to expect people to be civil to the young

[sixlostmonkeys]

My ds has been doing a paper round since January - up at 6am every morning and going out in all weathers. I help him do it (for a number of reasons; it's a long round, it's fun doing it together, I want him to be safe etc etc)

Now, most of the people he delivers to are lovely. Some come to the door and give him a treat or simply say something nice but.... he had one guy who stood at the window pointing to his watch and shaking his head (it was 7.10am) This really got my back up. Would he do the same to 'men' in his office or does he just pick on young boys? The following week his nasty dog stuck its head through the catflap and nearly got ds's leg. This scared ds and he came to me. I went back with the paper and discovered the guy had let the dog out. I mean!!!!!! Is that the solution? Dog scares child so you let it out?! The guy obviously had no idea it would me that that went back with the paper so what was his intention? Anyway, I told the shop we wouldn't be delivering there anymore.

This morning, I went to a house that ds normally does. As I started to feed the paper through she opened the door. I smiled and said 'good morning' and she growled "It's a good job we don't have to leave for work isn't it?!" (She is a retired GP) She wouldn't have known it would be me that was standing there so had she prepared this speech for ds? Oh, it was 7.20am.

I'm still shaking my head at this. I accept that some people are just nasty, bitter people but i can't help but look at the bigger picture. Is it acceptable to bully young kids who have taken on the responsibility at a young age and are out there early in the morning in all weathers, learning about 'earning their money' or is it acceptable to view this as a service that isn't meeting your expectations?

Am I being unreasonable to expect people to view these children as good responsible kids who are trying very hard and will be the future workers,.... and be nice to them, treat them with the respect they deserve?

YANBU. Would they do the same to their postmen? Their bin men? All of whom might arrive at a slightly different time each day.

However, there is also the view that young people like your ds also have to learn that there are simply some unpleasant buggers around that you just have to grit your teeth and deal with.

I agree. Delivering papers is hard work, as hard as any adult job and should be deserving of respect. More so since in most cases the child doesn't have to do it.

I don't think you are being unreasonable - some people are just truly horrible

fluffyanimal - I too was thinking that this morning. He will have to learn that there are unpleasant people, especially in the work environment. I'm just worrying that experiences such as these may pray on his mind and affect his choices in future careers - does that make sense?

Deffo......how are youngsters going to learn good manners and behaviour, and respect for society if they're on the receiving end of examples like these.
One of the worst things i ever saw was an old woman carrying a heavy suitcase up the big set of steps at Crewe train station.
Two black teenagers approached her and asked if they could help her.....she was struggling a bit
the response "no, yer can't, yer bloody ng-ngs!"
to their credit, they just help their hands up and backed off, and i was torn between telling her how rude she was and letting them deal with itby taking the moral upper hand, as it were.
no wonder you see such low level bad behaviour and thuggery these days, cos the young are damned if they do and damned if they don't....there's no "reward", no incentive

YANBU - in an ideal world we would all be nice and pleasant to one another.

This will be good practice for your sons adult life. Tell him to ignore nasty comments and to mentally picture himself throwing a big bucket of water over the comment and washing it away. Odd but works for me

and yes, I agree, there is definately an element of bullying to it.

How old is your ds?

What time are they expecting their papers to be delivered then? They sound unreasonably nasty to me.

They sound horrid. But agree, sadly your ds is going to learn that there are rude and unreasonable people in this world. And he's getting some practice in handling them. Maybe you could have a chat about it?

My paperboy lives round the corner from me, if im decently dressed i sometimes walk down to the gate and get the paper or if hes still in the garden when i open the door i always say thanks. I also put a couple of quid in his christmas card too!

yanbu
they are lucky to have a paper boy who comes at a reasonable hour. ours is fine school days but saturdays and non school days the lazy darling boy has to have a lie in and comes rather late. not mush good when dh needs the paper to check for a job.

Weekdays, the paper boys/girls arrive at the shop 6.30 onwards - the idea being that they deliver them at a time that means they can then get to school on time.
The papers are delivered to the shop and the shop owner brings them in at 6am. They then have to be sorted.
On Saturday and Sunday the papers take a lot longer which I think not many people appreciate. Just sorting them takes a long time. All weekend papers have supplements, the Telegraph for eg can have 5 supplements. These all have to be placed in each paper before the rounds can even be sorted. Because of all the supplements the stack of papers for each round can be 4/5 times as big as weekdays (plus some people just have a paper delivered on a weekend so the rounds are bigger) The paper boys/girls can only carry so many papers so they have to go back to the shop maybe 3 or 4 times to collect the next batch. As the rounds are spread over a long distance you can appreciate just how much leg/cycle work this involves.
There is no point in the paper boys/girls arriving at the shop at 6.30 on a weekend as the papers simply would not be ready for them, so really that extra lie-in they have may not be down to laziness
As for school holidays, they are still encouraged to start the round at 7.30 and the way I see it (maybe IABU here?) is that considering they deliver papers 364 days a year, perhaps they are entitled to that extra hour in lieu of holidays/bank holidays?

