to follow a gymguy, then drop into his DMs?

[Sofabodatgym]

More like - am I being an idiot? Creepy? pick me?

I'm single, saw this guy a few times 2/3 years ago, liked him, he kept noticeably standing near me at gym, but I didn't initiate chat as I was still newly single and wasn't in that mindset. But I've wondered about him occasionally. I've since found out he's low level well known in this area, and works at different gyms, so his insta is out there, that's how people book sessions w/him. Then saw him again recently, he was on his own, we both smiled at each other, and he then walked over and stood next to me making eye contact and asked me if he could use equipment first. I was keen to chat to him, but then a woman I vaguely know came over and started intently chatting at me. So I felt a bit over-whelmed, focused on her as I know her and he moved on. The woman wouldn't shift from my side, then I had to dash for work.

I like his vibes, we're both same (middle) age, it's rare to meet someone in RL I fancy and I'm pretty sure he's single. He may not coincide at my gym for another 2 years, it's a bit weird to track where he works and I don't want to book a session w/him as that immediately turns me into a client and boundaries. So I could forget it, and see what fate says or dm him, maybe asking him for gym advice.....

So, do I NOT DM him and stop being a desperate bit** - I'll see him again naturally at some point - YABU

Or go for it, DM him, life's too short, who needs an ego - YANBU

If you see him at the gym, talk to him at the gym.

I think it really depends on the person!

If you know him & know he’s single I would say a DM is probably fine- although he works in a gym, so if I was you I’d be prepared for the fact that he may have just been touting for business. My gym is full of male PT’s, they smile/flirt with/compliment every single woman that comes through the doors, it’s part of their job almost, it’s how they get clients, it doesn’t mean they fancy us all so definitely be prepared for that!

I think if you don’t actually know him then it’s maybe a bit creepy to be like “Hi I saw you at the gym a few months ago you’re fit”.

I'd do it. Seems like you feel you are getting some signals from him, and as you say, you might not cross paths again for a while.

I don't know really.

All you've said here is he asked if he could use the equipment before you?

But if you got the 'he fancies you' vibe, I suppose there's no harm.

"low level well know in this area" added to the fact he is a PT just indicates Fuck Boy to me, I'm afraid. I'm sure not all PTs are players but your description of him giving you the eyes/standing close/making small talk etc does indicate this isn't a new scenario for him. I'm an avid gym go-er and involved in the bodybuilding scene, so I'm pretty good at spotting the signs of the gym predators after all these years.

If you fancy him and would be interested in something casual, that's grand. But ,if you're looking for love, I see red flags on the horizon.

It's a lot of fretting over a bloke you don't know who once asked if he could use a bit of gym equipment 😆

I wouldn't dm him asking for gym advice- that's cheeky to pretend to be a potential client when you're after a date (imagine if the sexes were reversed). You could just follow him on Instagram and comment on a few posts, see if you like him on there. Or be a bit more open about things but as pp said it may well just lead to something casual at best but perhaps that's what you want?

Him asking if he can use a piece of gym equipment first is hardly him expressing an interest in you. If anything, isn’t it him being a bit selfish? Say you wanted to use it first, it’s hardly him being chivalrous. Isn’t it just the sort of conversation you would have with anyone in the gym?!

I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole because low level well known doesn't do it for me at all, plus the fact that he gave you eye contact when he walked over to ask if he could jump on the equipment you were standing next to before you? Not really chat up vibes at all.

I'd let him find you, he will if he's interested, he knows where you go to the gym. Or if you do throw caution to the wind, be prepared to join a queue.

"Drop into his DMs"

Ah you youngsters...

I shall add this lingo to the list of things that make me the complete opposite of a typical mumsnet user.

I urge caution, if he says no it may be v awkward at the gym after.

Thanks for responses! So, I'm leaning towards just forget it from responses. I get it's creepy. Maybe I'll just follow him. But his vibe isn't player at all, he's geeky, shy and not young(!) My type but not a universal type.

This tbh. Fine if that's what you're after, but if not, be wary.

You say he isn’t young, and you are both the same age, middle age. How old are you both?

What MBM says, too. Low level well known PT? He might grant you a shag or two, but that’s it. Been there, got the t-shirt…