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Original poster

Car accident

34 replies

pinklite · 05/06/2024 22:16

I had my first car accident today after 7 years of driving. I was driving straight through at a junction (my light was obviously on green) and another car that was turning right at the junction came speeding round, didn't stop and crashed into me. I swerved to try to avoid him but he was going so fast that I couldn't, so my passenger side took the brunt of it where my 3 month old was. Also had my 5 year old in the car. The other driver is also trying to claim I'm at fault so I think this is going to be difficult going forward.

Just absolutely terrifying and I can't get it out of my head. Not to mention I'm aching all over and feel terrible. Had the worst headache all day, probably due to the stress.

How do I get past this? I'm terrified to get into a car in case it happens again. I've been trying to sleep but I can't. I'm now also without a car and I won't be able to get a new one. I feel so gutted as my son has autism and car journeys are his favourite Sad it's all just so sad and depressing. The only huge positive I can take is that we are all alive and not seriously injured.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinklite · 05/06/2024 22:36

Is anybody up to talk? Can't sleep Sad

OP posts:
stonebrambleboy · 05/06/2024 22:40

I think feeling terrible and having a headache is perfectly normal in the circumstances, you've had an awful shock. Thank God the children are ok. Did the police attend?
You must get behind the wheel as soon as possible, the longer you leave it the harder it will be to conquer your fear. I hope you can get some rest tonight.

DuckEggy · 05/06/2024 22:41

I expect the insurance company will be able to see you weren't at fault. Have you got photos of your car's damage, their damage if poss, and a picture of the road and markings?

Can you do something to distract you - watch something silly on YouTube or play a game on your phone.

Such a shame 💐

Original poster
pinklite · 05/06/2024 22:41

stonebrambleboy · 05/06/2024 22:40

I think feeling terrible and having a headache is perfectly normal in the circumstances, you've had an awful shock. Thank God the children are ok. Did the police attend?
You must get behind the wheel as soon as possible, the longer you leave it the harder it will be to conquer your fear. I hope you can get some rest tonight.

Yes the police did attend but they didn't seem too interested really, just told us to go through the insurance which obviously we have done

OP posts:
Guavafish1 · 05/06/2024 22:42

my friend had similar experience.... its took her time to get her driving confidence again.

But now she is driving again

Original poster
pinklite · 05/06/2024 22:43

Guavafish1 · 05/06/2024 22:42

my friend had similar experience.... its took her time to get her driving confidence again.

But now she is driving again

I was a confident driver before this and nothing really phased me, but now it worries me knowing I'm not in control of what other people do on the road

OP posts:
somethingwickedlivesnextdoor · 05/06/2024 22:46

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Did the other driver go through a red light?

Definitely get back driving ASAP. Do you have a dash cam? They've might give you more confidence- that if some idiot drives like a loon you have it on tape!

Are your dc ok?

EagleEyeRock · 05/06/2024 22:48

What makes you think the other driver is making out you're at fault?

Guavafish1 · 05/06/2024 22:49

Very sorry for your experience. its very scary when such an accident occurs with your kids in the back.

I think it will take time and kindness towards yourself after life or death event.

My friend was too an equally confident driver. I think she only did short journeys and not motorway for the first year post accident.

stonebrambleboy · 05/06/2024 22:55

If you were driving ahead through a green light and the bloke turned in front of you and hit you surely he's totally at fault. I don't understand why the police didn't book him. Perhaps a police officer will come on the thread and explain.

ThePerfectDog · 05/06/2024 22:56

It’s hard isn’t it? I’ve had a couple of bad driving experiences recently, 100% down to angry male drivers. You’re right it’s the fear of realising that you can’t control what other people are doing. I’m the only driver so in some sense I was lucky that I can’t avoid driving, so I had to get back on the metaphorical horse straight away and that definitely helped as it got easier each time.

merderforlife · 05/06/2024 22:57

Also make sure you tell the insurance you are achey and headaches

weirdoboelady · 05/06/2024 22:59

Remember that you are in shock and it's late at night. Things will be more in balance in the morning and it can help to know that once the worst shock is over, you will see things more clearly and most probably feel a LOT more confident. Things do feel bad at night I know, so just remember that all the facts WILL feel better tomorrow. (3am is my personal bad time. Remember to post on here if you're feeling bad as there is normally someone around).

Also, you say the other driver is blaming you but in fact he is probably just following the insurance advice of never admitting responsibility, regardless of how guilty he actually knows he is.

Give your kids an extra cuddle from me and take one for yourself xxx

Lemonade2011 · 05/06/2024 23:07

How scary op, I had an accident last December gave me a massive fright and that’s without my kids in the car, you’ll likely be sore for a few days/weeks but take painkillers and try to rest. The anxiety in the car takes a while to settle, I’m hyper vigilant and a bit twitchy still drive quite slowly and avoid it at times if not an essential journey. Am a better driver than passenger, I find it hard to let other people drive. Take care of yourself and I hope the insurance is sorted soon, I crashed at end of December car was a rite off and I had a new one by mid Jan so it was pretty fast for me.

