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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

lets all share our locations with someone

158 replies

cannonballz · 08/06/2024 13:27

specifically while wondering around in a holiday destination on our own, but generally, really at all times. I go birdwatching, or camping, or running, and my son has my location tracked on my phone. My daughter goes on nights out, and I know where she is. My son goes to festivals, and his father can track him. Basically, all of us can be found by at least one relative, if anything unexpected happens.

Surely, most people carry phones, and surely, this function is one of the major benefits?

OP posts:
Ginkypig · 08/06/2024 17:47

I don’t want my phone to track me, it tracks energy already without me adding more permissions to allow it.

i do share where I’ll be if appropriate with the people who need to know.

it’s unlikely my dp, or friend or whoever won’t know roughly where il be. Work shop appointment etc

daydreamsandsunbeams · 08/06/2024 17:48

@KreedKafer

"Do whatever you want re. location tracking.

Don’t tell other people what they should do, though. It’s none of your business.

Location tracking shouldn’t be promoted as a default norm. Although it has some minor safety advantages, it’s also a common way for abusive or controlling partners and parents to control/stalk their partner or kids, and encouraging it to be considered a normal safety measure makes it a lot harder for victims to refuse it or complain.

If someone goes missing and has their phone with them, the police can usually use phone mast records to find out roughly where they’ve been anyway, so in an emergency situation there is info available without people being tracked 24/7 by loved ones."

If you start a thread saying 'don't tell people what to do' it's a bit hypocritical to start telling people what should or shouldn't be promoted.

Knowing your family's location has significant safety advantages especially if travelling and frankly I wouldn't want to have to wait for the police to trace me or my relative. Far better for my family to all know where we are if anything happens as unfortunately as women, there are often places and times where it is not safe to walk even if it should be.

As long as people are cautious who they share their location with and often review and revise who has access to it, there's nothing wrong with sharing your location. Especially if it's only looked at in emergencies. Most people aren't doing anything they mind their closest family/friends knowing. You can't live your life in anticipation of being in an abusive relationship.

SouthLondonMum22 · 08/06/2024 17:48

No thanks. I’d hate people always knowing where I am.

OldTinHat · 08/06/2024 17:52

No, thank you. My life is my own and I don't need babysitting.

The only time I share a location is via Waze if I'm travelling and have a tricky meet up time/place. Other than that, you can keep your beak out, ta.

cannonballz · 08/06/2024 17:54

ItsAlwaysSunnyInMyDreams · 08/06/2024 13:32

If this post is in relation to the dr going missing in Greece, it's a moot point anyway as he left his phone at the beach.

well obviously it only works if you are caring the device that is being tracked, be that a phone, watch, or whatever - but it is sensible to do so, particularly if you are going off on your own in an unknown part of the world, in dangerous weather.

OP posts:
cannonballz · 08/06/2024 17:56

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 08/06/2024 17:27

No. Why? I'm a grown up ☺️

tbh, you don't sound it- a "grown up" would appreciate the risk

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 08/06/2024 17:57

daydreamsandsunbeams · 08/06/2024 13:45

I think location sharing is brilliant when it's done with people who are safe and caring and not in a DV/ other abusive situation

Agree. My partner and I have shared our locations on our phones. Can’t remember the last time I used it, but it’s a peace of mind thing for both of us.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 08/06/2024 17:59

You get kidnapped the first thing they'll do is toss your phone/watch

You get attacked and robbed then they will turn your phone off/remove the SIM

Your phone can easily be smashed before anything happens. Or taken to another location if they really don't want you to be found

Whereas tracking opens up all kinds of abuse, tracking and interference in your life

cannonballz · 08/06/2024 17:59

worcesterpear · 08/06/2024 17:30

No thanks, maybe if I was going for a long walk alone, but definitely not all the time.

well, you don't need it all the time, do you, but in certain circumstances and situations in makes a difference, long walks alone being one of them!

I recently came across a tree surgeon working alone in an isolated area, and showed him how to share his location with his wife - I did find it quite alarming that he was in a densely wooded area, fenced off because it wasn't safe, and no one would know where he was if he had an accident

OP posts:
PeloMom · 08/06/2024 18:01

DH and I share location with each other. His elderly parents share with us too (they don’t see ours). We will add our DC once old enough as well. I understand it’s not for everyone.

