To only take one child at a time on holiday?

[Lonelee]

Okay please hear me out.
We are a family of 5 and have had a lot of financial difficulties. We have only recently (last 4 years been able to take family holidays here in the uk. We usually rent out a nice cottage in the countryside and we've had some lovely times together.

Now that the kids are in their teens, they want to explore the world and go abroad. They like exploring, sight seeing etc so a resort hol isn't something they'd like. I've had a look at some flights and accommodation prices for Istanbul / Marrakech as thought those destinations would be reasonably cheap ( correct me if I'm wrong!) and it comes to £4000 for accomodation and flights. No idea how much food and excursions would cost but thinking it might be an extra £2k.

£6k is just too much for us. And would take years to save up for.

Then I thought that what if I took just one child for a long weekend somewhere in Europe. It would be around £600 for both us and then the following year I could take another child. We'd still do the yearly UK holidays as a family but this way each child gets to go abroad too.

YABU - stupid idea and unfair on the other kids
YANBU - sounds great

I wouldn’t because of there’s a change in your circumstances where you then can’t take the others that wouldn’t be fair and would potentially cause issues between the children.

Why not find a cheap airb&b for all 5 of you and flights. Book in advance, over a long weekend or taking a Friday or Monday off school. Then flights should be cheap. I don't think accommodation would cost 4k. Stay in hotels slightly out of town and you could take the bus or train into town.

I wouldn’t either - family time together is so special and if you can only do one or the other, I’d pick family. I am sure you can do it for far less than that. Have you looked at places in Eastern Europe? Eg Budapest, Krakow, Croatia, or a fun week travelling through the Baltics (Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia?). All beautiful, call, interesting, lots to see and do, and have cheap flights.

if you take them all individually, there's the cost of you going three times.
what would it cost for all of you to do the European weekend rather than two of you?

If you have financial difficulties anyway, it seems an off thing to prioritise

I wouldn’t- a year is a long time in a child life they will just see they aren’t going

I would. My teens have totally different temperaments and interests and would love 1-1 time focused on what they enjoy.

I take my two away separately, they have different interests and needs when travelling. In saying that I do one weekend each per year, so DC1 knows I’m going to X with their sibling and DC2 knows we’re doing Y a few weeks/months later. It works well because we can still do a week away as a family.

So each child would miss a holiday one year and then have to wait another year to go themselves. I think they would see that as unfair. I would go cheaper altogether.

We have also had a few cheap family holidays driving and catching the ferry to France (£100 each way) with an Airbnb in not very fashionable holiday spots in northern France - I think we got some nice large apartments for less than £100 a night and could then self cater.

I think you need to be very careful. My parents did this and I started smoking and other acts of self -sabotage to manage the feelings of rejection and abandonment at being left behind.

I wouldn’t, however you spin it it won’t seem fair to the ones who have to wait and if your circumstances change it will end in disaster.

I’d look at a Eurocamp - you don’t have to use the kids facilities, you can find a nice quiet camp with a pool in a good area for exploring. I find they are great for this sort of holiday. You can get a nice site for £1k per week in summer holidays, ferry will be less than £200 return and then petrol. Very easy to go self catering - most sites provide bbq’s too.

I would not bother with the UK holiday for a year & I would research places where the cost of living is cheaper - krakow, gdansk, ljubljana, split, Porto etc & book an apartment & cheap flights. A well planned trip for 4 days can feel a lot longer in a good way - pack in as many sightseeing things as you can - lots are free.

I don't know where you're looking for accommodation for 4k - we spent a full month in v central paris recently & the air b&b for a 3 bedroomed, 2 bathroom apartment was less than 6k so 4k for a week seems v high

Have a brilliant time!!

No I wouldn't do that. Save the money this year, go altogether next year.

Are you a single parent, OP? If the DC’s other parent lives with you I should think they might also feel left out.

I think if you had two kids that could work, but with 5 then you’ve got one seeing others going away every year for four years before getting near their turn. That’s just asking for resentment I think.

(and I’ve got 6 so it’s not a dig at big families)

Look at different types or holidays, lots of camping sites, places out of the way, how can 2 be £600 and all of you be ££££ doesn’t make sense.

They may “WANT” overseas holidays but maybe that is something that will have to wait till they are independent adults.

You are only a solid unit of 5 for a few more years so keep the UK holidays so you all spend time together

I would drop the UK holiday and spend that money on a trip to a city in Europe. You would be suprised at how many destinations is actually cheaper to travel to than UK, even with flights! Especially in the school holidays.

Also, if your kids are teens they can get a weekend or summer job to contribute to paying the cost? Starbucks, costa etc. hire teens all the time.

I wonder where you are looking as it really does not cost 4k to go to Istanbul. Also consider travelling further in UK to low cost airports like Stansted or going in term time. What you are suggesting seems the worst possible solution here. My DC would be very upset by this.

I would stick with the family holidays all together unless the dc actively don't want to go, they can explore the world themselves when they are a little older and have money of their own. Having said that I think you could holiday abroad for less than you have said. I am in split at the moment, apartment was less than 1k and not the cheapest one I saw, flights were about 150 each return. Eating out and excursions are expensive but you can do it on the cheap if necessary. We go to a different city every year, we have done Rome, Lisbon, and a couple of different cities in Spain in the last few years on a fairly tight budget.

It would be better to forgo holidays for a few years and then go away together. Much less chance for hurt feelings and the dc are getting the same number of holidays.

You say family of 5, so if I assume 2 parents then that's three kids, but maybe 4 - so you plan to pick one child to have a special weekend break with and expect the others to accept that on the grounds they might get a turn in a few years time (with no idea of what could happen to your family circumstances in the meantime that might impact that especially if the financial difficulties are ongoing) - total disaster in the making.

Honestly you can find trips cheaper than that. You can easily find a 7 day get away for £500pp if you book flights separately and then get Airbnb. I’m happy to help out to find a good deal if you want to DM me roughly the dates you’re after

Ah okay it's a complete no then! I did think it would be nice to get a few days one to one time with each kid. I would actually love that aspect to it though.

I was looking at 10 days as that's how long we usually go for in the UK. So the 4k was for flights and bed and breakfast accomodation in Istanbul. Is that not good?!

I haven't been abroad in absolutely years and don't even have a valid passport so I'm not sure if im researching in the right places. I was looking at booking.com are there any other sites that are better. I will try air BnB too.

I have done this loads!

I've taken my eldest (teen) to quite a few cheap European city breaks... we've done Porto, Barcelona, Budapest, krakow, Marrakesh, Rome all on a budget just me and him.

Recently took our middle one to Butlin's for a weekend with friends at the same time my DH took our youngest to Istanbul to visit his friend.

I'm also taking the younger two away just them for a week soon..

It's so bloody expensive to take all of us on holiday! We have done it but we always book as far in advance as possible (can sometimes book up to 18 months in advance with TUI depending on destination and where you book... for example booked October 2025 in April this year) then pay monthly for it so that may be another option.

I got a deal 11 nights Marrakesh AI for £1600 for me and two kids so only £100 per month to pay.