AIBU family vrs pub

[Kerrybee34]

AIBU to be upset when my partner stated he wanted to go to the pub today instead of coming with me to the hospital to visit my mum who had a heart attack 2 days ago? It started when he asked if we were going to the beer garden this afternoon-i could already see where this was going so i said it depended on whether we were going to go as a family and then leave after a couple of hours to go visit my mum or if i was just going to have to leave him there and then go on my own with my son. When he said he would stay i said he could go but I wouldn’t bother. I’ve been accused of being controlling and ruining something he had been looking forward to all week. He’s been in bed upstairs sulking since. His reaction has got me thinking AIBU? I don’t feel like I am but then i might just be a controlling nagbag like he makes out 🙄

How long have you been together?
Men who sulk are very unattractive.

The highlight of your husband's week is going to the pub for a "family day out"? Even without the rest of your post that sounds massively depressing.

I'd leave him in the pub if I were you and do something a bit more appropriate with your son.

I hope your mum is getting better. ❤️

We have been together almost 10 years.

I did say he could and should (cause i’m disgusted at his tantrum) just go to the pub without me but he won’t.

Leave him to sulk while you and your son visit your mum and do something nice that doesn't involve spending the afternoon in a pub like a sad old wino.

Is he an alcoholic?
I can see no other reason why a grown man would sulk about you not all going to the pub? Would going on his own make his drinking look worse so he feels he can’t go alone or something?
Sorry to hear about DM, I hope she makes a good recovery.

Of course he's sulking Op, if you went with him it meant it was OK for him to go, plus he could stay there while you went to the hospital. I like a trip to the pub but I wouldn't put it before visiting family, especially when they'd had a heart attack

He thinks a good afternoon for a child is sitting in a pub for hours on end?

I think it’s that it makes it clear what a prick he is if he nobs off to the pub on his own, while his wife and child visit a seriously sick relative in hospital. At least if the op goes with him he can go without feeling guilty, as she initially went to the pub too

He sounds childish and sulking wouldn't endear anyone to me
but I don't think he IBU to not want to sit in hospital with you.

When my Mum was in hospital, my dh looked after the dc and I was able to spend some lovely 1:1 time with her.

So, in answer to AIBU to be upset when my partner stated he wanted to go to the pub today instead of coming with me to the hospital to visit my mum who had a heart attack 2 days ago? I think YABU.
However, that doesn't mean I condone the rest of his behaviour or accusations.

Unfortunately you see quite a few blokes who seem to think this is fine.

It’s bloody awful.

She did say pub garden. We used to take my son to a beer garden when he was little, that had a huge bouncy castle, inflatable assault course and swings etc. We didn't actually drink alcohol but we'd go for some lunch and my son loved it. Wouldn't have said it was the highlight of our week though!!!

I mean it depends on his behaviour there really. The sulking though..completely unattractive.

Wishing your mum a speedy recovery OP.

So you had plans to spend this afternoon in the pub garden? Just you and DC or with friends? Presumably he wasn't planning to stay alone?

I think you were a but churlish actually. I don't see why you couldn't have gone for a bit and then go to visit your mum. Would he usually cone to visit mum in hospital? Would she want him to?

A summer beer garden with friends and family is one of my favourite things. I'd have been looking forward to it all week, especially as some suitable weather has been so long coming. I'd have been disappointed you refused to come too.

I don't think going to a pub garden is the same thing as going to the pub? A summer beer garden is lovely and we don't get many opportunities, especially this year.

Her mum had a heart attack two days ago. She has others things on her mind.

Yes but OP suggested they could all go to pub and then to hospital, so I don't see why she couldn't stick with that plan and go to the hospital as planned, even if DH didn't.

Personally, if I were in hospital, I wouldn't want any but my closest people visiting anyway, unless it was going to be very long term.

Why won't he take your DS to the pub and let you spend time with your DM in peace?

When my DM was seriously ill in hospital there is no way she would have wanted DH & DS to visit with me ... and I preferred to have the time to devote to her needs (not catering to a whiny adult).

Just to clarify a few details - it is a lovely beer garden nice play area, some farm animals and football pitch so very family friendly.
The pub is 15 mins in the opposite direction to the hospital which is already 45 mins from home. I was willing to go all together and then go straight to the hospital but if he was staying it seemed pointless me going (i’m not really in the mood) to then have to drive back past my house.

And was he expecting you to do the driving, while he had a drink?