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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For feeling quite a few men are just a bit grim

4 replies

Justkeepswiimming · 09/06/2024 16:09

Harsh I know. And I know there are decent blokes out there (if you know where they are, please do let me know).

I'm back on OLD after coming off and on for 4 years. Each time I come back off feeling pretty disgusted and abandon the idea for months.

I'm back on because I would like to start dating after being single for 4 years. I'm being selective. I'm swiping right on people who seem to have their shit together, kids, professional jobs, normal pictures where there not posing ripped in a gym mirror. My age range is between 35 and 45. So not boys, or young men.

Aaaaand yet they cannot help talking about their d**k. The latest decided to respond to my question about what he gets up to in his spare time with 'normally I just wank myself silly'.

As a mum of a girl, a professional woman in my mid 30s, I absolutely find this demeaning, revolting, juvenile, and utterly pathetic. And I'd love to say this is unusual. But I think its more normal then not. For context we'd matched earlier on in the day. We'd not talked long. I'd said nothing that suggested I was interested or inviting that sort of conversation. I have no doubt he's at home shaking his little sausage quite regularly, but why would anyone want to know or care!

I think this is actually part of the course of OLD, although hopefully not amongst the wider male population. But on the basis of the nob pictures and gross comments like this I've received, can we conclude that lots of men are just a bit grim!

OP posts:
GentlemanJohnny · 09/06/2024 16:13

There are any number of decent blokes aged 40+ out there. I have known any number of them.

But they all had one thing in common. They wouldn't touch OLD with a bargepole.

You're narrowing your field by using it.

Justkeepswiimming · 09/06/2024 16:15

GentlemanJohnny · 09/06/2024 16:13

There are any number of decent blokes aged 40+ out there. I have known any number of them.

But they all had one thing in common. They wouldn't touch OLD with a bargepole.

You're narrowing your field by using it.

@GentlemanJohnny as I said, if you know where these guys hang out, please do point me in their direction. 🤣

OP posts:
itsabitdamp · 09/06/2024 16:15

I think it's more than a few. All my single friends who are on dating apps say the same.

One friend had a 60 year old sending her dick pics within days of chatting - this was a highly intelligent, professional man with a really responsible job. It's just the modern equivalent of flashing. I just don't know what goes through their heads - and I did wonder what his adult dc would think about it.

Tillybud81 · 09/06/2024 16:16

I swear they get off on knowing that saying crap like that makes (most of) us women uncomfortable. Then they go online and complain how we're all so picky and reject any man not 6'2"/rich/six pack (insert other), when in reality we just want a guy who's not a complete wanker, lol, and has matured passed being obsessed with his little willy.

And they wonder why most of us choose single life instead

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