Is it rude to leave a wedding before the end?

[ToxicChristmas]

I've had mixed opinions on this, but do you think it's acceptable to leave a (full invite) wedding before the midnight end or would you stick it out? Would it be OK to leave around 10? Wedding is at 1.30pm. Would anyone even really notice?

Yeah this. ^ When and why did that start?! Never used to be this way. Used to turn up at the local Church or registry office for the wedding 1pm, then leave at 2pm for the reception a 10 minute walk away, (that finished at 4pm.)

Then people would pop home for a few hours, and there would be a 'night do' from 7pm til 11pm-ish, at the local Parish Hall - within 20 minutes walk - or a 5 minute drive from where everyone invited lived.

OR the wedding would start at 4pm, the reception would be at 5pm to 7pm, then the night do would start and go on til 11pm or midnight. Again, at a Church or registry office, and venue that was striking distance from everyone invited.

Most people lived close to each other, and families weren't fractured and dispersed all across the country. And everyone's friends would be close by too. My friend's niece invited 15 friends to her 12 hour wedding in 2022, and they came from 7 different parts of the UK - Only 3 were within 20 miles. Other 12 were 50-200 miles away, and had to stay overnight.

I swear you could not even go and then just say after it was a great day and if it was busy people would never know 🙈 The one thing I’d always say not to do, is to go up and say bye to the bride and groom. I don’t even think people should do this at the end of the night really. We had to run out of a wedding recently but I said if we were to wait it would end up a situation of having to form a queue to each say bye to them. If people just nip out when they’re leaving early it stops them having to wonder if there’s a reason they’re leaving early and stops their night just being full of goodbyes one after another when they’re trying to enjoy themselves

I think perhaps I feel a bit worried about it as I've not been well. It's knocked my confidence and I don't know loads of people going. The thought of making small talk with people I barely know for ten plus hours is a bit daunting. Especially as I know there will be long periods with not a huge amount to do other than drink (as with most weddings and I can't drink!). The site is very countryside based so maybe I can go for a little stroll in the grounds while photos are bring done etc.

For the most part in recent years we let the couple know we'll attend the ceremony but nothing afterward.

We get to dress up, mingle, wish them well, etc. without the 12 hour marathon. Often, seeing as we're nicely dressed, we head off for our own romantic dinner. Or join forces with others for a few quick drinks before heading home without sacrificing half the weekend.

None of that standing around/killing time for us.

This used to be the case when the bride and groom had a send off and left for their honey moon before the end of the wedding. Since most brides and grooms now stay until the very end of the wedding the etiquette is no longer applicable.

Definitely not weird! I didn’t mind at all when some guests told me they were leaving, j was glad they celebrated wit on me and was part of our special day. All that was left was dancing and partying so they stayed for the important part which meant the most.

A family member left just after my ceremony as they were previously unwell. I thanked them for coming and genuinely meant it. Was not annoyed when they left quickly.

Some people did this at our DD's wedding, even before the bride and groom left. Nobody minded.

One of our older friends organised a huge ‘landmark’ birthday party ( posh venue, caterers, band) for the same day as our wedding. We didn’t realise till our mutual invitations went out. So half our guests left early to get to his shindig. Fine by us, I’m only sorry I missed it.

Not rude but if there are more than 60 people there, don’t interrupt the v&a to say goodbye - imagine spending the whole of your wedding having to say hello/ goodbye! Just do a neat French exit, and send a note afterwards.

V&a?!! B&G

Wasn't that back in the day when the couple left the wedding breakfast to start their honeymoon, and before evening dos became a thing?

Yes, when the marrying couple left ASAP because they were excited to be alone on honeymoon.

Now they stay until late at night, and have to accept that others need to depart.