Not to have swapped?

[Lucyloo223]

Two different colleagues have asked me to swap shifts coming up. I could have done both but one of them I want to keep free in case my family do something for my Dads birthday and the other if I swapped would mean I was working 6 days in a row includingsome 10 hour shifts. I've said no but AIBU as I could have done both of them. I'm a people pleaser and used to accommodating other people's needs even if it's at my own expense so trying to not do this so much anymore.

Not at all. You don’t need a reason - if you don’t want to swap then you don’t want to swap

That's fine - you had a possible family thing for one and I certainly wouldn't fancy 6 days straight including 10 hour shifts.

Good for you for thinking of your own wellbeing.

No, it's good to put yourself first. It's also good to say no. I'm a people pleaser so know how hard that is.

YANBU, unless they told you a very serious reason why they wanted to swap ("please, OP, can you take my shift tomorrow - my beloved infant daughter is terribly ill in hospital and I want to be there with her as she goes in for an operation and then again when she wakes up").

You don't need to inconvenience yourself to convenience others.

I'm a people pleaser too - or though I have found the last few years I have become lees so and it feels good!

I absolutely agree that you were right to say no - it doesn't even matter what the reasons are (but I know as people pleasers we can over-justify!)

I think it makes sense to say yes ( if it makes no difference to you either way) on occasions as it's a kind thing to do (if you like them) but also in case you need to ask the same of them sometime soon. That's how these things work I guess?

Just so long as you are really sure that you will never need to ask either of them to do a swap for you

I have swapped for them both before now.

10 hours a day for 6 days in a row?

Bollocks to that.

There must be other people they can ask, don’t worry.

Well done on asserting your boundaries. It will get easier each time.