Bedtime for eight month old.

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I vowed to myself a kid I’d never do what my parents ‘did’ to me about bedtime. I’d have anxiety in the evenings as I hated bedtime. I’d feel I’d be abandoned, crying in my room or on the landing for hours. I’d quite often still be awake when my dad went to bed after the news. It definitely felt like I was sent to bed for their benefit than mine and I knew that then. My parents were good in many ways but now hearing some parenting advice from my mum, it’s making sense why I have attachment issues towards her.

But, I don’t want to go too far the other way either. I want my kids to know boundaries and to go grow up to be decent members of society.

I’ve done some googling and bedtimes are said to be a positive. However, is that only if they go to sleep at that time? DD is only eight months but if I start bedtime at say 6:30 every night, she doesn’t go to sleep any earlier than when I just nappy change/wash face/last feed when she shows signs for being tired. For me I prefer the latter, as trying to settle her in her cot when she just wants to play gets her worked up, involves tears and it’s just a stressful process for both of us. We read books and have bath during the day. When I have tried switching to a formal bedtime with bath,book, bed, it feels rushed and a box ticking exercise. But, waiting until she’s tired to put her to bed makes me feel like I’m being lazy and I’m going against all advice.

My 10m old goes at about 8.45 and always has - she just slots into our evening. She just won’t settle before then so I don’t see the point wasting my evening stressing about it. My friends 9m old goes at 6.45. I would just do what works for you and your baby - it will change over time. My 3yo goes to bed at 7.30 and up at 6.30 like clockwork and she always had a late bedtime as a baby.

I've never had the whole bath, book, bed thing as my little one in the first year just fought going to sleep. So I'd wait for his cues like you do and then give him his bottle and rock him to sleep at that age. I don't care if people think I did it wrong. It's what worked for me and you just do what works for you. Thankfully now he's 20mo so I just give him his bottle and pop him in bed and he settles himself now. Honestly, don't let others ideas of the right way mess up your routine if it's working. You're not lazy, you're doing the best you can and it's obviously working 😊

Oh and my little one goes to bed at 5:30 and gets up at 5:30 and sleeps through mostly

6pm here

At 8 months it's going to be a bit flexible and changeable.

What 'works' one week might be different the week after. It's very light at night at the mo as well - we use blackout curtains which help.

We tended to do the 'no proper naps after 3 ish' and then feed, play, bath maybe another little feed and cuddle and then into bed'. There would be tears for 15 mins max (sometimes none - just a bit of wingeing) and then 6/7/8 hours of peace.

I'd not be afraid to say that my 4 were definitely put to bed on routine at 6 or 7 o'clock for my benefit - especially in the pre school years 😂 I need a good bit of down time to function well the next day and not be snappy with the DCs.

Honestly kids still running round the house at 8 or 9 drives me potty.