PeloMom · 08/06/2024 18:02

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 08/06/2024 17:59

You get kidnapped the first thing they'll do is toss your phone/watch

You get attacked and robbed then they will turn your phone off/remove the SIM

Your phone can easily be smashed before anything happens. Or taken to another location if they really don't want you to be found

Whereas tracking opens up all kinds of abuse, tracking and interference in your life

True however even phone is tossed will give an idea where about the person was last - and hopefully be a helpful starting point.

StSwithinsDay · 08/06/2024 18:02

I read this article on wired. It's worth thinking about. And none of my family track anyone else. Both our kids have travelled widely, Asia, Australia, New Zealand and Europe and it never crossed our minds to track them. They would have refused anyway.

*“We have this sort of magical thinking that if we know where our loved ones are, we can somehow save them from a dangerous world,” says David Greenfield, PhD, ABPP, and founder and director of The Center for Internet and Technology Addiction. The apps are marketing to our primal fear of disconnecting from our loved ones. But is the benefit of perceived safety worth the excess anxiety? Or is there more bliss in ignorance?

Consider Tracking Pitfalls
The truth is, there are legitimate reasons why you might not want someone to track your every move. "It could be as virtuous as someone wanting to buy a surprise gift for a loved one, or maybe something a little risky, like a teen wanting to be alone with her boyfriend," says Wisniewski. “To some extent, that boundary-pushing, that privacy, is healthy, particularly during the teenage years.”
Each socially rewarding reason to use tracking tech comes with a privacy-related or anxiety-inducing consequence. The most obvious pitfall: Tracking breeds a lack of trust, especially when it's used to police kids' behavior.
“You're not only feeding your own anxiety, but you're also communicating that you don't think your kid can hack it in the real world without your help—and that can have devastating consequences for you, your child, and your relationship,” Greenfield says. It can even impact their ability to successfully launch into adulthood.
For example, kids who are tracked may not become as self-reliant as their untracked counterparts. “Children develop a sense of confidence when they're encouraged to go out into the world without safety nets,” says Greenfield. “They make mistakes, trip and fall, run out of gas, and they become more competent as a result.”
Experts agree that trust, privacy, and the opportunity to make mistakes—and grow from them—trump the sense of perceived safety we get from consistent monitoring. “If you're using geo-tracking to find out if your kid is on his way home so you can start making dinner, that's a healthy use,” says Wisniewski. “But if it gets to the point of obsessive monitoring, that's unhealthy surveillance.”
What's more concerning: Tracking technologies could place your loved ones at greater risk. When teens know parents are following their every move, they may find ways to disable location-sharing, Wisniewski says. They buy burner phones, remove batteries from their devices, power down. Then, in a true emergency, even the police can't pinpoint their exact location.*

cannonballz · 08/06/2024 18:03

NewtGuineaPig · 08/06/2024 17:43

I have location sharing set up as well as Garmin incident detection as I run alone, early in the morning, on trails etc. There have been a few incidents I've read about that have made me more cautious and one incident that happened to me so I'd rather at least my last location was visible. It also makes me feel safer walking home from station in the dark.

Yes, my friend used this facility when her husband fell and knocked himself out trail running - it was literally a life saver. I am not sure exactly how it works, but seems like if it detects a fall then it rings a designated person? Or something similar.

OP posts:
OperationSquid · 08/06/2024 18:03

as soon as im carrying my phone, then logging in wifi with my tablet etc its already being tracked or i presume it is, unless we leave all tech at x location then its part of daily life

SilverBranchGoldenPears · 08/06/2024 18:04

I love it.
I’ve had very bad experiences (understatement) and its a source of relief for me that someone knows where i am if i am out of touch.
If I don’t want people to know - like if I am pissed off and want to be unavailable then I turn off location on my phone. Easy.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 08/06/2024 18:05

cannonballz · 08/06/2024 17:59

well, you don't need it all the time, do you, but in certain circumstances and situations in makes a difference, long walks alone being one of them!

I recently came across a tree surgeon working alone in an isolated area, and showed him how to share his location with his wife - I did find it quite alarming that he was in a densely wooded area, fenced off because it wasn't safe, and no one would know where he was if he had an accident

Well they would... he'd be in the woods where he was going to cut down the trees.
Better would be his watch reacting to his heart stopping tbh

cannonballz · 08/06/2024 18:05

StSwithinsDay · 08/06/2024 18:02

I read this article on wired. It's worth thinking about. And none of my family track anyone else. Both our kids have travelled widely, Asia, Australia, New Zealand and Europe and it never crossed our minds to track them. They would have refused anyway.

