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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That riding school shouldn't charge me for this?

141 replies

Pistachiovillian · 04/06/2024 10:47

I have joined a new riding school recently and attended three times. Once for a ride out, twice for lessons.

All have been at 09:30 am.

I have usually left myself too much time to get there and arrived for about 09:15 but to avoid waiting about, last time I set off a bit later and arrived at 09:20.

Every time I have been, all the riders and the instructor and helpers (teens who bring the horses from the fields or stables, tacked up) have all gathered in the car park and then we've led or ridden the horses to the lesson arena or in the case of the ride, got on them there and gone out.

Last time (last week) I arrived at 09:20 and nobody was about. I went into the office but there were only some children in it who didn't say anything to me. I borrow hats from the riding school when I ride (I dropped mine and don't trust it and have yet to purchase another one) so I went in, picked up a hat, smiled at the children and then walked out, hoping somebody would materialise. Nobody did. I waited until 09:43 before thinking I must've made a mistake and not booked in. couldn't see anyone around-the stables are kind of down a hill from the car park but I could only see horses, not even any of the teen helpers, nobody! So I put my hat back in the office and drove home.

Not long after I got home, I had a message from the riding school saying I was booked in. I responded that I turned up, and nobody appeared to be there so I assumed I must've turned up having not booked.

Normally when I get there there are lots of people bustling about, teen helpers, horses, other riders all chatting-never has anyone left the car park until It's time for the lesson/ride-in one case it was very late as they waited for ages as the last rider was stuck in traffic.

Nobody replied to my reply until late last night, this was (I think) a manager who had been passed the message. I told her exactly what I had said here and she's said that 'lessons are always in the 'top' arena and I should have just gone there.

Well 1)I have only had two lessons at this school and they were both in different arenas and 2) This has never been the case before, ALWAYS everyone waited in the car park and rode or walked their horse to said lesson wherever it was.

She recommended I turned up 5 or 10 minutes early-to which I replied that I did!
She said that 'at 09:30' we all go for the lesson and I said I was most definitely there at 09:20(I am not sure that it wasn't even a bit earlier, if I am honest but I know it was definitely at 09:20) and she also said that one of the children in the office was a teen helper who actually SAW me return my hat and drive off.

So, they have confirmation that I was present and correct-I was SEEN. And I've told them that the usual protocol of the last three times I've been is we meet in the car park-not an arena (either one).

They still want to charge me the full amount 'because they had taken the horse out for me'.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MauveExpert · 07/06/2024 13:50

In my experience, most riding stables are ridiculously disorganised so this story doesn’t surprise me.
Horsey folks can also be nippy sweeties generally, they often don’t communicate clearly the arrangements- and often stables are staffed by moody teenagers who don’t really understand customer service.

It sounds like you did nothing wrong- and you wasted your time travelling there for no reason. I’d argue the point and make it clear that it was quite an inconvenience for you. Additionally, they need to consider providing clear guidance on arrangements so this doesn’t happen in future to others.

loropianalover · 07/06/2024 13:53

Welshmonster · 06/06/2024 22:35

the children shouldn't just be left in the office to help random people that walk in. it's a safeguarding issue. they either work there or they don't. What if you were a new client looking to book? they couldn't have helped. Get a phone number to call or do they get the kids to answer the phone as well

Have to say I agree with this, if the kids looked so young OP didn’t even want to approach them then they should not be left alone.

Whether or not OP should have asked them where to go, I wouldn’t like to be a 12/13 year old left in an office on my own, and I wouldn’t like to know that my 12/13 year old was left in an office alone. Sounds like anyone can drive up to the car park, and everyone else was obviously so far away that OP couldn’t hear or see where the class was taken place.

krustykittens · 07/06/2024 13:53

Slightly derailing the thread here but, speaking as a horsey person, riding schools do need to provide some kind of customer service if they want to keep business. Horsey people understand that the kids are unpaid volunteers and are used to the vibe that they bring to a place but not all clients are horsey, and let's face it, young teen girls can sometimes be an unfriendly bunch, especially if there is no proper management in place. I once had a lesson while on holiday at a place where everyone made me feel like a nuisance who was interrupting their private conversations, rather than a client. Coupled with adults who often have better animals skills than human, it quickly becomes an environment where people will not want to go and spend their cash during a COL environment. Personally, I would like to see more people like the OP coming into the sport, at whatever level, and riding schools are the places that encourage future equestrians. I know times are hard for riding schools but if they do not give people the experience they are looking for, they won't come back, especially when prices are going up.

