Is this really true about cost of having a child?

[Childcostss]

Me and dh want a baby in the next year and have started to ttc. We have saved 10k to pay for childcare costs and felt pretty confident that given the new funding, this would cover it all before school starts. We’ve estimated we will need around 600 a month for clothes, food, trips out etc when he or she starts school. We thought this was a high estimate… but, chatting with friends over the weekend some were saying age 1 to 5 is the worst (all the costs of car seats and furniture etc and childcare)… others said they felt it got FAR worse when school started.

This has worried me a bit as I want to go part time after maternity leave but dh doesn’t earn well (less than 30k) and no prospect of earning more in the role he is in. It’s just made me apprehensive… I don’t want to be permanently skint but I’m also 34 and don’t want to wait too long either!

Kids cost as much as you want to spend generally.

Clothes and toys buy secondhand! Save's alot of money! This is easy while they're young. Also utilise birthdays etc to ask for specific things from family of they ask.

Major cost wise, childcare. Depending on where you use. For 3 days a week ours costs £600 on top of the 30."free" hours.

Safety things. I refuse to scrimp on anything that is for safety. So car seats mainly. You can be wise with this, research well (check out the exteded rear facing fb groups) and you can get away with maybe 2 or 3seats between 0-11 years. So not bad.

Days out can be enjoyed in savvy ways. Picnics, tesco vouchers, cashback offers. Easily done.

I wouldnt let cost put you off. Also if you want to go part time have you considered as the higher earner your partner also going part time. So both working 4 days each but child is only in childcare 3 days? This way lowers childcare costs and both parents get equal time with child and protect their careers.

Your estimate on childcare to school age is way under, and your estimate on other costs is way over. The “funded” hours aren’t free. Have you actually looked at the costs of nurseries near you? My child is 2 and attends one full time and we have the 15 hours currently. It took £300 off the monthly bill so now we only pay £2,000 a month, woohoo.

^This

And before you think buying frozen will save you, they go mushy when defrosted and neither of my two would touch them unless in porridge/yoghurt. It always had to be fresh and they put away at least a punnet a day between them.

I’d estimate an additional £40 per month on your food budget in fresh perishables like berries and veg. Plus so much gets wasted when they’re little but you need to keep offering variety. It’s pants tbh.

If you wait until you think you can afford it you'll be past the age of being able to have a baby! Honestly you make it work. Don't forget you will get child benefit four weekly too, which whilst it's a small amount it does cover the cost of the soft fruit (wish I was joking about that!). Childcare is extortionate but somehow you get through it. It's also as expensive as you make it - if I did it again I can tell you now I wouldn't be bothering with half the baby paraphernalia I had. Babies grow so fast that clothes come available so easily on marketplace or Vinted, as does a lot of baby stuff. Honestly if you want a baby I wouldn't wait - I was 37 when I had my first and 38 when I had my second (16m apart) and I wish I hadn't waited so long for so many reasons.

Try 4 dozen eggs and 30 pints of milk a week!

3 loaves of bread, 20 bananas and 14 apples…….
Berries are a rare treat!!

Kids can be cheap (buy everything second hand except car seat and mattress) but childcare is expensive.

DS goes four days a week and even with funded hours and 20% off, his childcare will have cost us over 40k before he starts school.

We will have funded hours from next September when DC2 will be 9 months ish, but I’m anticipating the cost of fees to have risen so much, that even with funded hours, we will be paying more than we did when DS started in 2021.

600 a month once they're in school?! Mine are 3, 4 and 6 (eldest two in reception and year 2) and I don't spend that on all three of them, including childcare (I work part time so the free hours covers what we need and top ups only £8 per day) and all their clubs.

It won't be easy on a full time wage of under 30k and a part time wage, if you earn more would it make sense for you both to go part time but you less part time than you are planning - so instead of me doing 50% of my full time hours both me and dh do 75% of full time which works really well financially and means we both get time off in the week.

Good luck!