*“We have this sort of magical thinking that if we know where our loved ones are, we can somehow save them from a dangerous world,” says David Greenfield, PhD, ABPP, and founder and director of The Center for Internet and Technology Addiction. The apps are marketing to our primal fear of disconnecting from our loved ones. But is the benefit of perceived safety worth the excess anxiety? Or is there more bliss in ignorance?

Consider Tracking Pitfalls
The truth is, there are legitimate reasons why you might not want someone to track your every move. "It could be as virtuous as someone wanting to buy a surprise gift for a loved one, or maybe something a little risky, like a teen wanting to be alone with her boyfriend," says Wisniewski. “To some extent, that boundary-pushing, that privacy, is healthy, particularly during the teenage years.”
Each socially rewarding reason to use tracking tech comes with a privacy-related or anxiety-inducing consequence. The most obvious pitfall: Tracking breeds a lack of trust, especially when it's used to police kids' behavior.
“You're not only feeding your own anxiety, but you're also communicating that you don't think your kid can hack it in the real world without your help—and that can have devastating consequences for you, your child, and your relationship,” Greenfield says. It can even impact their ability to successfully launch into adulthood.
For example, kids who are tracked may not become as self-reliant as their untracked counterparts. “Children develop a sense of confidence when they're encouraged to go out into the world without safety nets,” says Greenfield. “They make mistakes, trip and fall, run out of gas, and they become more competent as a result.”
Experts agree that trust, privacy, and the opportunity to make mistakes—and grow from them—trump the sense of perceived safety we get from consistent monitoring. “If you're using geo-tracking to find out if your kid is on his way home so you can start making dinner, that's a healthy use,” says Wisniewski. “But if it gets to the point of obsessive monitoring, that's unhealthy surveillance.”
What's more concerning: Tracking technologies could place your loved ones at greater risk. When teens know parents are following their every move, they may find ways to disable location-sharing, Wisniewski says. They buy burner phones, remove batteries from their devices, power down. Then, in a true emergency, even the police can't pinpoint their exact location.*

none of this is relevant- it is talking about "obsessive monitoring" being unhealthy - of course it is - a completely different scenario to tracking someone while they are out walking alone in a dangerous place or in dangerous weather.

OP posts:
ButWhatAboutTheBees · 08/06/2024 18:06

PeloMom · 08/06/2024 18:02

True however even phone is tossed will give an idea where about the person was last - and hopefully be a helpful starting point.

Or lead them miles away if the phone is driven away to be tossed first

cannonballz · 08/06/2024 18:07

another incident I heard of recently, a colleague had a heart attack while running in a park - he was given CPR at the scene and taken to hospital where he was in a coma for many days. it took his family a LONG time to find him - more than 24 hours. He survived, but in many situations, that would make the difference between having a chance to say goodbye or not. he now shares his location on his phone

OP posts:
cannonballz · 08/06/2024 18:08

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 08/06/2024 18:06

Or lead them miles away if the phone is driven away to be tossed first

it is all relevant information.

OP posts:
cannonballz · 08/06/2024 18:10

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 08/06/2024 18:05

Well they would... he'd be in the woods where he was going to cut down the trees.
Better would be his watch reacting to his heart stopping tbh

no, it doesn't work like that, the grounds would be locked up at a certain time, and yes, he had signed in, but enough people leave after forgetting to sign out that would be no guarantee of an alarm being raised, especially as the person locking up the grounds would not necessarily know where to look for him.

But yes, sharing info by watch is also a good option

OP posts:
Justleaveitblankthen · 08/06/2024 19:16

Not for me either.

Remember though the case of the young British woman living in Greece who's husband murdered her and claimed it was robbers?
They convicted him by the data of her heartbeat on her smart watch alone.

It proved his story was a pack of lies.

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 08/06/2024 19:18

Coverage? It doesn’t work then presumably?

Nobody cares where I am 🤣seriously it’s either home, a supermarket, park, or DM’s probably 95% of the time.

fieldsofbutterflies · 08/06/2024 19:20

Not for me either, nobody needs to know where I am all the time.

mondaytosunday · 08/06/2024 19:33

I share my location with my daughter and she with me.
I have my sons phone on 'find my phone'! He lost it and I managed to track it to M&S in the city he was in even though he said he didn't go there. Pinged it and they replied and he was able to get it back the next day.
I think the Dr Moseley case highlights the importance of taking your phone with you if going for a walk in a strange place in inhospitable conditions. Sure he may drop and break it or run out of battery, but he might also have the chance to call for help or injured or use GPS for guidance.