To hate when people say a baby is ‘flirting’

[Jaexo]

What’s everyone’s opinion on this?
I was recently round my in laws for all of my DH’s family to meet out LO, after going to a family member and being passed to the next one LO was cooing and smiling, the first family member then said ‘oh she’s such a little flirt’ and continued making comment like this multiple times as she went to each person - I think it’s a really weird, what’s everyone else opinion’s?

That is a strange way to talk about a child.

Not experienced that but have had lots of comments about my 2 DDs breaking lots of boys hearts when they are older or having lots of attention from boys / fighting them off. It always makes me feel uncomfortable. They are only 3 & 6 so really not sure why people can't just say they are pretty (if they feel they must comment on their appearance)

Then they try and slobber all over them kissing their lips! Gross 🤮Kissing babies and children on the lips should be banned.

I have never ever in my life heard that expression but if I did, it would be shut down real quick no matter who it was that said it. It wouldn’t matter if they said it about my daughter or any other baby they would be called out for it on the spot. What on earth gos through grown adult brains for them to say this nonsense?! A baby is a flirt/sexy?! How do you get from cute babbling and cooing to being a flirt and sexualising a baby?

Some people use the word synonymously with charming, or saying they've got you wrapped round their little finger. Presumably nobody actually means they think a baby is flirting to get sexual attention.

Omg yes ! My sister kissed my then 6 week old on the lips and got all offended when I explained about cold sore virus etc and she then tried to say I needed to do something about my anxiety! She hadn't even had her first set of immunisations fucks sake !!!
I said we don't even kiss her on the lips, and apparently that was really sad lol just wtf

Im sure most don't, but it sounds fucking weird

I’m a paeds nurse and some things I’ve overheard parents saying is a bit much, wee sexy bitch to a week old baby
horny little devil is another sexy flirty pants another. Clothes being described as sexy outfits, babies/kids flirting etc that’s in between the swearing, calling them little cunts when crying etc in 18 years I’ve seen a lot and these are in shared wards, single rooms and in the community I’m almost not shocked anymore tbh,

I just think some people don’t realise how inappropriate and wrong it is as it’s the done thing/everyone speaks like that in their circles. I had a gran pin me to a wall and the language was awful she was escorted out by security and the child’s mum said to me aw but what did you do to my mum, well dear I just asked her to keep her voice down as we had a very seriously ill child in the ward, the transfer team was there and gran was talking v loudly about what might be wrong etc, the child had meningitis and wasn’t likely to survive so we didn’t want parents hearing that, the daughter then kicked off. We had security in the scbu ward for a week due to one parent kicking off and trashing our parents room and throwing things and they escorted us all to our cars until the baby was discharged. Anyway off on a tangent but it is a daily occurrence these days, moved to community and it’s not that much better.

Oh my goodness that’s awful!! I know everyone’s different and thinks different things are appropriate but I couldn’t imagine ever acting like that in a hospital, or calling my newborn a little cunt because she’s crying!! I can’t believe to some people that’s acceptable let alone normal.
I have a few friends that work as security in hospitals and some of the stories they tell me about having to get people away for verbally and physically abusing staff are unreal.

MIL does the same, and the weird “girlfriend” thing too, to our two. It’s so gross.

You need to say something every single time your MIL does this.

Yeah I don’t like it either. A former friend of mine said she taught her toddler daughters (2 and 3 at the time) to bat their eyelids at waiters etc to get better service.

I said what are you teaching them as they grow older and apply those tactics of batting their eyelids at male teachers, bosses etc?

because a lot of people in society see it as the ultimate achievement to be “batting off men”

I will occasionally comment on how cute a friends kid when they’re little but as they grow older for the most part, I try and talk about how smart and kind and funny they are and compliment them on that.

This was definitely a thing when my DC were small. Mothers at soft play parties saying ‘Who’s a sexy boy!’ to their toddler! WTF? 🤢 So weird and totally inappropriate.

My mum (84) used to say it about my DC. Grim. I don't like most of the tripe that comes out of her mouth tbh

I think some people don't necessarily correlate the word flirt with sexuality tho do they?
I mean in terms of the dictionary definition it's not only about sexuality. It's "a charming or playful appeal"
I think when older people use the word they don't think of trying to get sexual attention they just think of charming an audience.. which would make sense for a baby

Yes.

Both make me feel sick.

This sexualising of babies is beyond awful Bleurgghhh.

Well, children full stop, and I mean clothing as well as comments.

I hate the “who’s your boyfriend” crap from PIL, my DD is really shy so they can see it makes her uncomfortable yet every fucking time it’s “who’s your boyfriend?” Or if she mentions a school friend “he must be your boyfriend” ewww, no, she’s five get a grip!

I always shut them down but they couldn’t take a hint if it was tied to a brick and thrown through their window.

My mum used to call my younger sister ‘sexy legs’ and chase her while doing it. Unfortunately there was a whole load of other weird, inappropriate behaviour from her too, although I think (hope?) most people who use this language about small children are just not thinking.

I've literally never heard someone calling a baby or child sexy, a flirt etc. I'd go no contact with those creeps.

I have only ever heard this on Mumsnet, I would 100% have went mental if anyone had said any of the things on this thread about either of my babies.

Who the fuck does that?!?!

Eh? Surely nobody really says this without being an out and proud paedophile?

• as well as the sexual connotations I hate this idea that babies and toddlers are manipulative: 'she's flirting', 'oh she's got you wrapped around her little finger'; 'he's playing you'. They really don't have the foresight or intellectual planning abilities -they have needs they are trying to get met whether for connection or attention or sweets. Your job is to work out what the needs are and meet them or distract if it would be harmful for them. FFS

This.

Babies and toddlers are just into having their needs met, not having learned deferred gratification yet.