At the end of my tether!

[BunnyLily]

I need some words of encouragement really! So I work at a GP surgery and have done for 4yrs on reception. Love my job although it’s hard at times dealing with patients. Most are lovely. I get on with everyone and enjoy going into work. Anyway I had my 1-1 with the assistant manager and all was rosy she went on about how good I was and how well the staff like me. I like this manager, one I had before was nit picky and not well liked. Anyway I came away feeling chuffed and happy. I’ve just started studying what I’ve been meaning to do for years. Love the course. Just out of a crap relationship but things are starting to come together - my life has been turbulent in most parts to say the least.
Anyway, on my day off I check my emails and I have one from my manager saying that she needs feedback on a couple of things the staff have mentioned about me… naming 3 people and what I was supposed to have done wrong. Like I said I’ve always got on with everyone and it’s reallly annoyed me that they didn’t come to me and ask but went to the manager. The way she put it in the email was horrible too, wanting a response by such and such a date and an answer in 3 parts. I’ve not done what I was accused of as far as I can remember- but I’ve said if I have done what they say then I’m sorry and I’ll try and rectify it. The other point was I asked for help from a certain person via email but they didn’t like the fact that I asked them even though they were the correct team! It’s all really petty but I’m made to feel like perhaps people don’t really like me and they want to have a dig for no reason! I have to work with these people! The manager that sent me the message has had run ins in the past with staff and they have left. I really gave her the benefit of the doubt and thought she was nice. Also there is no one else higher I can really talk to. There is a business manager but she is not really there to cover my position. AIBU?

E mails are always difficult because everyone reads and interprets them in a different way. What I might type may seem reasonable to me but upset the receiver because there is no context or clumsy use of language. I think if i were you I would ask to see your manager face to face as soon as you are back at work. I’m not sure that sending you an e mail was a great way of communicating by your manager, but they may have assumed (wrongly in my view) it was better as you were on leave rather than leave it until you were back, and your temptation will be to get defensive in the way you write a reply.

I would send her a response along the lines of : thank you for sharing the feedback you have received from some of my co-workers. As soon as I am back to work on ……….. please could we have a face to face catch up to discuss. Don’t include any rebuttals or defence. As a manager they really should address this face to face so the proper context can be shared and discussion can be held and any miscommunication avoided.

Yes, thanks for your reply. You’re right, get what you’re saying as txts can be interpreted differently too. I went in and was hoping to see her to catch up but she was in a meeting all day. It might have been that she had asked them if they had any concerns, rather than them bringing it up. It just seemed so harsh after a good 1-1.