100% this.
We had zero savings.
We've managed to raise 3 kids to tween age so far and had some lovely holidays and days out along the way. They have everything they need.
We've earned varying amounts and had harder times and less hard times. We've never had easy times financially but some how you get through it.
You can be as practical and sensible as you like but you want a child and that's an itch that doesn't go away.
And you're starting from a great level of savings. Kids don't know if they're in second hand clothes or hand me downs. Buy excellent car seats new. After that, economise, shop around, go to local stay and play groups to make friends, have home or park based play dates with those new friends and feed child same foods you eat without buying pouches and jars and things.
Go back to work as much or as little as you can afford. But after being home with baby/toddler for a bit, work will be very welcome!
Check "entitled to" website to see what benefits can help you.

Have you enquired at any nurseries nearby. There only 30 hours free for 3 year olds and above. From Sep 2024, there would be 15 hours free for 9 months and above. That will only give you one day free and that too nurseries will give you a day free when you enroll for at least 3 days of childcare per week. If you need to get 5 days childcare, you'll get one day free and you'll have to budget for 4 paid days. I think £10k would last you a year.

School age child in my house for a month:
£50 on hobby
£20ish on random clothes/ school shoes etc
£160 wraparound care
£200 on food (yes, soft fruit is a big chunk of that 🤣)
£25ish on subscription.

I

£300 a year school clothes
£100-120 a year on school shoes
£60 a year on trainers
£20 year wellies
£40 p/y summer footwear
£60 per year coats
£400 per year other clothes
£60 per year hair cuts
£40 per week food & toiletries at a guess
£10 per week school dinners
£50 per term brownies
£100 per term music lessons
£30 per month swimming lessons
£200-300 per year family days out
£20-40 per month general kid entertainment (cinema, soft play, etc)
£40 a term general school trips and “days”

Toys?
£100ish Christmas
£150ish birthday
£100 birthday party

Per child. We spend a lot less than most families I know. But you can also spend less if you’re thrifty.

No childcare costs because I wrap my hours around pickups and it’s absolutely exhausting.

Haha its actually not- my son has discovered raspberries are his favourite thing, he begs for them at every supermarket and will eat a whole pack in one sitting if allowed. Strawberries are a close second. And smoked salmon! Kid has expensive taste.

lol on another thread £700 a month for one child was deemed a “pittance”. 😂

o/p if your dh’s wage isn’t high enough for you to go pt- bearing in mind you will also lose pension contributions etc- have you thought about both of you dropping hours rather than just you?

so say you want dc 3days in child care. If you both drop one day to have dc, or condense hours or whatever, you may be better off financially. You’ll also be more resilient should one of you not be able to work temporarily, and both of you will maintain you pension contributions.

with your dh on 30k if you do split you may find one or both of you in the financial shit as there won’t be enough income to fund two homers, and you won’t have a pension.

Totally depends on your lifestyle, childcare is by far the biggest expense if you’re both continuing to work full time but if you’re only working part time then the funding should cover a large part of that. As for everything else then the actual essentials are quite minimal and so much can get for free or much reduced 2nd hand. I’ve bought a baby up on very little and also had the luxury of having a bit more to spend. I wouldn’t worry if I were you, sounds like you’ve more than enough for anything that really makes a difference to baby and enough to be quite comfortable yourselves

You'll be fine. They are a big expense BUT it's not that dramatic, you will sacrifice buying certain things for yourself as well don't forget.

It's not a joke 😂

TBH child costs can be very much a cut your cloth kind of situation.
You generally do what you can afford.

If you can't afford new, a lot of stuff is perfectly fine second hand.

Childcare- well that can be very expensive but plenty of people share school drop offs and pick ups with other parents so they can both make savings on wrap around care or rely on family.

What I'll also say is if you're part time, there will be areas in which you'll save, I'm assuming travel costs will drop, food costs may drop too if you're happy to spend extra time cooking you can sometimes save on food (based on my own life, if I'm working then I cut corners and to get dinner on the table I rely on convenience of things like fresh pasta vs dried, or idahoan mash instead of making my own)
You'll also find that when your child is eating a regular diet, by 5 or so it won't cost any more to feed them, however whilst they're weaning, I've found it to be more expensive. Given that my son would often play with the food he was given, I'd have a selection of pouches ontop of the meals he was prepared.
He's 2 now, and most of his food is normal stuff, but we do have yoghurt pouches (suckies are much cheaper in costco!) And I always have prune pouches and the amount of fruit he gets through is a shock.

