Is this how life will be forever now?

[Bananasponge]

I live my life constantly worried about my son dying or something terrible happening to him. I have so many intrusive thoughts about this, it’s really getting to me.

People say you never really stop worrying about your child/children. It doesn’t help that he’s an only child so I’m afraid if something awful happens, I’ll have nothing to carry on living for.
I can’t stand the rest of my life like this.

I’m really sorry to hear you are feeling like this and having such intrusive thoughts. Do you have anyone in real life to talk to and support you?

I would advise speaking to your GP or health visitor either way. CBT can be really helpful. You don’t have to live your life like this. How old is your son?

He’s 5 years old.

I think it is quite common especially for mothers. It’s your instinct on hyper alert.

It does sound like you need some assistance with this - are you and his dad together? Do you have a good GP?

I don't have anything helpful to add but I just want to say you are not alone.
My DD is an only child, she's 6 and I sometimes have vivid thoughts about something bad happening to her.
I don't think it's that unusual.

Maybe look into cbt.

It’s great that you’ve been able to say how you are feeling and struggling on here. That’s your first step and sometimes the hardest. Please think about making an appointment to speak to your GP, I promise this is something they will be able to support you with - and refer you to the right places who can help you. Is your sons dad around? Or friends, family who you could also speak with?

How old is your son? If hes brand new its understandable. I had this from when mine was born but it went away gradually. He's ten months now and still have some for sure. Intrusive mum thoughts are the worst, I'm actually up now when I really should be sleeping as he's up alot in the night still, imagining stupid scenarios of how I'd stop someone stealing him in a museum (was at one today😅). Terrible spiralling when you have a tired brain too.

I had heard the "having a baby is like having your heart outside your body thing" and found it very cliche before having a child but that's just what it's like. The emotional burden of being a mum, for your own sake try and put some mental of physical measures in place to try and curtail intrusive thoughts if you can, a distraction.

Are you generally quite anxious? While I don't think it's unusual to feel and worry the way you do, I think you should mention it to your GP (if you can manage to get an appointment!). The fact you're yourself saying the thoughts are intrusive indicates they're really affecting you. So please go see someone about it - you must be utterly exhausted

No, this isn’t normal OP. It sounds miserable. Please get some MH help.

Get yourself some Bush Flower Herbal drops from a health shop. White Chestnut is good for intrusive thoughts and Bach Rescue Remedy will help with anxiety.

I think you need some support. I don't think it is normal.Fleeting distressing thoughts yes, persistent intrusive thoughts no. Others have suggested GP/CBT - very sensible in my opinion.
No it doesn't have to be like this from here on in. Best of luck x

When my baby was born, I was convinced that he wouldn't live long enough to take him home, had been right through my pregnancy. He's 40 next birthday and I worry much less. Just so long as he doesn't ride his bike, drive, go climbing or sailing, catch a cold. I am now able to tuck the thoughts into the back of my mind because I do realise that most of the disasters I foresee are highly unlikely. Its not nice though.

You're definitely not alone. I have always had a fear of my daughters being kidnapped, which only grew as they got older. It came to a head a few years ago when the eldest was about 14, and starting to go a bit further afield on her own.

I spoke to my GP, who referred me for CBT. It was honestly life changing. I still worry (of course!), but I don't fixate on the worry like I used to. I'd really recommend it, and even if you think it's not for you, give it a try and really throw yourself into it. I thought "there's no way this is going to change how much time I spend panicking or how completely out-of-control my anxiety gets", but I was at the stage where I had to do something - I really felt I couldn't continue as I was. I told myself I was going to try my best at everything the Therapist asked me to do, to think carefully about the exercises and homework, and be totally honest with her. It made such a difference for me, and I know it's done wonders for others too.

My DDs are now 15 and 17, and have busy social lives. I'm still 'that Mum' who does all the taxiing groups of teenagers home from late night parties (which I secretly love, and I know all their friends parents love me for!), and we made having the Life360 tracking app on their phones a non-negotiable of us paying for them - I find it so reassuring being able to watch a little avatar of them walking home if they're on their own (yes, I am a stalker, but at least I'm not tearing my hair out with worry, or texting them every 30 seconds)!

I do think this is quite common from people I’ve spoken to. I too used to think in this way but now my children are in their mid to late teens, I don’t think about this any more. I feel the responsibility on me is lessening and they are forming their own lives and choices now. I feel it’s a normal part of protecting your child growing up.

I can empathise with this, and have myself gotten very carried away with such hideous thoughts before. But it sounds like it's getting a bit out of control for you, and I would echo the suggestion of getting some help, maybe through talking therapy. I can also recommend the book 'Mind over Mother' by Anna Mathur.

Finally, a useful phrase I find in these situations is 'don't borrow grief'.

I’ve got strangely fixated on brain cancer for some reason as I’ve seen quite a few videos/posts on social media of children being diagnosed with it lately. So I’m terrified this is a premonition, even typing it makes me panicky.

I think social media has a lot to do with it. It makes you feel like it's much more common than you think when you see these posts frequently. In reality, people are usually posting about it because it's such a rare and unlucky event, and also, if you hover, pause over or in any way engage with a post, the algorithm is going to keep throwing you similar posts. I have had to go through my social media accounts and block posts with key phrases/hashtags like this (#childhoodcancer #childloss etc), because seeing it all the time makes me more anxious.

I’m the same! I don’t really drink now because I’m on taxi duty and I enjoy it. I like hearing all the gossip and making sure my DD and her friends get home safely.

Snap! I haven't had a drink in more than 10 years - you can guarantee the one time I did would be the time there was an emergency and I was required 20 miles away at 3am!

We had 6 teens sleeping over last night, I love that they all feel comfortable to come to our home - and like you, I love hearing all the gossip!

The worry is constant for my children but when it tips into ruining your daily life, no it's not normal. Please speak to your GP, life doesn't have to be this way.

Oh I love this!!

So glad to hear that there are other parents like me. And yes I’ve had one or two emergencies when I’ve been able and willing to respond quickly.