To ask if your child sees their dad once or twice a month for a day, do they got a good relationship?

[Hreeos]

Or has it negatively affected your child?

Ds is 2. His dad sees him once or twice a month for a day due to how far away he lives. He does pay his bit towards ds and they do something fun when they see each other. It’s just not what I wanted for my child. I worry!

Title should say do they have a good relationship!

My daughter did when little once she got to 8 she definitely noticed it was different to some of her friends dad's. Kids talk and compare, since approx age 10 she resented him and would actively ask why he didn't try harder to see her more and at 16 she's seen him once so far this year, her relationship is not a good one. You can't really be considered a parent 2 days out of 31 tbh. I'm sad for her, I had a great relationship with my dad as a little girl and young woman. I'm thankful my husband has stepped up to be a second parent but its never going to be the same as having your dad.

No family relationship is perfect. Not one. And there really isn't anything you can do about this one so, although it's normal to worry, it won't help to keep thinking about it. Concentrate on having a healthy, loving, open relationship with him yourself. Avoid the pitfalls of single mum-single boy (if that's what he is) like enmeshment and a more partner-like relationship than a mum-son one. You'll be alright. Basically, work on the things in your power not out.

My other half is kind of in the same boat, he gets to see his child once a month over a weekend due to no fault of his own but the mother moving a very long way away ..he as to get the early morning coach down there that takes 7 hours each way stays over in a hotel 1 night and comes back the next day after he's spent the 2nd day with his little one ...hopefully he will be driving soon so the travel down won't be as much but still I always worry for him that it isn't enough time..but every time his little one see's him he gets DADDY and runs up and gives him a big cuddle ...they have the best time together 🥰

I grew up not seeing my dad much. I was still very much a daddy’s girl as a child and even though I still don’t see him very much right now, he is the parent I go to for advice and things like that etc x

I have a six year old granddaughter who lives 4 hours away. I work full time and have commitments that means I can’t travel to see her frequently. I have always been available for her outside working hours and she gets her mum to Zoom call me on her tablet then takes me in her room to play with her over Zoom! I am always the naughty dolls voice or the complaining customer playing shops,we have a very close relationship and she has always come to stay with me for a week at a time several times a year from being tiny. If you all are prepared to put time and effort in they can be close.

Nope. A parent is very different from a grandparent @Whoyoutakingto though and a parent who only sees their child one day in 30 is not a good one.
My ex had a similar routine- maybe twice a month for a while around ages 8-13 and then it tailed off. As adults now the grown kids see their dad 3/4 times a year and in fact one has gone no contact now.

His loss. The wanker. But it has a cost to them too… parents should be dependable.

My friend sees his daughter approx once a months and always has done as she lives in Scotland and he lives in London. They have a wonderful relationship. He does do overnights with her though which gives them more time together.

My 9 year old son sees his dad every other weekend for 1-2 days, so maximum 4 days per month. He doesn’t have a good relationship with his dad and is starting to get distressed and refuses to see his dad on his weekends. You cannot be a parent or maintain a close relationship with so little contact.

Ok so how can that be changed.

He does see them

He does pay.

They do something fun.

So that a great start compared to some dads.

Could he stay somewhere? Who moved? Like a night with dc in a local b and b. Some people even "nest" and go away for the weekend and other parent moves in.
Holidays? Can he not take child to his home?
If the relationship is good overall I would chat to him and see what can be changed going forward.

My 6 year olds see their father, on average, one weekend a month and video call a couple of times
I think he's a prick, but they enjoy their time with him and have a good bond with him.
I suspect that, like his older children, they'll see him for who he is as they get older, but for now it's a fairly positive relationship.