Am I? It’s a wedding one….

[Whostolemymojo]

My DSD is getting married in the South of France next summer.

It will be before British school hols but some European schools will have broken up.

The area is quite rural so accommodation is somewhat limited for those who won’t be staying at the venue.

AND until she knows how many will RSVP yes to the venue accommodation she won’t know how many will need to book something else locally.

AIBU to suggest she sends out invites or something now to allow guests to book accommodation asap and not be limited by the choice they may be left with if invites are sent out next year?

I know many of you have possibly been on both sides of this problem (had a wedding abroad or been invited to one)and I am really hoping for some good advice.

She has sent save the dates but it was over the weekend that we were listing nearby accommodation and she was wondering if there was a way of prompting people to book it sooner rather than later.

I know this is on her mind, but I don’t want to give her the wrong advice.

Thank you.

I think it would be reasonable of her to send invites now with a LONG RSVP date

I’d say it’s a good time to get invites out now. I’d definitely appreciate an invite to a wedding abroad way earlier than if it were local. People need plenty of time to book time off work, sort accommodation etc.
Does she have a wedding website? These can be super handy for getting numbers of responses and also giving loads of info without having to print it all off and post etc.

Are you saying it’s not a priority for her father to attend/have accommodation at her wedding?

She’s operating on a first come first served basis?

Whate their relationship like?

I am going to do her website with RSVP linked in. I agree that the more info the better 😃

I am also thinking I would like to make plans well in advance. Even though it’s not the ‘traditional’ timeline for sending out invites x

I've been in your daughter's position here, although not an abroad wedding. We had very scattered friends & family which meant no matter where we got married, lots of guests would have to travel

The problem with early invites is that so much that guests want to know isn't organised yet, so it's hard.

What we did is early, detailed save the dates. So people knew exactly what bits they were invited to and the basic timings. We also sent a list of local hotels in the envelope, with a note saying something along the lines of "in case you want to get organised". It worked well, despite my mum having kittens that it wouldn't.

I would prioritise close friends and family at the venue accommodation. And perhaps anyone with mobility issues. Those people who you can call and say, "do you want a room here? It'll be £x" and they give an instant response. That way you can be confident they'll be booked up fully.

Unless the venue accommodation is huge?

Relationships are good all round 😁 I have been with her dad for many many years and I think the world of my both my SDs and they are close with their half sibling(my DC with DD). Relations with their mum and stepdad also amicable.

i think she would like the venue rooms to be mostly family and besties. So siblings. Parents and Steps, aunties, uncles, cousins etc. Not a huge family per se.

But it would be good to know asap how many will be taken (if that makes sense)

It also means if she gets no's back she can invite a second wave if she wants without it seeming obvious they are the second wave