Does anyone else have gym anxiety?

[flawless29]

I’m really struggling to lose weight after having my baby, who’s now over a year old. Breastfeeding helped a bit initially, but it wasn’t a major change. I’ve never been much of a gym-goer and tried running, but it’s a bit too much for me. I want to lose the postpartum weight, but I feel embarrassed to go to the gym because of my larger bust and the extra weight I’ve put on. I’m also not quite sure what to wear to the gym if I do muster the courage to go. I’m not sure how to navigate this, or if anyone else is going through the same issue. Any ideas or advice on how to lose weight? I’ve never been very big eater , but I’m trying to cut down on calories where I can

I personally think you need to sort your diet before starting exercise - it's far more effective. Keto works for me personally. Once you've lost a bit you'll be more confident going to the gym.

I have awful gym anxiety - I’m not even in particularly bad shape, just always feel like I look silly and everyone is watching me (which I know is ridiculous, they definitely aren’t nor care!).

For me, classes like Pilates and spin are so much better both in terms of confidence and motivation. I way prefer having someone there telling me exactly what to do rather than aimlessly walking around the gym having to think about what exercise to do or machine to use next. I’m considering getting a PT but not sure I want to commit that much money or time that I don’t really have right now. Having a friend go with you is always useful too but often difficult to coordinate with equally busy lives!

A lot of people feel nervous about starting at the gym- I can't say I felt anxious, but I was hesitant and worried that I wouldn't be able to keep up and would be slowest in the class!

What I did find, is that there are gym goers of many different shapes and sizes. Most people are far more worried about themselves than worrying about anyone else.

I did book in with a personal trainer a little while after I started, partly due to a musculoskeletal injury and partly to gain confidence with weights and equipment that I was less familiar with. She was lovely- understood about my injury and suggested suitable, safe exercises and was happy to show me the exercises and demonstrate them a few times until I got the hang of things.

Lots of gyms allow you to do a taster session- I'd definitely recommend this so you can get a sense whether the gym feels comfortable for you. They also offer an induction if you do join, so do make sure you attend that as they go through.

Please do try and go- I feel much fitter, healthier and mentally sharp as a result.

Edited to add- I don't have children but work shifts, so often attend day time classes- there are a fair number of mums with younger children and retired people, so I am sure you would fit in

At my gym nobody really bothers with anyone else - they’re more bothered about checking their phones. It’s a health &leisure centre so people of all ages use it and all shapes and sizes. I wear leggings and a t shirt - most women do. M & S do some nice ones. There’s a few really slim women who like to look glam but I just ignore them. You’ll have an induction and should be given a work out tailored to your needs ( you might have to ask for one) and then just go in and work through that each time - your confidence will grow!

As a gym goer, I mean it nicely when I tell you that no one will give a shit.

My gym is filled with old people and fat people and no one bats an eyelid.

Find a nice inclusive gym and you'll be fine!

But not old and fat

A decent sports bra, leggings and an oversized t-shirt will be fine. Oh and supportive trainers (decathlon do good trainers for not extortionate amounts of money).

Book an introductory session (a lot of gyms require you to have one when you join so they know you've been shown all the equipment safely) and ask for tips on a circuit you can do to make sure you're getting the best out of your time. I had a general circuit I used to do then some visits I would just focus on the static bike or the treadmill if I didn't feel like doing weights.

Absolutely this. Just give it a go. Can you get an induction with the machines etc? Then you can look around first. I'm not a runner either but was off on my own planet when I was in the gym.

No-one will be looking at you. Really, don't worry, wear what you want and enjoy it.

Agree with @Rollingdownland that you will feel comfortable in the right gym. I feel very comfortable in my local family leisure center but I’d never go to a super fancy £160 a month gym like Third Space or anything.

But the most important thing to remember is that most people are completely self absorbed in their own workout and a podcast or their favourite tunes. They just aren’t checking out other peoples’ workouts.

I used to go with my DH to the gym pre baby which really helped me gain confidence as I was used to classes, but not the gym - could this be an option if someone was able to look after the baby a few times?

In terms of clothes, I wear leggings and then an over sized t-shirt (DHs) - not a big fan of gym sets and actually you tend to see more of them outside the gym then inside!

Post baby I haven't actually been to the gym, but do online workouts which I love - DS thinks it's hilarious watching me, I can fit in 30/40 mins to my day without worrying about getting to the gym and I just bought various weights/bands etc from the range. Could this be an option for you to get back into the swing of exercising before going to the gym?

OP, I don’t have children so I can’t speak to the postpartum aspect. But I do likely have an undiagnosed learning disability that affects my coordination, motor skills, and general athletics, so I understand the intimidation. I avoided most public physical activity because I was always going right when others were going left, but I started lifting weights at a local gym my late 30s and it’s my zen place almost 10 years later.

The most important bit of advice I can give you is to book a few sessions at the very beginning for a trainer to show you how the machines work and give you a starting point. This will familiarize you with the gym itself, and you’ll feel better that you know at least one person there when you start on your own. He or she can also give you insight on the culture of the gym, unwritten rules, etc.

Also, don’t assume that a fancy gym will be more comfortable. Sometimes the old school gyms crammed with mismatched equipment and a variety of types of gym goers (ages, gender, fitness levels, what they wear) are the most comfortable when you’re new.

No one cares about you in the gym. Book yourself in for an induction so you can have a walk through with a PT but you’ll be fine. Gym leggings and a standard t shirt will be fine, you don’t have to go all out with GymShark kit

I've had a gym membership for 20 years in various gyms. Every one I've been to is 5% beautiful bodies gym obsessives, 95% variously overweight, middle-aged, post-surgery etc etc people just trying to be healthier or stave off mobility issues. Just like the general population...most of us are average looking, chubby and not giving a shit.

Just go!

I understand your fears OP, I was there too. I actually booked in with a personal trainer to get me going, so I had somehow show me what to do. She actually said the best place to start is with food, eating right makes more of a difference if it's weight loss or gain.

You'll soon realise that people go to the gym for all sorts of reasons but they're all there to work on themselves not to care about what you look like or are wearing. You'll find most people keep to themselves but anyone who does interact with you is usually pretty friendly. The gyms I've all used have had a great community!

As for clothes, where whatever is comfortable.
I wore mainly leggings, converse (as it was weights I was doing rather than cardio) and a baggy top.

Good luck!

Exactly this!

And I agree with the PP who said don't assume a smart gym will be nicer. IME the scruffier the better, as obviously the posers go to the swanky gyms and the normal people go to the normal gym.

I've been members of everything from a super smart gym to my current one which is roughly youth hostel standard, and the latter is far far nicer and friendlier and more enjoyable.

I love Tesco for sports wear btw, cheap, comfy and all have given good support and coverage.

You don’t sound like you enjoy the gym so try something else. Classes. Cycling. Brisk walking. Swimming. The are millions of home workouts on YouTube.

I’d avoid ones in small towns where everyone knows each other. If you stick out from the norm (whatever that is) you tend to get gossiped about. That’s been my experience as a gym goer, and I’ve been members of them all. Best ones are the ones in larger towns/cities where folk tend to do thier thing and do their thing only.