FlyingSoap · 05/06/2024 23:10

That sounds horribly scary OP, not surprised you’re shaken up. You are all ok. Can you play Tetris? Research says doing Tetris for 20 minutes in the 48 hours after a traumatic event reduces flashbacks and long lasting trauma. It sounds weird but it’s well backed up, there’s a free app for it on the App Store.

Try and distract yourself if you can and get back in the car ASAP, go out at a quieter time and on your own if you’d feel better doing that at first. Do a route you know well and stop and get yourself a treat after, a nice coffee or a cake or something. The sooner you drive the less you will build it up in your head.

The other driver was an idiot. There are idiots about unfortunately, but it’s highly unlikely to happen to you again. Remember if for 7 years you’ve been fine on all the trips you’ve made the odds of it are so low. Hugs to you, take care of yourself x

VolvoFan · 05/06/2024 23:11

You shouldn't see it as not being able to control what people do on the road, as that defeats the point of autonomy. What you'll find once you regain confidence is that you'll be hypervigilant. You'll be treating all other road users like they're total idiots, which in the case of this other driver, they are. Give your little ones a big hug and try to get some rest. You will get past this.

thisisasurvivor · 05/06/2024 23:12

Op I'm so so sorry

You will be able to drive again
You take it slowly and you can make it

Poor you :(

thisisasurvivor · 05/06/2024 23:13

VolvoFan · 05/06/2024 23:11

You shouldn't see it as not being able to control what people do on the road, as that defeats the point of autonomy. What you'll find once you regain confidence is that you'll be hypervigilant. You'll be treating all other road users like they're total idiots, which in the case of this other driver, they are. Give your little ones a big hug and try to get some rest. You will get past this.

Absolutely!!!

LittleRedYarny · 05/06/2024 23:16

Wow OP that’s scary and stressful, really sorry that you’re having to deal with this.

Firstly, have a big glass of water and something a bit salty to make sure you’ve got balanced electrolytes.

Secondly (while you drink and snack) write down everything you can remember happening and how you physically and emotionally feel, this will help if the insurance company have questions. (Also - and not to freak you out - I had a minor bump that required my boot being replaced and the chap at fault got uppity about the cost because his insurance company wouldn’t cover the repair due to him defaulting on payment. It ended up in him making a failed small claims court application against me.)

Thirdly, do something nice for yourself for 30 minutes. I’ve just finished a job application and I’m watching an episode of The Bear - very good trait-comedy. (The accident with ectoplasm cocktail at the kids birthday is awful but slightly funny.)

RachTheAlpaca · 09/06/2024 15:59

Make sure you replace your car seats, this is definitely not your fault, the other persons insurance should pay! Feel better soon, sounded really scary

Jiski · 09/06/2024 16:02

In terms of the fault, find a local Facebook page and ask if anyone witnessed it and would be willing to confirm what they saw to your insurer. See if local business or houses have cctv they can share.

You will feel better driving again, it just shakes you up when it’s your first time.

olderbutwiser · 09/06/2024 16:16

Similar happened to me 28 years ago with my 2 year old in the car (definitely the other driver's fault, and they weren't insured which was a whole extra can of worms back in those days).

I felt exactly the same as you to start with but the feeling did pass - not least because I had kids who needed to be ferried around so had to get back in the saddle - and it wasn't long until I was driving confidently again.

I do still watch junctions very carefully all these years later, but I am sure you will feel better in a few days.

stepfordwifey · 09/06/2024 16:18

I had an emergency vehicle shoot straight out of a junction and plough into me. It was a real shock so I know how you're feeling. I couldn't tell where it was coming from and couldn't pull over because I was passing the junction. I had damage to the passenger side too.
Their insurers are saying they might be disputing liability. I'm bloody livid as the dash cam should show exactly what happened.
The Highway Code clearly states you mustn't do anything to endanger yourself or others.
There was only me in the car and I was unharmed but I shook for quite a while. The bang was so loud.
I hope it's all sorted OP.

Wokkadema · 09/06/2024 16:25

Oh OP, I am sorry this happened to you.
Along with the water and electrolytes, you may need some easy calories - stress burns through them. Hot cocoa if that's your thing, or instant noodles - comfort food.
Another thing that helps with trauma is to remember the things you were in control of & did well. Makes you less helpless.
So tell us... what did you do that you're proud you did? Eg reacting quickly to try to avoid the collision- you couldn't completely, but you probably made it much less serious...

CosyLemur · 09/06/2024 18:55

Are you sure you weren't at fault? Usually if someone went through a red light at speed then they'd be arrested for dangerous driving - even more so if they hit a car with kids in.