To avoid my birthday present?

[Fishingonthedockofthebay]

I have a group of friends at work. We are all female and range from 25-55 years old. We try to have lunch together once a week at work, and when it’s someone’s birthday we go for a meal after work, or occasionally at the weekend.

There are five of us and it’s very nice arrangement, we are work friends but I’ve not been to their houses and don’t have much communication outside of work.

My dilemma is that it was a “big” birthday of mine recently, and they have thought outside of the box and instead of a dinner they have bought me a voucher for a spa afternoon, to have with all of them.

It’s a nice gesture but I’m not into it. I’ve put on a lot of weight since having my last child and I would never hang out with friends in swimwear like that. My work friends are all glamorous and slim with nice figures and I’m not slim and even if I was I don’t have a good figure.

What do I do? I don’t want the gift but how can I get out of it?

It's my idea of hell on Earth. If forced to I could just about cope with a manicure and pedicure. All the rest, torture!!

Last time someone bought me a voucher for a posh hotel with a spa I used the voucher for afternoon tea instead.

I would be uncomfortable too. Have they already got their tickets? Could you say how much your mum/husband has been wanting to go to that place and would they mind terribly this time if you went without them instead?

I'm with the OP on this.....she has explained herself really well and some people are still saying.....oh go on ...you'll love it!

OP you have 2 options.....

1. Pretend to be excited and on the day come down w a bug or covid

1. As others have said, speak to closest person in the friendship group and explain you feel really bad, but spas are just not your thing, but you really appreciate the gesture etc etc

Personally I'd choose option 2 cos if you choose option 1 and another spa day is organised for someone else in group, you're a bit snookered!

Thank you all. There has been some amazing advice, and I appreciate the understanding of those who also don’t love spas.
We have yet to pick a date. I’ll have to think about how to play it, fess up that ai don’t want to plan the day, or do it and cancel. Honestly tempted by the last minute cancel, we are friends but we aren’t very close talk-about-our-feelings friends so it’s tempting to breeze along with it all then have Covid.

They're your friends - they're not going to be talking to their husbands about how you look in a swimming costume! They won't care that you've got a tattoo 🙄 get yourself a nice new costume and you can wear a robe. Don't worry about stretch marks, we all have them!

It's a shit present. Find a nice way to say thanks but no thanks - as PPs have said, you need to close off the possibility of them arranging another spa day for you in future, so don't accept and then fake a reason not to attend.

Definitely don't offer to reimburse them or get a round of drinks as an apology - it's not your fault they got you a crap gift.

I know this is an old thread but I had to comment to say I totally understand where you are/were coming from, OP and I am AMAZED that so many ppl were telling you to go, “it’s the best” etc - what the actual fuck?!

Its only amazing if you like that type of thing - they could have spent loads of money buying you an experience day where you all jump out of a plane, or go for a thoughtfully planned bungee jump, or swimming with sharks.. If you happen to like this shit it’s bloody wonderful, but it sounds likely they didn’t even put it past the OP before booking and are using her big bday as an excuse to organise it for themselves NOT her. That’s the opposite of thoughtless and generous in my book. All the posters saying you should go, it’s wonderful obviously love that themselves - it’s so fucking one sided - can yous seriously not see this and assume everyone feels the same way about life and their bodies as you do? It’s all very well to say fuck ‘em and be body positive, but that’s how YOU feel, OP doesn’t have to feel the same way. FFS, really?!