Not to have swapped?

9 replies

Lucyloo223 · 08/06/2024 00:01

Two different colleagues have asked me to swap shifts coming up. I could have done both but one of them I want to keep free in case my family do something for my Dads birthday and the other if I swapped would mean I was working 6 days in a row includingsome 10 hour shifts. I've said no but AIBU as I could have done both of them. I'm a people pleaser and used to accommodating other people's needs even if it's at my own expense so trying to not do this so much anymore.

OP posts:

Whatyoutalkingabouteh · 08/06/2024 00:07

Not at all. You don’t need a reason - if you don’t want to swap then you don’t want to swap

DPotter · 08/06/2024 00:23

That's fine - you had a possible family thing for one and I certainly wouldn't fancy 6 days straight including 10 hour shifts.

Good for you for thinking of your own wellbeing.

thegrassisgreeeen · 08/06/2024 00:24

No, it's good to put yourself first. It's also good to say no. I'm a people pleaser so know how hard that is.

Precipice · 08/06/2024 00:29

YANBU, unless they told you a very serious reason why they wanted to swap ("please, OP, can you take my shift tomorrow - my beloved infant daughter is terribly ill in hospital and I want to be there with her as she goes in for an operation and then again when she wakes up").

You don't need to inconvenience yourself to convenience others.

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 08/06/2024 00:34

I'm a people pleaser too - or though I have found the last few years I have become lees so and it feels good!

I absolutely agree that you were right to say no - it doesn't even matter what the reasons are (but I know as people pleasers we can over-justify!)

I think it makes sense to say yes ( if it makes no difference to you either way) on occasions as it's a kind thing to do (if you like them) but also in case you need to ask the same of them sometime soon. That's how these things work I guess?

Notthatcatagain · 08/06/2024 00:34

Just so long as you are really sure that you will never need to ask either of them to do a swap for you

Original poster

Lucyloo223 · 08/06/2024 00:36

Notthatcatagain · 08/06/2024 00:34

Just so long as you are really sure that you will never need to ask either of them to do a swap for you

I have swapped for them both before now.

OP posts:

FatAndFiftySomething · 08/06/2024 01:53

10 hours a day for 6 days in a row?

Bollocks to that.

There must be other people they can ask, don’t worry.

LadyMinerva · 08/06/2024 01:55

Well done on asserting your boundaries. It will get easier each time.

Flip