To feel left out?

[Teacherbee85]

Work night out last night. Feels like some of the team have got closer recently and I felt on the outskirts of the group.

I left feeling a bit flat.

Anyone experienced this before? I'd like to not mind but it's definitely niggling me. A bit like no-one would have noticed if I was there or not.

That’s sad, sorry you feel that way. Do you think it was deliberate or just something that’s come about organically? If the latter it might pass. Where I work there is a group of Love Island fans who are thick as thieves while it’s on then have less in common when it’s not.

Some people will always gel more naturally than others in any collective situation, and friendships/work relationships shift over time. Unless it was getting in the way of actual work, I wouldn’t be bothered, but I suppose if you’d like to retrieve a lost closeness (not clear if you used to be friends with some or all of these colleagues), propose doing something together?

Where do you derive the bulk of your social life? Work 'friends' or 'other' friends?
If the former, then you just have to ask them what the issue is, if you feel you are being side-lined.
If the latter, then fuck 'em - why should it bother you as you have an active social life that doesn't revolve around work mates

They definitely weren't deliberately excluding me just more excited about each other.

I don't know if anyone else would have noticed but I felt like I was on the outskirts rather than part of the gang and it made me feel a bit flat.

We do a lot socially together but I do have other friends too and I maybe just need to focus more on the others now.

I absolutely won't ask why I've been sidelined cause what's the point? I can't make people want to include me and I wouldn't want to force it.

Sorry you are going through this.

I feel 'on the edge of things' and a bit like I don't fit too well at my current workplace (a school).

It's rubbish and to be honest, I avoid work nights out because of it but I appreciate your situation is different.

If you are certain it wasn't deliberate, it may be a one off and just a bit of an over sight on their part. Maybe see how it goes next time. If the nights out become difficult, maybe just go to an odd one to show willing and avoid the others.

Fair enough! I would want to know just because I'd want to know before I told them to take a long walk off a short pier!

This is exactly how I think things are going to go. What's the point if I'm leaving feeling crap. I'd started to notice it the last couple of nights out if I'm honest so I don't think it's going to get better.

In work will be fine it's just adding alcohol that seems to bring it out.