work. Everyone does. I'd be lying if i said i didnt manage our household finances and weekly shops to the penny, but we can do nice things and treats, with some thought or sacrificing stuff. I also dont think you can compare what you spend money on pre kids to post kids - our lives now are so different! x

There is no answer to this, it depends on so many variables
if you are 34 and you definitely want kids then just go for it now. Life isn’t getting any cheaper and it’s one of these things that you just make it work as you go along
they can be as expensive as you want, or as cheap as the circumstances necessitate

It's true young DC seem to like soft fruit but you can give them pureed apple or carrots if you do it from when you wean them. If you only offer them raspberries and strawberries that's what they will want. I always gave mine a variety of fruits and vegetables. So either preferred more than others but if you persist and that is all that is on offer most DC will accept them. I chopped up bits of coloured peppers and cucumber. I read somewhere you have to offer a food about 20-30 times before DC get used to them and their different taste.

Agree, it's more that you spend on different things. So let's say this weekend I spent £10 on swimming and £10 on soft play and £10 on a kids party present and card. So that's £30 I wouldn't have spent pre-kids. But I also didn't spend money on going out for brunch or whatever I used to do pre-kids. A lot of my social life happens via kids - e.g. I will chat with other mums at the party, or I'll develop friendships with other families and have them round so the kids can play in the garden while we have a cup of tea or an ice cream. That will do me, really.

I certainly don't think I spend £600/month on kids stuff. Then again, I wouldn't be paying a mortgage on a family sized home if I didn't have kids. Would I have Disney Plus? Maybe not, but turns out it has loads of adult programmes on too. Would I go on more holidays? Probably, but I'd only be paying for myself. So how do you divide it up? You can't, really. It's just a new phase of life with different priorities.

You're 34! Better get a move on, don't wait around.

Unless you have very expensive taste you'll be absolutely fine. That sounds like more than enough. I'm assuming you'll continue to earn money it's not like you'll stop having an income.

Preschool years are most expensive because of childcare, but everything else is cheap.

Primary school years are pretty cheap and childcare costs go down.

Teens, expensive!!!

Labour has strongly indicated they won’t roll back what has been committed, they’ll be a lot of very hacked off parents if they do!! Ourselves included!!!

I get a local fruit & veg box delivered, thinking I had the fruit issue covered.

Not ONCE have I had so much as a sniff of a raspberry, strawberry or blueberry in the fucker.

Soft fruit budget: entirely additional. Though this week I did get apricots, which have passed mister if I chop the stones out first…

Apart from childcare it's entirely manageable until they get to about 14...

Think of yourself as a child op, think of the little things you wanted and needed, think of when you had clubs, had to go to the doctor etc. every child is different. My parents were unfortunate that I loved horses, and that my brother had an addiction to branded clothes, a zillion hobbies. My friend’s parents paid thousands on braces and private help as she had scoliosis.

Babies and kids are expensive at times and at other times a packet of chocolate buttons and a story gives you the loveliest evening in!! Plan but don’t overthink. I feel bad for people who decided not to have children based on cost when they had two earners in the house- yes you go through ridiculous lows but they even out at times too- you’re a family and you make it through together. Best of luck.

RandomButtons
We have arguments in the fruit aisle weekly- my son is addicted to grapes, raspberries and strawberries and would go through a box a day if we didn’t stop him!!!!

We are paying about £900 for 4 days a week in the nursery in a cheap city but very expensive area. Ds is 2.
Our "days out" are cheap, such as a trip to the local park or a 5 minute drive to the farm, but then again his nursery is amazing and does more than enough in that zone, so maybe that will change in the future.
I buy most of his clothes from charity shops or very cheap supermarkets. I don't buy things like car seats second hand for safety reasons, but I don't go to the most fashionable brand.
I found that a big contributor to expenses is because you can be less flexible in a number of areas. For example on a recent holiday we ended up flying more expensively because otherwise we would have to change carriers during the layover and would have to transfer all the baby paraphernalia ourselves whilst trying to convince a 2 year old to hurry up. Similarly with food when we were child free I used to skip on some food items such as berries and salmon if there were no offers that week, but now I can't / don't because ds is very picky at times and I don't want to compromise on his nutrition. You get the idea...

It's the childcare that gets you - 3 days a week cost us about £800 a month, per child. It was manageable with one child, but crippling with 2. I didn't make enough working 3 days a week to cover the cost. So I'd say part-time childcare from end of Mat leave to start of school would have cost us in the region of £30k per child, but I gave up work for a few years instead.