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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My brother has taken all my mum's savings

8 replies

CheeryScroller · 09/06/2024 15:16

For as long as I can remember my brother (who is 57) has borrowed money from my mum and my grandma before she died, by way of emotional blackmail. To cut a long story short, I have found out in the last couple of days that Mum's savings have gone from 15k to zero - over a two year period. She now solely relies on her state pension. It seems 'borrowed' to my brother actually means 'keep' - always promising to pay the money back next week (next week never comes), he is more than happy to lie to his close family as we have recently found out (in black and white). Mum is 87 years old and owns her own property.
Now she has no money I am worried at what else he could do. On face value my brother is a decent chap, intelligent, no obvious addictions such as drink or drugs. He doesn't have his own property, in fact I have no idea where he lives! He chooses to confuse us on where he lives and what he does! I'm not even convinced he has a permanent job.
Although I had my suspicions, this was all confirmed in a very emotional phone call to my mum 2 days ago, where she has confirmed he has access to her bank accounts. Whenever I have broached the subject in the past with my mum, she becomes very protective of him and closes down the conversation.
I would most appreciate any advice on how to handle this going forward.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 09/06/2024 15:19

You need to get both POA’s ASAP

DustyLee123 · 09/06/2024 15:20

Has she got a will?
Whose name is the house in?

LouOver · 09/06/2024 15:28

POA and you need to go round and have a very serious talk with your mum on whether she has signed over the house to him, discussed equity release or taken a loan out on his behalf.

She is of an age that one bad fall can me she needs additional care ASAP, how is that going to be paid for?

Sparkletastic · 09/06/2024 16:33

Raise a financial abuse safeguarding case with her county's adult social care team. They will advise on next steps. POA to you is essential if she will consent.

Littlemissnikib · 09/06/2024 16:36

There is a very similar post on here and there is loads of advice on there. If your Mum owns her house sign uk to land registry notifications on her address. There have been instances of people selling other people’s houses and taking the money. The original owner has no recourse.

CheeryScroller · 09/06/2024 16:40

Yes, she has a will

OP posts:
ageratum1 · 09/06/2024 16:51

It seems that your dm is aware and has consented to your brother having this money, in which case I am not sure tere is anything you can do .

westisbest1982 · 09/06/2024 16:58

Have you had a frank conversation regarding the will and who she’s leaving the house to?

I think you need to see a solicitor asap, or she does. Also, if she needs care at any point then what she’s done could be considered deprivation of assets, in which case your brothers could be in trouble.

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