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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed with my MIL (sorry another mil thread!)

13 replies

Julezboo · 07/04/2008 10:14

Ok so my MIL is nanny to our best friends children through the week. Sat night friends invited us over and MIL babysat for us. She said she needed to be back to her room in shared house early sunday because she had stuff to do. Which is fair enough.

Now this room in shared house I tried to put her off it, told her she would hate sharing with 6 other stranger, sharing a bathroom with them etc... and she should hold out for something better/own flat.

Anyway yesterday morning we dropped her off near her shared room, she said she needed to go into town, i asked her was there anything we could help with, she said no. We nipped to tesco which is right in town. Both me and DP had our mobiles on us.

Get home and my friend texts, mil had rung them and told them she had tried ringing us and couldnt get hold of us and could they take her to view another room in the next town along.

I couldnt believe she'd doen it tbh, she works for my friends, they both work full time so their weekend are spent with their kids, relaxing, doing stuff they cant do in the week. I went and took her because i thought it was wrong she had asked them and lied to them! Friend came along because she felt obliged to I assume, but I am so annoyed with her.

She didnt ring our mobiles (We had no missed calls, even if we have no signal she usually leaves a snotty message) She said she rung the house phone but we had no missed calls on that either.

Ive told DP he needs to speak to her before she starts pissing our friends off and it causes friction with us, like she does with everyone else, but he says shes not her responsibilty.

I didnt get chance to be alone with her yesterday or i would have asked why she didnt ring us and lied to our friends about not being able to get hold of us. Plus shes gonna keep moving round to all these different bloody room shares and each time she does it its us that has to move her!!!

OP posts:
nametaken · 07/04/2008 10:23

I don't understand why your so upset, sorry but I think YABU.

Your MIL wanted a favour, she asked a friend of yous to do it, friend did it, what on earths the problem.

Your boyfriends mother isn't your MIL - she's your boyfriends mother

TurkeyLurkey · 07/04/2008 10:32

I can see why you're a bit cheesed off with her for phoning your friend. Why would your MIL do this and then lie about trying to ring you though? Do you think she know's you're not keen on her (I'm guessing this from your post so correct me if I'm wrong) and doesn't want to piss you off by asking for lifts to places? Perhaps she doesn't want to annoy you any further?

Dropdeadfred · 07/04/2008 10:34

Perhaps she thought youd say 'i told you so'...?

WigWamBam · 07/04/2008 10:36

I think Fred has it ...

edam · 07/04/2008 10:36

It's up to your MIL to decide who she asks for favours. And to manage her relationship with her employers. Really is none of your business. I know it's easy for you to get involved since they are your friends, but you need to stay out of it.

There are usually complaints about interfering MILs but I think you are straying into being an interfering DIL, I'm afraid!

Julezboo · 07/04/2008 12:42

Friends where utterly pissed off though, I could tell. The fact that ten mins before she rang them we had offered to drive her where she needed to go etc...

Just think shes making us look bad by saying she couldnt get hold of us when she clearly could.

We are just worried she will alienate herself with them, lose her job and end up back with us, so I guess I am BU a little bit, its just the way she did it. Friends had plans to do something with their kids which they had to drop because she went on about it being so urgent she needed to be there asap...

OP posts:
TenaciousG · 07/04/2008 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trolleydolly71 · 07/04/2008 23:33

Message withdrawn

Quattrocento · 07/04/2008 23:34

"Just think shes making us look bad by saying she couldnt get hold of us when she clearly could."

How exactly does it make you look bad? I don't think it does at all. I think you are being a bit unfair and a bit unkind to your MIL.

MissPaulaYates · 07/04/2008 23:50

agree with tenacious boyfriends mother/mother in law no difference

Flibbertyjibbet · 07/04/2008 23:53

Mmmm yes, agree with tenacious.

'boyfriends mother' has a nice friendly warm motherly feel to it.

Mine is definitely a MIL in the true mumsnet moaning and wingeing MIL thread sense of the word

2point4kids · 08/04/2008 12:27

She probably couldnt be bothered with the 'i told you so' from you, as you clearly state that you dispprove of her moving in to shared house.
I think its up to her if she chooses to ask her employers for a favour rather than you, and its up to them whether they say yes or no.

Broodybabywannabe · 15/04/2008 12:29

name taken - what was the point in the comment re inlaws?? i consider my DPs relitives my in-laws, are the ties that bind not so strong because i dont have a ring and a signed piece of paper? how derogatory!

julezboo YANBU but perhaps as others have said she was a little embarrassed?

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