Friend constantly shouting at rest of group when drunk

[Sadnangry]

Within our friendship group there is one woman who when she gets drunk can get a bit abusive and blames others for things. Usually we placate her and brush it off but at an even we went to recently I pushed back when she was saying some other friends had stolen her taxi (they hadn’t) and she was having to pay for it. It ended up with her shouting and bawling at me and me backed in a corner. I don’t get angry often but when u do I don’t calm down easily. She didn’t mention anything afterwards and we all went on holiday a few days later.

on holiday we was accusing us of getting drinks and leaving her out (we didn’t) and spoilt on of our nights out as most the group left rather than staying out with her.

she used to be a fairly good friend (not massively close but we would meet up occasionally) but she is drinking far too much and has a really negative outlook on life, assuming everyone is out to get her and take from her. I have tried to speak to her about both but she brushes it off.

a girls long weekend has now been planned and I’m sharing with her however the thought of being with her 24/7 is making me really stressed because I’m so angry with her. I can’t back out because it’s for my best friends 40th.

I know it’s five months away but I know myself and currently every time I even think about it I want to punch something.

if I stop being friends with her so will the full friendship group and I don’t want her to lose all her friends but I don’t want to be around her, wwyd?

Well I wouldn't be sharing with her. If noone wants to swap with you then I'd say you're not doing it and she can't come. As a grown woman she needs to take responsibility for her actions.

This is really awkward. If there is no other option I would probably share with her but I wouldn’t take any of her sh*t and would call her out (but only if there is no other option . Refusing to share point blank may be awkward ) Has anyone else in the group spoken about the way this person acts ? Is there a reason why you have to share with her ?

Your friends aren't meant to abuse you, why is everyone placating her when she's behaving badly?
If she ends up friendless that's entirely on her.

An ex friend of mine used to be like this when she was drunk, she was a complete pain in the arse and now I no longer see her.

If your whole group dropped her she might learn a valuable lesson.

Dump these people. They are all totally TOWIE.

Everyone else but my bf are refusing to share with her and I’m also sharing with my bestie

I know I just worry she would sink deeper into drink, as much as I can’t bear being in her company I don’t want her to harm herself further

it’s very difficult. It’s easy to say dump her and refuse to share etc when you are not in the situation. It’s hard to do something like that. But at the same time you shouldn’t have to put up with this. Have you tried talking to her about it when she isn’t drunk (again easier said than done). If I was in your position I do think I would give her the benefit of the doubt for this weekend if she acts up I would try and stay away from her as much as possible and just go to the room and go to sleep and ignore her. And never share with her again if the behaviour is repeated.

Where did you get the idea that you are responsible for this woman?

You are not.

You didn't cause her drinking, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.

I urge you to look into Al Anon for families and friends of someone who drinks too much, too often.

You need to stop thinking the way you do and let her go on her own merry way. You are not her keeper. She is not your problem. You may inadvertently be helping her to think her drinking is normal and there is nothing awry in her life.

I know alcoholics. Trust me. They DO NOT CHANGE and they drag you down with them. Always .

I'm obviously resentful of my history but I really really cannot emphasise enough the fact that you are now just enabling her. She is insuferable and ruining your holidays but you let her get away with it. That's not helping her at all actually. It just enables the drinking and prolongs your suffering.

Your friend is an alcoholic, its not your job to protect her from the consequences of that. An alcoholic will drink regardless of life circumstances, there is nothing you can do to make the situation better or worse.

I think you might need to talk to your best friend and tell her you won't share a room with her on your trip. If everyone else can refuse why can't you?

I would also tell your alcoholic friend you won't share with her because her behaviour when drinking is unacceptable and you will not put yourself at risk of her drunken aggression again.

You are not her responsibility and I would not be sharing, only she can get help for being an alcoholic

Can you meet her for a coffee and point out her behaviour needs to change?

Drunk people CAN get paranoid and aggressive. One last chance but if she can't moderate then sadly you'll all have to step away.

I know I need to do this but at the moment I don’t think I can be near her, I’m so angry, I’m probably the person in the group who would normally be best at doing this but don’t feel I can even though I know I should