How do you actually help an abused woman leave her husband?

[prettygarden]

This is about my mom and dad, so it's pretty difficult.

He's abusive. Always has been. Sometimes physical, but rarely. Financially, he has been and continues to be extremely abusive.

They're in their 60s and 70s now and still, their situation is a constant issue. I'm concerned for my mom. He's become more explosive and I think she's in real danger.

She talks about what an ass he is, constantly and how she wishes she could be free.

Financially, she's ok. She could leave. But she just won't.

I'm at my wits end / so is everyone close to her and we just don't know what to do.

You can’t. There are so many reasons why women don’t leave abusive relationships. I imagine her self esteem and self worth are rock bottom.

Is she having counselling? Will she speak to women’s aid?

No she won't do any of that.

She says she doesn't need therapy.

Much as you must want to just kidnap her and get her away from him, it doesn't work. Women who are made to leave before they are ready invariably go back, which leads to more violence and abuse. It's a horrific situation for loved ones, I'm so sorry you're going through it.

My advice is to spend as much time with her as you can, building her confidence and encouraging her to trust herself and you. Take her out without him, pursue her interests, keep showing her glimpses of how much better life can be. You cannot feel your chains until you move.

You can only help people who want to be helped. I’m afraid you have to accept she’s staying put until she tells you otherwise.

She complains about him constantly. She does plan to leave, but there's always something in the way.

I know your pain as a daughter in this situation... it is horrendous to be in the middle of this.

I personally had to step away. You can't rescue your parents. They need to sort it out themselves.

I'm afraid a lot of people spend their whole lives sleeping next to their abuser.

What does she say is in the way of her leaving?

Omg I could write this too !

sane boat with a family member.

I’ve even spoken to her counsellor today ( She gave permission).

No idea where to go now !