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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If your garden is messy, do you still sit in it and enjoy it?

110 replies

Wheeder · 02/06/2024 13:43

We did a massive job 6 weeks ago. Looks like shit again. Cba to be honest. Lawn mower is dodgy, not going to spend an hour trying to get it on.

Do you sit in messy gardens?

OP posts:
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MagpiePi · 02/06/2024 14:32

I've just spent about 2 hours lying on the grass, reading the newspaper and watching the birds and insects. My lawn and borders have plenty of what people would call weeds, but I would say are native flowering plants and grasses in between the plants I put there. I even have moss growing in some of the joints in the patio slabs, and lichens on the walls and paths.
I personally can't be doing with regimented and sterile looking gardens, but each to their own.

SpanThatWorld · 02/06/2024 14:33

I'm sitting here 😎

If your garden is messy, do you still sit in it and enjoy it?
ThinkingAgainAndAgain · 02/06/2024 14:36

My garden never looks tidy. There are too many big, expensive jobs that need to be done for it to look decent - we need a new patio as our is crumbling, our paths are breaking up so that it is impossible to keep on top of weeds so they need to be replaced, our retaining walls are bowing, and there are so many beds that there are always loads of plants that need pruning or deadheading or shifting somewhere else. Add to this the normal amount of weeding and sweeping that goes with having a garden.

If I didn’t sit in it when it’s messy, I’d never sit in it.

It looks lovely from a distance but it’s a different story when you look properly!

BabySnarkDoDoo · 02/06/2024 14:52

I love the idea of relaxing in a tidy garden. Sadly, ours has been a massive renovation project and my DH doesn't do gardening. He also takes an age to do trips to the tip, so various piles of rubble have been a constant garden feature over the years. I've got good at hiding them out of eyeline and trying to not have them in full view of passers by, although it does sometimes feel like I live in Steptoe's yard.

A decade later, it's still a work in progress, but I'm 95% there, with finishing the patio being the last job I need to do. We're also planning on moving this year, so fingers crossed I'll get a couple of days of enjoying lazing around in the garden before we sell up! Next house, I'm definitely going to go for a low maintenance garden.

Goldiedoodling · 02/06/2024 14:58

Still waiting for hubby to finally sort ours, but hasn’t stopped me sunbathing today, could care less!

Tumbleweed101 · 02/06/2024 14:58

Mine is a bit overgrown this year as it has rained every day off I've had! However the lawn was mowed yesterday so that's a big step towards making it look tidier. Got brambles and nettles and other wild plants dotted about but they are flowering now so look pretty. So yes, I can sit our in the garden :)

ThinkingAgainAndAgain · 02/06/2024 14:58

I dream of a low maintenance garden where the hard landscaping would cope with a pressure washer without disintegrating, an irrigation system and repeat planting to reduce the frequency of pruning and deadheading.

Previousreligion · 02/06/2024 16:49

Yes if it's overgrown. I love a wild garden. My previous garden was small and in a city but was a totally overgrown chaos. I thought it looked lovely though when the roses, daisies and buttercups were blooming and we had loads of hedgehogs. I actually prefer lawns with daisies, clover and dandelions.

No if it's got rubbish, broken toys, pet poo or anything like that lying around.
.

Lilacdew · 02/06/2024 16:58

I have to. DH is the gardener and although he spends hours and fecking hours out there, fiddling about, weeding two inches of flowerbed, he loves the wild look - the patio needs weeding, the lawn is knee high. It has pretty wild flowers like a meadow which looks pretty but I do wish it was all a bit more cared for. He gets twitchy if I try and intervene. We are moving soon and one new thing I want is my own half of the garden, which I will care for properly, so I can enjoy it.

IrritableVowel · 02/06/2024 16:59

Ours is tidy in the sense that there is no rubbish lying around, but it isn't "done". We have a nice patio area with seating and a clear pathway down to the bottom of the garden but the rest is wild. The dogs have it dug up in places and we have loads of wild flowers, it would be a massive job to do it fully, but once it is clear of rubbish and the patio is swept, I don't care about the rest

JMSA · 02/06/2024 17:02

My next property will NOT have a garden that is laid to lawn. A small courtyard will do me just fine, with stone and pretty pots.
Grass is the bane of my existence. I can't sit in a messy garden, yet the bloody grass grows like Billy-oh because of all our Scottish rain.

Bournetilly · 02/06/2024 17:03

Mine is a new build garden, just paving and grass. The grass isn’t long but it’s patchy and failing to grow back. I won’t sit in it like it is.

