He has the man flu. So i EXILED him to the bedroom. AIBU?

[MoonstonePuppy]

[Man rant]
Please be kind this is my first post.
I am new to mumsnet

Lonh story short he has a cold. Day before yesterday he was very argumentative and he called me names and hurt my feelings. Argument ensued.

Yesterday i pitied him a bit he was lying in bed all day moaning so i looked after him (when i have a cold i do not get a couple of days in bed, i get on with it) i bought him Lucozade in bed, made him meals and healthy smoothies and looked after the kids and pets so he could rest.

today he is just mean again he is "too sick" to change a nappy or walk the dog or take 4mo dd to her appointment so im going to walk up in the rain to do it.

He is SO SICK that its fine just to be mean to me and call me names.

I dont beleive this bs that men get more poorly with coughs and colds i think they just know how to EXAGGERATE more.

I would be more patient if he had any kindness when i was in a hell of a lot of pain with this dental abcess from an infected tooth that makes me miserable. I have been waiting a year to have my broken wisdom tooth removed in hospital and about once a month i have to go on antibiotics when the pain gets unbearable. Last week before i started my last antiviotics it was horrible, i was in so much pain.

I didnt sleep. It was hard to eat. Even moving around made my face swell and throb. Not once did he ask me how i felt, or offer to look after the kids so i could catch some sleep. I just had to manage my normal responsibilities while trying to handle the intense pain. Thankfully he did offer to watch the house so i could walk out in the pouring rain to pick up my antibiotics when i was almost in tears from the pain so theres THAT. Thanks dear. (He can drive. I cannot)

Im sorry but he can f himself if hes going to be so rude. Why should i run round and do everything if he doesnt have my back when i feel shitty.

I brought this up and he said "but the difference is im actually really ill not just have a little toothache"

It wasnt just like i had a little cavity, my face swelled up!! Its not like he has the flu or a vomit bug, I used to go to work with a cold! I would take a cold over a persistent dental infection anyway

I told him he can go lie in the bedroom all day if hes going to be an ass.

Am i being unreasonable? Excuse the rant. Turns out im angrier than i thought

I could not put up with that shit. If he is ill then tell him to shut up and go to bed and to stop being an arse. You don't get to be rude to people just because you are feeling unwell.

Stop pandering to him!

Learn to drive so you can have more freedom now - and when you’re single once you’ve dumped his pathetic arse.

Your in a relationship with an abusive man. Do you really want to expose your child to this?

I thought i would be the bigger man.
I thought maybe if i had his back he would have mine when i feel rough but he is being such a BABY. He has the common cold but he is being so moany and demanding youd think he has cancer or something.

This morning when i was getting 10yo ready for school he didnt even change the baby's nappy when she cried he just sat there and shouted "HURRY UP I FEEL LIKE SH*T" as if im meant to run up and collect her because hes got the sniffles.

Who looks after the kids when i have the sniffles? I effing do because im not a wet blanket.

Also he makes super dramatic groany noises when he coughs or sniffs to really drive the point home. I know whey are exaggerations because he doesnt do them when i neave the room. It would be funny if it werent incredibly annoying.

I brought this up and he said "but the difference is im actually really ill not just have a little toothache"

I may be being dramatic here but if my husband said that to me when he had a cold I'd divorce him. I had an abscessed wisdom tooth for six months over lockdown and it's honestly one of the worst pains I've ever experienced, 10x worse than childbirth, I was literally delirious with pain sometimes. If I hadn't had my husband there bolstering me and basically taking over absolutely everything in the house I don't know if I would've coped, so I can give only props to you for suffering through it while still being expected to do everything. You must be made of absolute steel.

So reading that has just given me the absolute rage. What a grade A dickhead you're married to. I'm so sorry. I will be wishing a thousand toothaches upon him.

Basically what i did. He is sulking under the blankets currently. Not gonna lie, i feel better now i have banished him. I sound really mean but the whole "woe is me" thing is wearing thin today.

He is acting like im being the cruel one. How on earth can he do LIGHT HOUSEWORK or entertain a BABY when he has a runny nose AND a sore throat!!?? Like, is it even possible? Dont want such hard labour to trigger a medical emergency like a slight cough or even ...god forbid.. a sneeze!!

I told him to take a paracetamol and have a hot bath if its that awful. He didn't so it cant be that awful.

thankyou @MonsteraMama its just good to feel heard.