MarkWithaC · 07/06/2024 14:41

I think you're being generous paying half. Just for them saying lessons are 'always' in the top arena, which is patently a lie.

oakleaffy · 07/06/2024 15:04

krustykittens · 07/06/2024 13:53

Slightly derailing the thread here but, speaking as a horsey person, riding schools do need to provide some kind of customer service if they want to keep business. Horsey people understand that the kids are unpaid volunteers and are used to the vibe that they bring to a place but not all clients are horsey, and let's face it, young teen girls can sometimes be an unfriendly bunch, especially if there is no proper management in place. I once had a lesson while on holiday at a place where everyone made me feel like a nuisance who was interrupting their private conversations, rather than a client. Coupled with adults who often have better animals skills than human, it quickly becomes an environment where people will not want to go and spend their cash during a COL environment. Personally, I would like to see more people like the OP coming into the sport, at whatever level, and riding schools are the places that encourage future equestrians. I know times are hard for riding schools but if they do not give people the experience they are looking for, they won't come back, especially when prices are going up.

Spot on.

WrinklyScrotum · 07/06/2024 16:22

OP I wouldn’t bother learning to ride. From what I’ve seen, horsey world is generally full of quite socially dysfunctional people who tend to he quite nasty and bitchy. TBH I’m not surprised you got this response from the riding school even though they were clearly in the wrong.

I’d find another hobby if I were you.

Nanaof1 · 07/06/2024 16:28

Frogpole · 07/06/2024 11:55

Tell me @stichguru, what is your motivation to post such silly things as this, what is it you're hoping for? Like you woke up this morning, brushed your teeth, had a shower, ate some cornflakes, thought to yourself "Ooh, I know! I'm going to search out someone in need of help and support - then disgrace and humiliate myself with a pathetic attempt to bully them!" - which step is it I'm missing?

Help me to understand what drives you to this point of throwing every last drop of self respect out of the window just to try to upset strangers on the internet. Are you a debt collector and you think people will be so intimidated by your Mumsnet comments that they'll pay up with no argument? Are you picturing us all sat here quaking in terror, on the phone like "Oh please, I'm begging you to protect me, I'll pay anything you want to save me from this scary forum poster, please!" only to be told "Is it ol' Stichy from the mother an babby group again? Mind we're just the UVF, you'll need the United Nations to save yous from that one!".

I'm so sorry that someone's hurt you so badly Stichy, but this really isn't the way. It must be so hard when the only way you can derive even a scrap of self worth or sense of control over your existence is by spoiling things for other people, being so insecure that you put boundless effort in to trying to hurt other people and none in to trying to make yourself happy. But you know what Stichy? It's gonna be ok. Talk to us, tell us all your sorrows, there's some really nice and supportive people here!

And I'm sure no one will try to make themselves look strong by kicking you when you're down.

BRAVO!!👏

Many of us think this, but you were eloquent and spot-on!

I want to be YOU when I grow up!

BoundaryGirl3939 · 07/06/2024 16:28

I would go to a different riding school. You can't depend on them.

Pistachiovillian · 07/06/2024 17:43

@Umidontknow I think I was just expecting someone to turn up or me to hear something of them. I wasn't sure I hadn't missed a cancellation msg or something. I realise I should have but as I said before I didn't really want to rock up and perhaps interrupt a lesson Id not booked in on.

I was there early. I don't think not going without me until the lesson was due to begin is mollycoddling. I can't have been down as a 'no show' when I was seen there at the correct time.

I agree with that @Shakespeareandi . I used to help my Mum with her job (showing people around show houses) and if she'd gone to the loo or something I'd been briefed on what to say, even though I was shy I wouldn't have not said anything even if just 'She'll be back in a minute!'. I wasn't any older than 14.

I can't see from the website that they are BHS approved but that doesn't mean they're not. I may be looking in the wrong place.

Most kids love helping and being around horses and ponies, I do understand that.

They didn't really tell me anything when I first started going, just what time to be there. I got there, went into the office, was shown where to get a hat to borrow. All other riders gathered in the car park.

@ThatAgileGoldMoose true. I am pretty confident with horses (more so than people) but I understand it may not always be the case. I am not annoyed with the school. It's fine. It's sorted out and I'll pay for my lesson and a half one next time-I take that point that schools and horsey facilities are in times of trouble, I didn't set out to waste anyone's time.

I really do like this school. There are others but I'd just rather not change.

@OMGsamesame we've always just met in the car park outside the office so I thought that was the norm and was surprised nobody was there this time. I was within good time to get a hat, put my riding boots on (I can't drive in them!) as I've said it was 20 past at the latest (that's what time I looked at the time anyway) It was very possibly a few mins earlier.

@stayathomer I do, thank you!

that's sad @Scottishgirl85 and to be honest, it is the reason or at least one of the reasons, that I have left schools before. A lot of snobbery and 'snottishness' in the 'horse' community.

@Tickytocky that is very odd! And I'd be hurt too. Wonder what it was?!

@ememem84 I understand that but it is a different situation to this one.