5128gap · 02/06/2024 17:03

TheRomanticOutlaw · 02/06/2024 14:20

I do sit on my messy patio but it’s bothering me. My garden is pretty big for a little two bed house and it slopes upwards away from the house ( patio is the only flat bit) and I’m disabled so I can’t mow it. I’ve attached a pic. It’s got a huge bank of ivy & brambles running down the left, but I don’t mind that as a fox family lives there, and loads of hedgehogs. It looks quite nice in the pic, but my patio is a mess as it hasn’t been cleaned this year (I got let down ☹️) there are old pots around it and stuff that needs throwing out. The bushes and trees need cutting back a bit too. If I just sit facing the grass it’s fine and don’t look at the patio, I can cope 🤣

Oh thats lovely! Very envious of all your established trees and shrubs. Despite living in an old house, I have almost nothing in the garden except the lawn and my half hearted attempt with the sole bed. I think when you've got lots in there like you have, you don't need to keep everything immaculate as it just looks so lush and natural. Whereas a sparce affair with a scruffy bit of lawn and some rubbish just looks like no one cares.

Hedjwitch · 02/06/2024 17:12

Depends how you define messy. Wildlife is our priority so grass is long, lots of huge tangled areas of honeysuckle and ivy which are left untended but house hedgehogs,small birds and toads.
Pond is almost hidden under growth and foliage but teeming with tadpoles and frogs and attracts damselflies. Lots of flowering plants in pots.
So,not tidy by any means but a joy to sit in

Lemonyyy · 02/06/2024 17:16

Absolutely. Dog and children running around mean it’s never going to be pristine, I cannot be fucked with weeding, hey Ho, life is too short to sit inside!

BeachHutsAndDeckchairs · 02/06/2024 17:17

Ours is more overgrown and mature rather than messy - there's no rubbish apart from the pile of old cupboard bits that need to go to the tip - and yes, I like to use it.

We have a bench and table that are rotting so we use them as a potting area and currently has several plants in pots and several others waiting to be repotted. We have a summerhouse that's in need of a good sanding, treating and painting but I still sit in it every opportunity I get.

The grass is half way between long and short but the daisies, buttercups, dandelions and clover look too lovely to cut!

PostMenPatWithACat · 02/06/2024 17:17

We have half an acre, gardeners do 4 hours pw April to November.

We love the garden. Sitting in it is 20 mins over coffee first thing and a g&t after work. The rest of our spare time is spent looking after it.

henlake7 · 02/06/2024 17:32

Nope...its a shitheap.
Currently fences are about to fall down, its totally overgrown and also has a bunch of builders rubble and an old sofa in it as I havent called a collection person to take it away.

Id love to be able to sit out in it and actually garden again , unfortunately I have issues with my (alcoholic, drug addict, mentally unstable) neighbour and as a terrace we are practically on top of each other.
So I just dont go outside at all...🙁

Runemum · 02/06/2024 17:40

Currently sitting in a garden with an unmown lawn and enjoying the sun.. Have patches where I am trying to reseed new grass so can't mow it.

Myblindsaredown · 02/06/2024 17:40

No, to be fair I would need to deal with it, and it’s a very large garden. I reminded my husband that we need to also enjoy it, not just take care of it, but we actually do enjoy taking care of it, we are always out doing stuff.

i couldn’t sit in amongst weeds, a dirty patio and overgrown stuff, just as I couldn’t sit in a messy house.

Theothername · 02/06/2024 17:42

Yes. I love spending time outdoors. I don’t always have the energy or bandwidth for gardening but since I’ve got involved in some biodiversity initiatives I've come to appreciate the weeds!

I used to torment myself with negative self talk about what I hadn’t got around to. Switching to self compassion and appreciation of nature has done wonders for my mental health.

likepebblesonabeach · 02/06/2024 17:51

No, I couldn't relax in the garden if it was a mess, likewise the house.
I'm not a gardener by any means so, although large, is fairly low maintenance. I cut the grass, weather depending, weekly and it doesn't take that long.
Pots rather than borders and 2 patio areas that take little looking after

LaWench · 02/06/2024 17:55

I hate gardening and the weeds love it. I'm happy to sit in it whilst overgrown but I do need to get on top of it.

thehousewiththesagegreensofa · 02/06/2024 18:01

Our garden generally looks like a war zone as the kids spend so much time out here kicking a football around. I have learned to ignore it and just daydream about how my garden will look when they have left home & I have retired. My retired neighbours' garden is just beautiful.

Ilovemyshed · 02/06/2024 18:14

No. Much as I wouldn't sit in a messy house.

Relaxing to me is in a space which is calm and tidy and that includes the garden. I have a large garden and it takes me less than an hour to edge and cut the grass and hoe over the beds. Doing it regularly makes it an easy job. Much like a house that stays tidy if everything is kept in its place, then a quick mop, dust, hoover and plump sorts it.

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