I also recommend nearly new sales run by the nct foe anything child related

The 30 hours is a con....unless you are with a childminder most nurseries charge a top up which barely brings the cost down from what it was before

Oh and I had twins 🤪 financial planning went out of the window - my monthly childcare - for a childminder - tops £2k per month

Buying Soft fruit is like taking out another mortgage 😂

£30k isn't much of a wage to be honest - and if you live in a mortgaged property you won't get much UC

As someone else said, 10k for childcare until school seems massively optimistic, even with funded hours, unless they are only in nursery for maybe one day a week! I’d agree that there is more scope for saving some money after they start school and you might not need as much as 600 per month.

Also, nobody is joking about the fruit. 😂

Mine costs nothing near £600 a month and hasn't done since he was born, he's 12 now. The most expensive parts are birthdays/Christmas, July/august when buying new school uniform and then clothes shopping when they have a leap. Also school trips.

Admittedly, I never paid for childcare because both sets of parents took on that role when I went back to work.

But after the initial outlay for equipment before they're born they really are quite cheap to sustain, especially if you're breastfeeding.

We have saved 10k to pay for childcare costs and felt pretty confident that given the new funding, this would cover it all before school starts.

30 hours of funded hours a week for 38 weeks of the year, stretched over 52 weeks gives you just over 20 hours a week funded. If you need 8am-6pm 5 days a week, you'll be paying for ~28 hours a week, plus any charges for food.

Ours is £7.50 a day for all food, and £7.63 an hour for unfunded hours. That's £250 a week for a full time place. Our nursery is in the SE but on the cheaper side of the ones we have locally.

Hi op, i like a PP am also concerned at your calculations for childcare.

Obviously it will depend on how many hours your child attends, but my son attends 40 hours a week (so not quite full time) and we have 30 free hours.

Our bill is still £700 a month. (Before tax free childcare discount)

Just to double check, are you aware that the 30 free hours only apply during term time? So during all school holidays, you have to pay full whack?

Are you intending to have more than 1 child? We have a 3 year age gap between our kids, so there will be 10 months of overlap where we have to pay 2 lots of fees.

Prumary school xhild costs per week
Food- about £50 including packed lunch (worked out as proportion of family spend, including toiletries and cleaning stuff)
Hobbies- about £10. However her two hobbies (rugby and Scouts) are relatively cheap!
Swimming lessons (when she had them) £7a week
Annual costs
Birthday and Christmas... about £300
School uniform (including school shoes) £100
Clothes, shoes, sports kit etc... £500

So before days out, holidays etc... or wrap around care as we don't need it. about £4.5k
Or £375 a month.

But these costs can vary so much. Some pay hundreds monthly for hobbies. Your electricity bill will be higher. Holiday costs a lot higher.

DS aged 9 - piano lesson £28 a week. Cricket maybe £30 a month? Probably less. Food is just part of food shop (always under £200 a week for a family of 5). Trips to sweet shop maybe £10 a week.

DS aged 6 - beavers which is like £30 a term or something so £10 a month. So £2.50 a week term time. Stagecoach which is other end of the scale, about £175 a term so a third of that per month. Good and treats see above.

Uniform couple hundred £ once a year.
Christmas and birthdays of course.
Holidays.
Clothes aren’t much at all. Of course you can buy loads all the time but I probably do a £100 shop for the both of them (£50 each) a couple of times a year.

Honestly £600 a month is mental.

You asked about school age but just in case, DD aged 2 and 2 months:
nappies £10 a month (pack of 72 and uses one at night and one at nap time as is otherwise potty trained. Also did use cloth nappies which are a good investment).
Activities generally under £10 a week, eg soft play is £8ish or small local farm which is £5, otherwise free stuff as in see friends, go to park, go and see the fish at pets at home 😄

Then 2 days nursery which is what like £80 a day? So yeah, it’s the childcare.

‘Stuff’ hasn’t been an issue - you can spend very little if you want to, always plenty of people giving things away / selling very cheap.

It’s the childcare costs that are the killer. It’s like a second mortgage. £2,000.

Id check out the costs at your local nursery, it’s probably more than you think even including the free hours etc.