@Lovemycat2023 this one has seem very friendly so far which is one of the main reasons I like it. They should have told you absolutely! I am glad you put your money elsewhere. At least they 'phoned you though. They could have phoned me couldn't they?

I am sorry to hear about all these experiences. It's worth looking about to find a good school but as others have said, there aren't many of them.

I didn't think of that @PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting - maybe I am right and there wasn't a teen there? But then how's she told the manager that she saw me, pretended based on what the other children said?I am going with assuming that there was a lesson, based on how nice everyone has been so far before this.

@CarterBeatsTheDevil I didn't know where it was.

@Ginnnny no, they know I turned up-it was verified and whoever passed the msg onto the manager even described my actions exactly (got my hat, went, came back to put it back etc.)

@PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting I am very much often taken advantage of! I am over 40 now and just getting a bit less prone to it, seeing that people aren't always with good intentions no matter how nice they may seem. Thank you for that lovely post.

@YouSayChorizoIsayChorizo I have seen plenty of that myself too! A lot of shouting! It's just unnecessary in my opinion and not the right way to speak to people or get what you need from them. Thank you.

@stichguru no, I didn't. And I didn't know where they were. Not yet familiar with the facilities or the stables.

@GruntledGoblin I just don't want to start off on a hostile foot with them thinking I am horrible or want to not pay them for their time-I do. I just feel that this could have been handled a lot better-they shouldn't have gone without me not knowing if I knew where to go and it being a different situation to every other time if they did and the girl meant to be helping should have said something when she realised I hadn't joined the lesson, or ideally, before that.

Every time I've been so far the helpers have tacked up the horses and brough them to us in the car park, I didn't know which horse it would be (they don't have this written anywhere, each time before I have arrived, the instructor has greeted me, told me which horse and pointed him/her out if I didn't know, and then I have gone and got on).

@Ireallywantadoughnut36 that's how I feel too. They should have told me where the others were as they'd exited the car park early.

You're right about having youngsters 'working'. I've seen plenty of that behaviour too! Being shouted at etc.

That last paragraph sums it up for me really!

I understand their cost-saving measures being necessary.

@MrsSunshine2b they're £30.

@Frogpole ! Thank you-seen so much of that sort of thing on these threads. I am not responding to the daft content of that post. Bravo for that!

@oakleaffy come to think of it there were some awful 'horsey' girls at the school I went to too.

That's a lovely tale, how nice of him. I want to know what she was like to ride!

My emotions aren't working which is bothering me far more than it should be!

OP posts:
TwixOwl · 07/06/2024 17:56

Why are you offering to pay half when they have acknowledged the misunderstanding?

Donotneedit · 07/06/2024 17:57

AlltheFs · 04/06/2024 10:57

You should have asked! Do you not have the use of your mouth? “Where is the 9.30
lesson?” would have done it.

I would also have gone everywhere and looked if they hadn’t been able to tell you. Or asked them to find out. Goodness me. However do you manage real life?

You’re so rude!

Cerealkiller4U · 07/06/2024 17:59

Pistachiovillian · 04/06/2024 11:04

The manager hasn't responded to my message as of yet, I'll see what she says. I feel that they should have waited until 09:30 like normal, before going to the lesson, to make sure everyone was there. I also feel if the teen was meant to be helping she should be capable of saying 'Morning! They've just left for X arena with your horse'. Or, as I were hanging about the car park 'Can I help you?'

I totally agree with you. My daughter rides and I turned up once and the horse was tacked up. We were in the school but couldn’t find the instructor anywhere.

I mean I’d ask anyone anything so I don’t mind going up to people and saying ooooh!!!!! What’s going on?

Cerealkiller4U · 07/06/2024 18:00

Pistachiovillian · 04/06/2024 11:05

I didn't know anyone was on reception and I didn't know she was a helping teenager. There was nobody about at all other than that.

Is it a livery too? This is where I find problems get caused cos no one knows what’s going on. The teen girls wouldn’t know if you had a lesson etc.

Umidontknow · 07/06/2024 20:25

Pistachiovillian · 07/06/2024 17:43

@Umidontknow I think I was just expecting someone to turn up or me to hear something of them. I wasn't sure I hadn't missed a cancellation msg or something. I realise I should have but as I said before I didn't really want to rock up and perhaps interrupt a lesson Id not booked in on.

I was there early. I don't think not going without me until the lesson was due to begin is mollycoddling. I can't have been down as a 'no show' when I was seen there at the correct time.

I agree with that @Shakespeareandi . I used to help my Mum with her job (showing people around show houses) and if she'd gone to the loo or something I'd been briefed on what to say, even though I was shy I wouldn't have not said anything even if just 'She'll be back in a minute!'. I wasn't any older than 14.

I can't see from the website that they are BHS approved but that doesn't mean they're not. I may be looking in the wrong place.

Most kids love helping and being around horses and ponies, I do understand that.

