Being yelled at when cycling

[Turtletunes]

I'm not sure if this is just daily modern life, but today really ground my gears 😡

Normally, I cycle off road to avoid people in general and I try to dress androgynously to avoid unwanted attention, but that only goes so far I guess. Today I cycled about ten miles, mostly on road and some off, and in that one hour and twenty minutes, I had some men in their thirties shouting something incomprehensible out of their car window at me. I think maybe they were trying to make me jump but as I'm a woman in my fifties now, I'm well used to creepy weirdos yelling at me in the street and didn't turn a hair.
Further on, I was on a village lane and overtook a mixed group of walkers in their 60s I would guess and one of the men shouted "Well it is an e-bike" as I went past. Why???? Does he think I didn't know that when I bought it??!!
AIBU to be tired of continuing everyday sexism? My husband doesn't have people yelling at him when he goes out on his bike, and when we're out together, people don't yell at us.
What can I do about this, except stay indoors? I'm so tired of men thinking heckling women in the street is acceptable/amusing.
I don't know what I want from this post really, except room to vent about how tired I am of experiencing decades of entitled mediocre men thinking its OK to behave as arseholes to women.

I cycle both on my own and with an all female group. Very occasionally in a mixed group.

the difference when I’m out with men is night and day. Yes we still get the occasional angry motorist beeping their horn because we dare to be on the road.

But blimey the abuse as a group of women is unreal! I’ve had passengers throw things out the window, cars coming in the other direction (so we haven’t held them up) shouting “fucking fat cunts” as they go past. Loads more angry beeping and revving of engines. One guy overtook us (unsafely) and stopped infront of us and got out and gave us a lecture on being two abreast.

saying that I’ve had the odd nasty female motorist give abuse as well. Once when going down a hill very fast in the middle of the left carriageway to avoid the awful potholes and woman overtook me (perfectly straight clear road, so she wasn’t delayed) and she slowed down next to me and was shouting through the window that I should be more over to the left. 🤷‍♀️

Had a car with 6 men in it once overtake beeping like mad. I gave them the finger. They jumped out and forced me and my mate to stop. Screaming at us that we were a pair of fat cunts. Seems to be the choice insult.

Oh god I got this as I was walking my new bike up a steepish hill. Random man shouted at me "you're meant to cycle it, not walk it" .

So bloody rude and wankerish.

I cycle (road) occasionally. The amount of abuse I get is unreal. I get sworn at (simply for having the audacity to ride my bike and taking a tiny part of the road) most times. It's vile. It's not just men, also women. But exclusively drivers.

I had a van driver slow down next to me recently as I was cycling along and shout "give us a wheelie" and then laugh at his oh so funny joke with his passenger. In the grand scheme of things it might sound amusing but he only did it because he could tell I was a woman from behind. I bet he got the bigger shock when he saw my face and realised that I was old enough to be his grandmother!

I'm a mixed race woman in my mid-50s and get it all the time. Always from men, always younger than me. And as for the people who who make a point of overtaking you just to turn left in front of you 5m down the road, that's just pathetic (and dangerous).

Yanbu op.
I too ignore all men when I am walking.
I only speak to women. I cannot be bothered engaging with men so they cannot under any circumstances claim ‘mixed messages.’
I’ve had dickheads heckle me when I’ve been out walking, dressed in walking boots, leggings, big long winter coat and hat. Never happens to dh- ever. Never happens to ds. Does happen to me and dd though. Hmmmm wonder why that is.
Only conclusion to be draw-lots of men are cunts.

That's what the West Yorkshire Police said when I was stalked for a second time. Have a word with yourself about your misogyny.

I agree that you should be able to vent, and say how much you dislike something, but on the other hand I believe that you can't control other people.

In my opinion you are feeling angry at something you dislike, understandable, but even in the OP you use an example which is perfectly reasonable in my opinion.
The walkers talking about the e bike were much more likely to be talking within their group than directly at you. Why would that annoy you? You can't expect to be out and about in the world and presume to go unnoticed .

I personally would be upset about the physical dangers and aggressive threats whilst cycling but comments such as "nearly there love" whilst annoying for some aren't malicious and are just part of a sort of repertoire of interaction with women by a certain type of man.
You might very well wish that this sort of man didn't exist, but equally these men may wish that the type of woman to be offended by his communication style didn't exist either.

