Is it better to start relationships as friendships first?

[Andyouresingingasong]

I've heard people say this a lot..
However, let's imagine you're just friends with a man and don't make any indication you like him, even though you want more.
Then he starts dating another woman and it's too late. It turns out he thought you weren't interested in more, so he moved on.

I think it’s good to have a relationship which is built on the principles of friendship rather than just lust. Some shared values and interests and emotional compatibility. A relationship which could function if the sex disappeared.

But I think friendships which develop into sexual relationships are often quite problematic in practice and I have never personally made this work. There’s always been too much at risk to feel really comfortable when I have been in this situation. Introducing sex and romance to an established friendship can feel really wrong.

Its probably great if it works but I think it’s hard to get past the initial paranoia about screwing up a friendship.

If there's attraction on both sides, why would you start off as platonic friends? You don't have to get to know each other as friends before starting a relationship. You can do both simultaneously. Getting romantic with a platonic friend is just weird imo.