Ds 3 not wiping - AIBU?

[Situaatom]

We thought we had mastered the potty but it seems ds is not getting how to wipe. We have shown him many many times but the occasions he is left to his own devices to do it, it’s just not done properly. I am worried that when he starts nursery next month they won’t check as there’s too many kids. DP thinks I’m being dramatic and he’s still too young to be wiping properly. I am getting really anxious about sending him to nursery if he can’t sort basic hygiene. Sometimes he won’t wipe at all and just pulls pants back up! AIBU? What do you do in this situation?

He's three. He's fine.

You keep checking. Nursery will help too. Wipe him every day when he gets home as a back up.

@MultiplaLight I don’t think nursery accompany them to the toilet though, according to a friend whose dd went to the same place two years ago. I think he will be expected to do it all himself.

He's 3. What do you expect.

@Jenala i don’t know because he’s our first!

YABVU, he’s 3!! I’d be delighted that he’s full potty trained - many haven’t managed it by then. Just continue to offer support and practice and he’ll get there. He will learn of his own accord that if he leaves himself with a pooey bum he’ll get sore, and be more motivated.

Sorry to inform you that this might continue to be an issue for many years yet! At least wait a few years before you start to worry / get really fucking annoyed with it…

Oh my goodness I thought you were going to say he was 9 or something? No three year old can wipe properly. He might get a bit sore if they really do insist on leaving him to do it, so just check him after nursery. He’ll get it in a few years. Don’t worry.

I have a 3 year old. I'm all for encouraging independence but I don't expect her to wipe her own bum (although I expect nursery does). We do it for her. Fine to encourage doing it themselves (I just can't be bothered waiting around for this) but I don't think you should expect them to do this properly at 3. Older child who is 6 does it herself and has done for about a year.

Ok thanks. What happens in nursery if they’re not potty trained then? I wonder if I should revert to nappies during nursery time or would that be confusing?

Do not revert to nappies! Nursery will be used to this and will assist if needed. But don't expect him to wipe properly for a long time yet!

Ask them to check verbally so he learns and physically if you notice he’s not doing it and getting sore. Teach him at home on weekends go to fold paper and check. My DS5 is getting better at it. We worked on it a few weeks back

Oh my goodness do not revert to nappies in nursery! A lot of kids in lower primary struggle to properly wipe, let alone a 3 yo. Just make sure he has a good clean at home post nursery. Stained pants are pretty routine while they are learning I’m afraid!

It’s pretty normal for kids to still need help wiping for a while after potty training and nursery should ask if he needs help. All of my kids inherited the ‘only poo at home’ gene from me though so i don’t think any of them ever went at nursery which I think is pretty common from speaking to friends!

Don’t do this!!!
Be consistent. They will be very used to very young children forgetting to wipe but do not go back to nappies if your kid is getting it with the potty. Especially not at 3!

My 5 year old still can’t wipe properly, 3 is far too young. Not sure if nursery will help with wiping but just give him a clean when he gets home he’ll be fine

He is potty trained! Just tell them in nursery that he’s not great at wiping yet and ask can they keep an eye on this.

Wtf no! Don't put him back in nappies!

They need help to wipe for a while yet. He's just a little guy.

Just keep practicing at home and keep it fun and upbeat, it takes ages - we started at 3, at 4.5 they still come home with stained pants on many occasions 🤣🤣 as others have said just do a good clean at home on preschool days and just keep showing him, it’s like any other skill they pick it up eventually! Good for him to learn that level of independence on the loo too if he’s headed off to preschool.

I was still getting called to wipe my kids bums at 4 possibly 5. 3 is very young.

Agree with everyone else, he is very young to be consistently wiping independently. I wouldn’t trust a three year old to get it right every time. With my eldest we used to say that she should wipe herself and then call us to “check” and I’m sure even at 5 she would occasionally ask.

Nursery really will not be phased by this at all.