Hi all
I just wanted to get some other opinions on something, as this really upset me this morning...
I was busy getting ready and really hurt my hand in the kitchen. I accidentally let out a "fuck" and my nearly three year old repeated it.
I did absolutely nothing upon hearing this, as I didn't want to bring attention to it. I said nothing, and he didn't repeat it again.
However, I was obviously mortified that he had repeated my swearing! I know this happens, but hearing my little boy repeat something through my mistake made me feel dreadful.
The issue I have though, is my partner's reaction. He immediately said to me "we need to be more careful with what we say". I thought this was pretty indelicate, as he knows I would've already been feeling bad, so did he really have to say it and make me feel even worse?
I'd get it if I had laughed or something, but I was silent and to know me, he would've known I was upset about it. Also, he doesn't swear pretty much at all, so when he says that "we" need to be more careful, he quite obviously means "you".
I explained that I obviously hadn't meant to said it and it slipped out when I hurt my hand. He told me that he thinks people can control their swearing when they hurt themselves. I don't think it is unreasonable to accidentally swear when you hurt yourself. Other times, yes, I think you can control swearing...and I always do. He definitely would've seen me halt swear words around my little boy. Therefore I think it even more unkind to make me feel worse about it, as he would've seen that normally I try really hard not to let any out.
This may seem like a silly little matter, but I think it hits a nerve because my partner picks me up on things like this often, when I feel kindness is not making the other person feel worse. I am not perfect...none of us are, and pointing this out often feels unloving.