To think I’m not becoming an alcoholic

[Scarysnakes]

As DH seems to think so. I don’t drink everyday. In fact there’s been times I’ve gone months without a drop. If someone said to me “you can never drink alcohol again” I wouldn’t be bothered (ok maybe a little) I tend to only drink in social occasions which isn’t very regularly anyway.

The only reason he thinks this is because whenever things get a bit stressful I tend to turn to a drink and then once I start I find it hard to stop. Last weekend I was so stressed I had a few drinks at home then was sad I had no more in the house so I went to the shop and bought more. I don’t think this is a problem I am just letting my hair down once in a while.

My brother is a functioning alcoholic so I don’t think this helps DH thinking pattern

Don’t drink alcohol. If you find you can’t do this then get an appointment with your GP.

Drinking becomes a bad habit long before it becomes a problem. If you are reaching for a drink when stressed it's the start of a bad relationship. Maybe avoid in future with stressed or sad and keep it for social occasions

Anyone who finds it hard to stop once they start drinking has a dangerous relationship with alcohol. Because problem drinking isn't just about not being able to go a day without a drink, that's just the stereotype and the comforting yardstick by which we can measure ourselves. Its equally about lacking the off switch that means a moderate amount is enough and doesn't kick off a craving to carry on. If that's you, then you are at risk of a drink problem. And unless your H is controlling generally, it might be best not to completely dismiss his concerns. He's the one with the ring side seat, and if you don't have the off switch, will have seen that in you and how that affects you when you may not.
I'd advise that when you drink you set a limit beforehand and see if you can stick to it. Not as a one off that you grit your teeth through to prove you're OK, but repeatedly. See how that feels. Because if your relationship with alcohol is fine, it will feel fine.

If she has a drink problem then I'm sure she does have 'a controlling DH problem'. Because by some huge coincidence, every person who drinks in a problematic way seems to have a controlling partner who's also joyless, boring, uptight, a fun sponge, doesn't understand what 'normal' people do....Funny that.

Alcohol makes me feel so much better after a really bad day. With that in mind, I have approx. 2 pints of Guinness or Heineken per month. I am a recovering drug addict (15 years clean!) and know using something to make yourself feel better, be it cocaine, drink or food is a slippery slope. For me anyway.

He could be annoyed at your behaviour when you've been drinking, so is saying it to try and make you see you're different when you've had too much.
Being branded an alcoholic by others doesn't make you one. Being told you're fine when you drink too much doesn't make you not one.
It's about how it affects your life, your relationship, your ability to cope etc. if you always reach for drink in times of emotional instability then it would be a good idea to look at other coping mechanisms.
Would you feel you'd benefit from counselling? I'm not saying don't drink, but don't totally disregard what he's saying as it's a sign it's affecting others.

I watched my partner slowly slip into alcoholism. It started with just drinking at the weekends to de-stress after work and ended with him sneaking vodka into the house in a Dr pepper bottle every single day. This happened in the space of 4 years. Its a slippery slope but it can be turned around. Its good that you can see you may have an issue x

I think you are a functioning alcoholic and because you still function it's easier to deny to yourself.

I hope you’re joking?

Its a reference to the fact that almost everybody who has ever raised an issue with their partner's drinking is told by the drinker that they are controlling. Its an extremely common form of gaslighting amongst people with drink problems. It's not me, it's you...

I think when you develop a consistent behavioural pattern of using alcohol as a crutch or an aid to cope with life's downs and stresses, yes, you are an alcoholic.

I thought you were blaming the non drinker partner for pushing them to it 😯 👍

My fault for being facetious. 😊

I would say you don’t have a healthy relationship with drink.

You use it as a crutch and then can’t stop once your start.

My grandfather was very much the same and diagnosed as an alcoholic.

You say you could go without out it. But you couldn’t really if it’s what you do to deal when things ‘get a bit stressful’. If you need it when things get a bit stressful, then there’s an issue.