If someone offered to pay for private schooling, would you take up the offer?

[janiesmith10]

If someone offered to pay for private schooling - primary and secondary - would you take up the offer? Freely paid for. No strings attached.

I suppose what OP is asking is whether we agree with the principle - but it depends. If your kid is being relentlessly bullied at the local state school, you know he could do ok if he had a smaller class and an easier environment - would you really send him in day after day to be beaten and humiliated? For seven years????

But if it's just a question of "My DS is bright confident attractive and I want him to mix with kids of all types" - and the local school is an easy journey and not full of danger. Of course you could say no.

And the virtue signallers who condemn others for making a choice they wouldn't still put down the best school as their first choice, or move house to have "good schools", - because we ALL want the best possible chances for our children.

So it's a silly question really because the choice will always depend on the schools, the children and the individual circumstances.

Well they are only mixing with people who are wealthy enough to attend private school. That's not a rounded understanding of society.

No not in my area because we have good state schools and neither DC are struggling.
But if they were in a poor school then yes probably

Yes. PP saying nonsuch thing as no strings attached. This is a just a made up scenario and as such, in this instance, it would have no strings attached to the offer.

Plenty of people who could afford to send their children to private school choose not to. Plenty of people transfer from one system to the other depending on which is the better fit. Several of DD's classmates used to go to independent schools. As far as I know, there is nobody with billionaire parents at my DC's school. But let's face it, they wouldn't be sending their children to the local independent school either.

Having attended private school myself I would say no. There are so many better things that kind of money can be invested in, even if it just goes into a trust for the child for when they are older. Particularly for a property deposit in the future.

Nor do you get a rounded understanding of society if your class is full of bullies from homes where education is not respected, where none of the kids have books in the house, where most of the kids can't be arsed to attend, where none of the kids has any idea about literature, politics, business, the world around them.
This world isn't more virtuous because it's not rich.

My PILS did
We said no
It is a matter of principle to me
They all did great at school anyway

No.

If I could find a private secondary option that suited my adhd/autistic lad then absolutely, I'm so worried with how he's going to manage high school and navigate new friendships now he's older and the differences between him and the other boys his age are much more obvious. If there was a school full of kids like him where he would fit in without being bullied I would absolutely put him in, but I'm not sure they exist outside of special schools which he's too high functioning for

100%

Maybe. My children aren’t school age yet. The state primary school is so close and it’d be so far to get to private schools. I think it matters more for secondary school. Is this going to lead to a further question? With the VAT issue I’m wondering what you’re getting at. Is it about whether people would refuse it on principle?

Well they are only mixing with people who are wealthy enough to attend private school. That's not a rounded understanding of society.

I went to a state school in one of the roughest cities in north England. I know a lot about social diversity. I can quite honestly say that mixing with my school friends from different backgrounds has had very little impact on my life experiences.

Education in later life, travel and living abroad yes. The people I met at school, not really.

Probably not in our current circumstances. Ds1 is at a good state grammar and ds2 a lovely primary, and should make it to the grammar as well. If we didn’t have good state schools, then definitely.

Is that really what you think all state schools are like? And all private schools are the opposite?

Schools like Winchester, Westminster, St Paul's or Wickham Abbey are yes, predominantly well off people with the finances fit fancy holidays and ponies. The vast majority of private day schools however are populated with upper, middle and lower middle class families who have 2 working parents or single parents who scrimp and save to send their dc to the school. Many take camping holidays and simple holidays to Spain or Portugal staying in decent but not luxury hotels. No ponies or private jets or massive estates. Semi's, terraced and detached houses. Parents are teachers, doctors, IT specialists, insurance brokers, small business owners.

So not many council estates but lots of modest lifestyles

No, to be exposed to that level of entitlement and so disconnected from the real world is not what I would want for my kids.

No because my children are settled in school.

If they were unhappy with school then yes, I'd consider it. Or for the youngest who hasn't started school yet. However I'd need to be very sure it would be covered all the way through. I don't think it's fair to make them change schools without a good reason.

No - what I am saying is you cannot say that a particular choice is rounded.

There is virtue signalling and prejudice on both sides when really we'd all do what it took to give our kids the best..

Maybe some classes in some state schools are like that - just read the threads about bullying on here. But OF COURSE not the majority.

Just as some classes in some private schools are full of stuck-up, pony-riding, billionaire spoilt brat bullies. But NOT the majority. But prejudice is hard to shift. That's the point.

OK, but you are diverging/ extrapolating from my post, which was simply in response to someone who couldn't understand why another poster said their child's private education was not well rounded.

I simply pointed out that the reason it wasn't well rounded was because they are only mixing with a wealthy subset of society.

Which you agree with.

No way

My DCs are grown up now but I have extensive experience of both the independent sector and the state sector one was educated in both one went to independent schools from 7 including Ritchie Sunacks alma mater. I’ve also worked extensively in both sectors. Paying buys you choice you can look for a school that you think has an ethos that will suit you and your DC. The relatively small handful of top schools with matching huge fees also inevitably provide opportunities and facilities that no state school can ever offer. But IME it’s not a done deal that your child will be happier or do better in terms of exams. I also personally don’t believe that either has a monopoly on good/bad teaching and trust me spoon feeding to pass exams unsurprisingly takes place in both sectors.
If and it’s a big if because independent schools have become increasingly homogenised over the last 10-15 years you can find an independent school that you feel really suits you and your child and offers things that you’re child loves that are not found in the sector then your child would hopefully emerge from the independent sector having received a more rounded education and some may feel that this is worth the expenditure.
Lastlt the idea frequently peddled on here that children educated in the state sector are more rounded and able to mix with everyone is IMO born out of prejudice not fact. Through work I’ve met children from all background from the children of heredity peers and Sunday Times rich listers through to children from the most deprived backgrounds, there are dysfunctional children/adults from both, many children from the top schools are as capable of mixing with people from all backgrounds as are children from deprived backgrounds and many from both backgrounds are not and sadly some from both are unpleasant arrogant shits. As one teaching friend wisely said to me “nice parents produce nice kids, unpleasant parents produce unpleasant kids”
So to answer the question assuming my DCs were children and I could find the right school with an ethos I liked and thought it would suit my DCs and there were opportunities on offer that the state sector couldn’t offer and it’s wasn’t a 6 hours drive away yes I’d take it because I think my DC’s would be happier.

No for many reasons including: If it were selective rather than just fee paying it would not suit my DC as she's just not the highly motivated academic type; she has SEN and IME a selective school is not set up to meet her needs.

If your kid is being relentlessly bullied at the local state school, you know he could do ok if he had a smaller class and an easier environment - would you reallysend him in day after day to be beaten and humiliated? For seven years????

Why would you assume your child is less likely to be bullied in the private sector? I was privately educated and I can assure you, bullying can and does happen in private schools!

If my child was being bullied and the school did not deal with it effectively then I would definitely consider moving them, but that doesn't necessarily mean moving them to a private school.

No