Struggling with a friend, not sure we've much in common

[Handsomesquidward]

She's a lovely woman and she has autism so it's not her fault. We met through a hobby which she doesn't do anymore, but otherwise we don't seem to have much in common. She texts me almost daily and replies immediately to every text 95% of the time. If she replies say 2 hours later she will be very apologetic.
I just reply when I want, I don't need to reply immediately. I find it quite suffocating.
Our conversation seems to be mainly small talk, there isn't that sort of holiness. I know this sounds horrible and she deserves better, I don't like to slow fade people and I wouldn't like it done to me.
Conversation is just very forced, we just talk about the same few things.
This is going to sound nasty but we did go to see a film once and she sat with her body turned towards me and her legs very close to me, it made me feel uncomfortable.
Not sure what to do tbh.

What you're describing isn't a friendship. I understand that you don't want to hurt this woman's feelings, but no reason to feel guilty about not wanting to spend time with someone you have nothing in common with.

I know the correct thing to do is to just be honest with her, but I find it really difficult to bluntly tell someone that I'd rather they stop contacting me as I'm not interested in pursuing a friendship. So I would take the coward's way out and tell her that life is extremely busy right now and I don't have time for a social life, nothing personal, etc.

Obviously fairly transparent, but better than ghosting her; more like letting her down gently.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.
I think you're right, tbh.
It's just such forced conversation.

It might be due to ASD but she will ask me the same questions over and over again, questions that I've already answered several times. It might just be a memory issue too, I know I'm being harsh here but the texting is very intense.

It’s a tricky one. You can’t force a friendship if you’re not feeling it though. Handle it sensitively and carefully I think it would hurt her feelings to be really direct in this case maybe just be less available with your time and contact.

Phasing it out slowly will hurt her as much as telling her straight, it will be like gaslighting because she will know something is different, worry that she has done something, ask what it is and be told “no nothing, everything is the same”

The longer you leave the worse it will be.

I wouldn’t be able to tell her I don’t want to be friends anymore but I would say I’m taking a break from WhatsApp and won’t be able to respond anymore.

I think I'd probably send her a text and tell her that while you do like her as a person, over recent weeks/months, you've come to the conclusion that you don't really have anything in common, and think it better if you drop the texts and spend time with other people that you have more in common with.

Can you force a change by switching the method of communication? Tell her it’s nothing personal but are trying to spend less time on your phone, and you don’t like texting people. But you’d be happy to speak on the phone every 3 weeks, or meet up every 6.

If it’s the texting & daily contact that she’s compulsive about, and you set a boundary around not wanting to communicate that way, you may find she decides not to continue with the friendship herself, and even feels it’s a decision she’s made.

Her ASD is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter why she isn’t the type of friend you want. The snag is that appears to be stopping you ending the ongoing situation.

If she’s texting everyday and replying really fast she might not have much else going on or she could be really lonely.
you said she’s a lovely woman but you don’t have much in common. I’m not sure what you can do other than stop replying to her? Or reply less frequently? I don’t think I would tell her we have nothing in common.

You might be her only friend which is why she is a little intense. Sometimes people with autism struggle to connect with others and find it hard to make friends. She probably thinks she has finally made a friend so is really making an effort e.g. by responding straight away to texts etc.
I don’t know what the kindest course of action is here. You clearly aren’t feeling the friendship and from your post it seems that she is now making you feel a little uncomfortable. Maybe you could just explain to her that you have a lot going on at the moment and are quite busy but still speak to her every now and then? She might be lonely.