They didn't really tell me anything when I first started going, just what time to be there. I got there, went into the office, was shown where to get a hat to borrow. All other riders gathered in the car park.

@ThatAgileGoldMoose true. I am pretty confident with horses (more so than people) but I understand it may not always be the case. I am not annoyed with the school. It's fine. It's sorted out and I'll pay for my lesson and a half one next time-I take that point that schools and horsey facilities are in times of trouble, I didn't set out to waste anyone's time.

I really do like this school. There are others but I'd just rather not change.

@OMGsamesame we've always just met in the car park outside the office so I thought that was the norm and was surprised nobody was there this time. I was within good time to get a hat, put my riding boots on (I can't drive in them!) as I've said it was 20 past at the latest (that's what time I looked at the time anyway) It was very possibly a few mins earlier.

@stayathomer I do, thank you!

that's sad @Scottishgirl85 and to be honest, it is the reason or at least one of the reasons, that I have left schools before. A lot of snobbery and 'snottishness' in the 'horse' community.

@Tickytocky that is very odd! And I'd be hurt too. Wonder what it was?!

@ememem84 I understand that but it is a different situation to this one.

@Lovemycat2023 this one has seem very friendly so far which is one of the main reasons I like it. They should have told you absolutely! I am glad you put your money elsewhere. At least they 'phoned you though. They could have phoned me couldn't they?

I am sorry to hear about all these experiences. It's worth looking about to find a good school but as others have said, there aren't many of them.

I didn't think of that @PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting - maybe I am right and there wasn't a teen there? But then how's she told the manager that she saw me, pretended based on what the other children said?I am going with assuming that there was a lesson, based on how nice everyone has been so far before this.

@CarterBeatsTheDevil I didn't know where it was.

@Ginnnny no, they know I turned up-it was verified and whoever passed the msg onto the manager even described my actions exactly (got my hat, went, came back to put it back etc.)

@PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting I am very much often taken advantage of! I am over 40 now and just getting a bit less prone to it, seeing that people aren't always with good intentions no matter how nice they may seem. Thank you for that lovely post.

@YouSayChorizoIsayChorizo I have seen plenty of that myself too! A lot of shouting! It's just unnecessary in my opinion and not the right way to speak to people or get what you need from them. Thank you.

@stichguru no, I didn't. And I didn't know where they were. Not yet familiar with the facilities or the stables.

@GruntledGoblin I just don't want to start off on a hostile foot with them thinking I am horrible or want to not pay them for their time-I do. I just feel that this could have been handled a lot better-they shouldn't have gone without me not knowing if I knew where to go and it being a different situation to every other time if they did and the girl meant to be helping should have said something when she realised I hadn't joined the lesson, or ideally, before that.

Every time I've been so far the helpers have tacked up the horses and brough them to us in the car park, I didn't know which horse it would be (they don't have this written anywhere, each time before I have arrived, the instructor has greeted me, told me which horse and pointed him/her out if I didn't know, and then I have gone and got on).

@Ireallywantadoughnut36 that's how I feel too. They should have told me where the others were as they'd exited the car park early.

You're right about having youngsters 'working'. I've seen plenty of that behaviour too! Being shouted at etc.

That last paragraph sums it up for me really!

I understand their cost-saving measures being necessary.

@MrsSunshine2b they're £30.

@Frogpole ! Thank you-seen so much of that sort of thing on these threads. I am not responding to the daft content of that post. Bravo for that!

@oakleaffy come to think of it there were some awful 'horsey' girls at the school I went to too.

That's a lovely tale, how nice of him. I want to know what she was like to ride!

My emotions aren't working which is bothering me far more than it should be!

But that still doesn't explain why you didn't ask anyone even the children? If you where going out for a hack then I can understand the carpark being a logical place to wait but if you are having a lesson why didn't you walk to the arena? I really don't understand just standing in the same place for 20 minutes then just walking past people that could have helped you with out asking them.

Pistachiovillian · 10/06/2024 22:48

@TwixOwl mainly because I accept some responsibility. I could have gone looking, I could have asked the children. I still feel that it was the helper's job to say something to me, but I could have said something to them couldn't I? As people have pointed out here.

@Cerealkiller4U Yes it is a livery too. I agree with PPs who have said the girl should have been briefed that I may turn up and to tell me where the rest of the lesson had gone.

I've already explained why I didn't want to ask the children.

We've always met in the car park, lesson or hack, each time I've been although I appreciate I have not been at this school long. I didn't know which arena I was in and being everything so quiet and nobody around apart from children (which has never happened before, It's always been bustling with customers and horses and helpers) I started second guessing myself and thinking perhaps I'd not booked in.

OP posts:
Needanewname42 · 11/06/2024 00:00

@Pistachiovillian
Have you been back yet?

Hindsight is always wonderful but you have to look forward.

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