To say that finances matter and men steal from women everyday?

[Tobef]

I sort of know i’m not being unfair but how can I start to make any changes about this? I feel so strongly about it.

In essence, I had a child with a man when we were late 30s. We both had professional roles. He left ALL childcare to me when we separated. This had a huge impact on my career whilst his flourished. He paid CMS after I chased it… but it didn’t touch the sides of childcare costs at nursery.

I have lost out on so much money. If women comment on this they are called money grabbing by men and even by other women! Money matters. That’s why men are reluctant to give it away. Money protects you. Money gives you choices.

I was extremely fortunate that I have had financial backing as I had a decent job and came from a wealthy family. But I have first hand experience now of knowing just how abusive the system is financially against women. I want to support change towards this or at least highlight how terrible it is. Does anyone know how I can do this? Where to start?

YANBU at all, everything you've said is largely true and being a woman cost more in general, the pink tax is often brushed under the carpet.

Women need to start telling men they require costs for children paid upfront, pension contributions for a set amount of time, contracts exchanged not fluffy words that get taken back as soon as things turn sour.

Yes true

But also let the men who are fighting for more time with their children have more time, let 50/50 be fairer

Good luck I give up chasing the £6 my ex is suppose to pay for our children a week that he hasn't even paid since November. Sometimes it's not worth fighting.

Not much you can do

Like you say nobody likes to give money away

Financial education and relationship awareness courses for teenage girls. No practical advice on how you might do that, I'm afraid, but that's what needs to happen. They need to start thinking of themselves in a new and empowered way, at a much younger age. So many still have no true confidence and are desperate to please.

Every single man in every generation of my family on both sides in living memory has treated women like absolute crap in various ways, often using money as a weapon, and because the women had kids, they had no choice but to put up and shut up.

The best of luck, OP.

I'm going to teach my DD about this, I thought I was a smart woman about all this but I still was the one in my relationship to step back from a high earning job to raise children. Now I am divorcing, that of course has ramifications. We need to demand better from relationships from the very start and NEVER give up hard earned careers as the default.