I suppose my point is this. Lots of things people do annoy us, but if we accept that in turn we do things that annoy others, even if we aren't aware of them, then unless there's violent, sexual or threatening behaviour going on then it's just part of living in society.

Wtaf?

🤡

Yeah I can can imagine it’s worse- what kind of things do they say to you? Is it ouvertly racial ?

I haven’t been heckled much, perhaps because I stay in nowadays a lot more but I remember once a few years before the pandemic running along the side of the road in Aylesbury to the train station ( I was always running late!!) and I had this man shouting out of their car at me at the top of their voice. Something like “come on” It was early in the morning and not many cars around - shook me up a bit. Have had a few incidents like that over the years.

Got a bike which I used during the pandemic and actually didn’t have any issues cycling surprisingly.

I agree with this - I don’t think the walkers were shouting at you, I think they were talking to each other.

Isn’t it past your bed time?

Yeah I’ve had white van drivers call me a cunt while wrongfully overtaking me quickly when I’d clearly signalled I wanted to turn right.

I try to remind myself they resort to such crude insults because of male bravado and because they are ignorant and poorly educated. It’s incredibly annoying but sadly doesn’t seem likely to change any time soon. Some men just hate women.

My brother and my dp run and cycle, and they do get a lot of comments too.

I think a thick element of society can't resist shouting at someone they pass in their car - either to be mean, or because they think it's funny.

Just this week for dp :

All the gear, no idea
Change your gears
Nice arse

When I pass a cyclist going up a steep hill I think to myself how fucking hard it must be and good on them for doing it. I also I hardly groan when being stuck behind a cyclist while driving but would never be rude or abusive cos I'm not a cunt

I cycle regularly and I often get this which is unpleasant and I think puts many women off cycling and running. On a couple of occasions I have caught the vehicle up at the next set of lights. I move in front without saying a word and if there is no one else there I cycle really really slowly just to be irritating.

A a fellow 50 plus female cyclist, runner and walker, I can confirm it happens ALL the time.

After cycling to commute for about 6 years I have given up a couple of weeks ago because I can just not mentally cope with the aggressive driving and shouting which I have to put up with. It is like choosing to get on a rollercoaster every morning and evening and it is exhausting.

Did you use your bell as you approached the walkers to warn them of your presence? Members of our walking group often shout at cyclists who zoom past from behind with no warning (usually a sarcastic "Didn't hear your bell!") - we frequently don't hear them coming and happily stand to the side to allow them to pass safely if we are aware they are there.
Nb. I think bells should be compulsary on bikes.

My husband would cycle to work occasionally, a quiet short cut across moorland,
a mile or two thats all - one white van attempted to run him off the narrow road - mostly he endured shouted insults, had drink hurled at him, called all manner of names, only on this lonely stretch of road. Coming home he had similar encounters. All men.
It isn’t just you. Take no notice.

I cycled nearly 3500 miles last year, all on the road and never once got shouted at or any other negative event. I'm an overweight mid 50s female and cycle alone and with both mixed and female only cycling groups generally on quiet country roads in the East Midlands. Where are you guys cycling who get all the abuse?

blobby10 · Today 10:23
I cycled nearly 3500 miles last year, all on the road and never once got shouted at or any other negative event. I'm an overweight mid 50s female and cycle alone and with both mixed and female only cycling groups generally on quiet country roads in the East Midlands. Where are you guys cycling who get all the abuse”

This. I’m 60 and clearly invisible 😁

I agree. Unless there was something in the way it was said that isn't conveyed in the post, this sounds harmless. And lets face it, is it likely, given this was a mixed group, that the guy was going to make a lewd remark at you in front of his wife and friends?

However, I think the others who shouted at you sound like knob heads.

Urgh it’s terrible. Have also received vile misogynistic abuse when cycling but more so when younger.

Our small group of 3/4 nearly 50 something age all women get quite a positive response we stick to the very quiet lanes several times women our age have slowed down in their cars and shouted encouragement as we puff up the hill!

Oh yes, this!

We walk quite a bit and we are often on mixed use trails or quiet country lanes. When we hear bikes coming we try to get out of the way or go in to single file. But if they zoom past unexpectedly it can be unnerving. A bell is useful, but even then when you hear the bell you have to have a quick check behind to see which side they are coming from.

The ones I prefer are the people who call out something like "Passing on your right". This warns that they are there and where they are going so I know which way to step to keep out of their way.