Background, multiple episodes of infidelity. I know, I jusy ask you set aside the fact I'm a total mug for a second and tell me what you'd make of this. You can call me a mug afterwards if you like.
This evening at just after 7 my DH announced he was going for leaving drinks with colleagues as one of the management team (who he cannot stand and has been moaning about for the past 2 years - is leaving)
He asked whether I'd mind and I said nope, just please don't stay out too late because he does one of the school runs and has form for not waking up in time.
This was the first I'd heard about it and it's unusual for him because he just doesn't drink. He might have one or two whiskeys at Christmas.
Out of curiosity, I asked where it was. It was then he says it's in X area, just up the road from the last OW's house. This is when my cogs started turning and I probed a bit.
He said he would only be gone until about 9 as a particular workmate he's friendly wasn't staying long as he isn't drinking. Apparently said workmate had been sitting there sober for about two hours 🙄
For context, he doesn't have his car at the moment and it would take him until just before 9 to get there on public transport. So as soon as he got there he'd be wrapping it up according to that timeline.
I asked when he found out about the gathering and he said a week ago. I asked why he hadn't mentioned it before just now and he said he wasn't sure he was going to go.
Before you conclude that I'm paranoid or controlling I need to mention the following. When he was having an affair he announced last minute that he was going for drinks with a workmate in that precise area, and he was with the OW, so I caught a big dose of deja vu.
I did make my suspicions known, rightly or wrongly, and he immediately went on the defensive and said he just "won't have a life then"
This is somebody who actively avoids going out and doing anything other than things he can't avoid such as work, the school run, the shop etx. He chooses to spend his spare time engaging in his hobbies indoors (computing, to name one)
He hasn't gone, although I can't say I feel any sort of relief about it. If I knew for sure he was up to his old tricks I'm not certain I'd even try to stop him this time.
I know the trust has completely gone and that's why I'm sitting here tonight having a realisation thinking life is too short for this shit. I don't want to spend the rest of my life (I'm only 30) second guessing whether he's going to do it again because I feel like he absolutely will and It's just who he is.
Do you think I'm unreasonable for being suspicious? I don't think I am but will graciously accept it if you do as honestly.. after years of the same old bollocks.. I am jaded and cynical.