To pay £400 to extend my ability to have children when I don't want more

[Vecna]

I have high quality embryos in storage. It's up for renewal at roughly £400 per year. I don't want more children (have two thanks to IVF) but it seems like such a big step to rid myself of the opportunity forever.

AIBU to pay even though I likely have no use for them?

Completely understandable reluctance but a waste of money if you do feel done on the baby front.

Ah I was in the situation couple year ago.
I kept paying as I didn't want to get rid of them even thought I didn't want to do IVF again.

We had a good chat and decided to donate for research. I felt better about this than them being 'destroyed' as such.

Could you pay till you're past your fertile years? I can see why it would be difficult

We’re in this situation and I pay every year. There is a part of me that won’t let go. If you can afford it then continue

Thanks for the responses. Glad to know I'm not the only one. I'll just pay it and return to the dilemma next year 😂

We had this same dilemma , year after year the letter came asking if we wanted to continue freezing our embryos. Each year we paid the money and felt better for it until the next letter came. I thought I'd save them til I was too old to want to use them but after several years we made the decision we were not going to try for anymore children so made the decision to let them go. It's one of the hardest decisions I have ever made and it broke my heart to let them go after what we'd gone through to create them. Felt like I was being terrible that I'd got the child I'd longed for and these embryos were surplus to requirement and could be disposed of, I was distraught. But ultimately we were just prolonging our agony by going through the same painful conversations every year. So we asked to have them and we buried the vial that contained them under a tree that is special to us. I told them I loved them and I was sorry and then we made an effort to try and not dwell on the situation. Someone else I know kept the vial in a drawer and another signed the papers to let them go and never gave it a second thought. You just have to do what's right for you but only when you feel strong enough to do it x

I’m in the same position- I pay £32 monthly and can store them for the next 8 years. I’ve just written it off in my head that’ll pay for them as I can’t mentally defrost them. Also in case I have a mad idea and suddenly want another x

@babybirdsmomma @Thepinkyponkc

Thank you both for your perspectives. It's nice to hear from people who understand. I guess it is prolonging the agony, but that seems better than the possible agony of regret right now (even though I'm almost certain I won't regret it!) Didn't know I could bury them. I'll make enquiries 🙏

Could you face donating? We’re just about to start IVF but obviously had to have these conversations when they asked us to consent to freezing any embryos etc. We’ve decided to use any that we want to and when we’re done, if we have any left, we will donate either to other families or medical research, in the hope that someone else can benefit.

Doesn't it partly come down to whether £400 would be a lot of money for you just now.

If you're struggling financially, and £400 could make a real difference, then maybe it's not sensible to pay this.

Otherwise, people fritter awat far more than £400 on a regular basis - if it makes you happier to pay this, pay it.

I am in the same boat, and I have no idea what I am going to do.
Ideally I would want to donate my remaining embryo, but as I was 37 when they were conceived this is apparently not an option because the cut of is 35 for a woman and 40 for a man at the time of conception for donation.
I do think this is a bit sexist because my partner and I are the same age, and it just highlights it all the more, that because of me my embryo is too old to be donated even though my partner was the same age at the time of conception. I get the blame as it were.
Does anyone know if there is anyway round this rule?

I also actually conceived naturally at the age of 44years and 10months and my baby boy is healthy and perfect, which makes the whole thing even more upsetting.

could Embryo adoption be an option? Not sure if it’s a “thing” in the UK (apology’s if you’re not UK based). I know I’ve read about it happening elsewhere in the world. Know nothing about IVF etc but my heart goes out to you 🌺🌺🌺

I can't donate for purposes of someone else having a baby. Same as @Confusionn - I was 36 at the time my eggs were collected so too old (despite my first two transfers working - so obviously decent quality).

I've considered donating for students to practice with. I know that's important, and I wouldn't have had my babies if doctors weren't given such opportunities, but I can't bear the thought of it! Too emotionally invested to imagine them being messed with. I can't help but imagine what wonderful little people they'd make, but I have a whopping 8, so I'd never be able to give them all a chance anyway.

400 isn't an enormous amount to me, but this is the fourth year of paying, so it's adding up.