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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel I have lost myself

27 replies

Pleasebegentle123 · 02/06/2024 21:23

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to hear from this but hoping maybe I'm not alone.
I used to have lots of emotion, I'd look forward to things, go out on a sunny day with excitement, cry at a sad movie. Since I've had children my emotions have completely levelled out. I feel love for my children and I'm proud of their achievements but I just feel flat all the time. I struggle making decisions mainly because I'm not bothered either way. I just feel I've lost the old me. Is this normal? Am I just getting older?
My husband isn't an overly out there person so it would always be one sided, I guess that doesn't help. We're also working full time looking after young kids and renovating a house with little support (we'll he does from MIL but not me, that's a whole other story!)
AIBU and should just accept this is what happens in life or has anyone been there and things get better?

OP posts:
wido · 08/06/2024 14:11

For me this has been the weight of the responsibility of and dedication to child rearing which due to child hood experiences is more pronounced for me than it is for most people. It's lifting as my kids are needing me less.

Sallyball · 15/08/2024 23:14

Lilacdew · 02/06/2024 23:08

I agree with @CheshireSplat it does sound like mild anhedonia, which is a kind of depression where you don;t feel down or sad, you just feel...nothing. I had it once and it really scared me, far worse than normal depression. It was as if the only thing in life I cared about was DC. Nothing else.

I got around it by doing something new every day that I'd never done before and keeping a record of how it felt - nothing massive necessarily - just something like: 'Tried cinnamon tea. It was nicer than i expected. Might have it again.' Or 'Went wild swimming today. Very cold but did feel energised afterwards.'

At first it made very little difference but after a few weeks, it sort of worked. i just had more excitement and pleasure in life.

Would this be something that's worth a go for you?

Just looking through these kind of posts as i posted something similar to OP and I have to say this sounds promising

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