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Cried on a friend - feel embarrassed

5 replies

Babysharkdodododododoo · 06/06/2024 21:18

Not literally on them but in front. Used to be close friends with her but she went quiet and distant for no reason.
Well clearly there was a reason. It wasn't just a natural drifting apart, it was a friend who used to go out of her way to message me most days,then becoming someone who would only respond to me if I replied first.

She texted me for my birthday so I thought maybe it was just in my head. I tried to keep the friendship going but when she ignored a few of my messages, I knew it was time to move on. She'd also stopped initiating.

If I saw her in person she was friendly and chatty but I felt she was just pretending to be polite.

Anyway I just stopped talking and moved on, I still see her around about once a week because of a shared hobby/friend group so it's tough.

We never fell out, I really can't think of anything offensive I did, she just didn't need me anymore.

I saw her on her own at the end of the hobby and she came over. I was being distant, which I've never been before and she said she was sorry she'd been so crap at replying.

She indicated she'd been like that with everyone and just kept forgetting and that it really wasn't intentional. I ended up getting a bit teary and just explained how I felt.
She promised me it wasn't deliberate. I think it is but I knew I just had to let it go and give her the benefit of the doubt so I told her it was ok. She told me she'd try to make more effort.

I've not heard from her since, if I do see her I'll be polite. It happens, people come and go. People can drop you at any minute which is sad, I feel like an idiot for crying though.

OP posts:
Babysharkdodododododoo · 06/06/2024 21:25

I did previously try just giving her space to see if she'd come back but sadly she didn't. It's life, just hope it won't happen too many more times.

OP posts:
Mermaidsarereal · 07/06/2024 07:02

It's such an awful feeling, it's happened to me too with a really good friend from school. I felt I was making all of the effort to invite her out and ask how she was, she kept declining my invites and her messages got shorter. The last straw was I invited her out and she just completely ignored my message so I've never bothered to message her again and that was 3 years ago. We have such great memories together, it does make me feel sad when I think about them.

I think you were actually quite brave to cry and tell her how you felt, I'd never have the guts to do that! If someone had a problem or issue with me or if I upset them in any way I'd rather them just tell me so that I can apologise and try to change my ways rather than someone just completely ghosting me!

Lurkingandlearning · 07/06/2024 08:23

Try not to feel bad about crying. At least it was an honest reaction. Lt seems her reassuring words weren’t honest if she’s not made an effort since.

Everything you’ve said about friendships changing or fading is true and sensible. You just have to give your heart time to catch up with your head

Almostwelsh · 07/06/2024 08:29

Is it possible she has been having mental health difficulties? This can cause people to withdraw from friends.

DoreenonTill8 · 07/06/2024 08:33

She indicated she'd been like that with everyone and just kept forgetting and that it really wasn't intentional. I ended up getting a bit teary and just explained how I felt.
She promised me it wasn't deliberate. I think it is but I knew I just had to let it go and give her the benefit of the doubt so I told her it was ok. She told me she'd try to make more effort.

Did you ask her if all was OK with her? Or did you just keep it about how upset you were?

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