Long one sorry! I'm in a situation where I recently distanced myself from a very close friend due to her behaviour. Our lives were very intertwined and it would have been difficult to distance myself gradually, so I told her that I dont feel as close to her anymore and why. She has since blocked me on everything (understandable as she mudt be hurt) and I have been told by her husband 'never to contact the family ever again' - very dramatic. She is really playing the victim and hasn't acknowledged that her behaviour is wrong. I distanced myself from her because she is judgemental, bitchy and downright spiteful about everyone in her life. Examples (there are many many more than this) are as follows:
-She said that one of our friends didn't deserve her phd because her parents helped her financially.
-She told our friends personal information about my mental health after she and I had a disagreement. This happened a while ago but wrecked my trust in her.
-She told me that a mutual friend's husband had an affair- friend didn't want anyone to know.
-She has repeatedly expressed a lack of empathy for friends who are having issues at work etc: 'why is she even stressed, she works in the private sector', 'she should have known what the job was like.'
-She said that a person we know (they are supposedly close friends - we'll call the person A) has had more kids than she can cope with (3) and doesn't parent them. She also said that this person's oldest child (5) is 'sly' and 'spiteful', being critical of A on lots of occasions behind her back.
A (mentioned above, ex friend and her have become close over the past number of years, going on holiday together etc) and I used to be very close in our early twenties (12 years ago) but grew apart due me moving away from home town (I'm back now), We had started to meet up again infrequently for coffee etc which was lovely as I have missed her. I have messaged her to see if she is about for coffee and a playdate (her DD 2 and my DS 1.5 will be the same class at school) and she has completely ignored my message. I have also realised that she has blocked me on social media since ex friend and I fell out. AIBU to feel angry and sad for both her and myself to think that my ex friend has played the victim to her (despite saying awful things about her parenting and child), turning A against me? I know I can't tell A about the stuff she has said as it would hurt A so I'm totally stuck.