My next piece on paper-rounds will be entitled - 'the importance for the country to have large letter boxes and house numbers clearly displayed'

How very unpleasant they sound. Letting his dog loose! And the old bag preparing to lecture him on his delivery times!

I did a paper round once and people sometimes moaned at me. I didn't care much - the bloody round was up hill and down dale and took as long as it took (though I did enjoy doing it). I used to think if they needed it earlier - before 7.30, that is - they could get themselves out of bed and fetch the sodding thing themselves.

They should not disrespect your hard-working ds. grrr

Aren't people horrible! I did an Avon Round when DS was a baby and on the most part people were nice, but on the other they were just plain rude!

I didn't expect everyone to place an order, and I wrote a note in each brochure to explain that if they didn't want the book for any reason to let me know and I wouldn't bother them again, and also to say what day I would be picking up, so to leave it on the doorstep please... I had a lady accost me in the street saying that she had 6 of my books cluttering up her porch, so I asked her to leave them outside and she huffed and puffed.... I also had a lady come to the door and shove it in my hand and say 'when will you get the picture, I don't want to buy anythig, please stop leaving this!' (she had always left the book on her doorstep on the right day, no note, am I suppose to be a mind reader?) I'd been delivering for 12 months!!!!!!

I suppose I'm just trying to say that some people are just rude no matter how old the person is they are being rude to! It's sad really!

Is it just aimed at children? Somebody posted that they had yelled at a late Tesco delivery driver theother day.

so many people are horrible to children these days, it's just depressing. These people need to be told they are horrible. Your poor ds, . Children need to learn that people are nice and generous and the world is a good place. although i do think dogs should be banned

dogs and old people

blimey, if we got our paper on the day it was due it would be a start!!

It's printed on a Thurs and we usually get it Friday evening - I thought that was good!

YANBU - you should note all these addresses and not deliver to them; if they are that upset about a 7am newspaper, they can get it themselves.

Then again it sounds like your 2 examples weren't actually directed at your DS but more the time of delivery. So perhaps they were expecting their papers earlier?

I used to collect envelopes for Christian Aid when I was a lot younger and people were very rude then- that was over 25 years ago.

YANBU its hard work delivering papers in all weathers. He sounds like a bully. The retired GP.. glad she wasn't my doctor. good luck to you & your son whilst he continues to do his paper round.Here's hoping that people like these two are few & far between.

Reading this and thinking about it more I guess there is a balance. Yes, these people probably have a go at adults too (tho I'd love to know of the dog guy would be brave enough to do the same to a man - I know my ds's Grandad wanted to go to his house and find out he's 74 bless him (Grandad, not the nasty man who's about 45)

On balance, as I mentioned in the first post, there are some lovely people. One morning, the day after our cat was killed, my ds was really really low, and one of the lovely couples came to the door to greet him and gave him a kit-kat. My ds walked towards me with a smile on his face, the gesture made him so happy, and I just wanted to go and hug that couple. They obviously didn't know how sad my ds was, and how timely their niceness was, but it makes you think.....just how important our behavior, however brief, can have an effect on another person's day.

shame for your son. I notice this a lot too, eg if I ask one of my dss to eg go to pay for something (they like doing jobs, they're 7 & 8) just last weekend ds2 was returning a glass with a deposit on it. dh told him when you're just returning you just need to go to the front, not queue up. ds duly did this and a man queuing up shouted at him, as did the man serving . So dh took it up, walked to the front and got his deposit back without a word. poor ds was in tears and reall yhad his confidence shaken SO no, they don't necessarily do it to adults. And also queue jumping and pushing in front, just cos they're little. I've lost count of how many times I've had to explain that grown ups can be rude and ignorant too

poor little sausages. yet these same people I bet are the 1st ones to moan on about how 'the youth of today zzzzzzz'

Did your 2 meanies happen to read the DM? Lovely for ds to get the timely kit kat tho. I got sod all when I did a paper round, except get mistaken for a boys, of course